existential boredom

[a.n.kirillov]

The last three months I have been unemployed and lived off of savings. I have realized that even if I were to inherit a large fortune or win the lottery and fulfil my dreams of a house near a lake and with beautiful nature surrounding it, I would probably still be suicidal - because bare existence is empty, boring. I couldn't even live as an Arabian prince ffs, how am I supposed to go on living as a minimum wage slave worker for the rest of my earthly existence?

Okay, maybe I would manage to stay alive. But it wouldn't be great all of a sudden, it would still suck most of the time. This realization which I had even before this period of unemployment makes me utterly hopeless.

 

[Yomyom]

I worked as a cashier in a crappy supermarket, I quite 6 months ago when I understood that I'm wasting my time, my luck is that I don't have any expense since I live with my dad
Sending you hugs

 

[x-Ace-x]

I understand. Money most likely won't change your mind if you're suicidal. People try to pursue their goals in life but what if you have none. Working 8 hours 5 times a week can be so exhausting, especially if you don't like what you do. I'm sorry but all I can do is wish you to find a goal and try to stay positive, although it doesn't work for me.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

The last three months I have been unemployed and lived off of savings. I have realized that even if I were to inherit a large fortune or win the lottery and fulfil my dreams of a house near a lake and with beautiful nature surrounding it, I would probably still be suicidal - because bare existence is empty, boring. I couldn't even live as an Arabian prince ffs, how am I supposed to go on living as a minimum wage slave worker for the rest of my earthly existence?

Okay, maybe I would manage to stay alive. But it wouldn't be great all of a sudden, it would still suck most of the time. This realization which I had even before this period of unemployment makes me utterly hopeless.

The only way for that view or narrative to be challenged or changed, is for something that turns your world upside down. A partner who you love more then anything, a job you could never want to leave, etc. You aren't going to be happy when everything you do is impervious to a happy life. You shouldn't get out of bed because you have to, or live life in general because you have to, you should want to. However, some people are so miserable that-that is literally impossible.

 

[PillowSia]

People and therapists have told me multiple times that 'If a game or a show gets you through another day, if that's what it takes to keep you alive, that's perfectly fine.' But I argue with it every time. It feels so vapid. I'm postponing my death because a game releases sometime next month or whatever? A show finishes up this fall? What does that say about me as a person? What does that mean when I'm not looking forward to anything anymore? Why do those things matter at all if we all just end up as stardust anyway? Those things only offer temporary respite anyway, so why bother stalling like that? I don't know. I can't answer that. I can theorize, but that does little to quell the heart and mind of myself, let alone others in a similar position. I so badly wish I could though.

I guess the most one can hope for is to find a cause they believe in deeply and fight for it? A person or a movement or a knowledge of some sort? But then you start thinking about how those things in and of themselves are equally as transient, even if they survive for a few more generations than you will, and it just... I dunno. I thought I knew. I wanted to believe I knew. Even if it was really as shallow as 'just keep yourself distracted until you die.' But I don't know anything. I never have.

But that won't stop me from hoping that you find an answer that brings you peace, whatever it may mean to you. At the very least, I hope things start to look up for you.

 

[TeenIdle]

Same happens to me. I finished studying and got a job 2 years ago and I just can't keep doing it anymore. I'm sick and tired and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life from 6:00 to 18:00 from monday to friday being a slave with a lot of pressures, responsabilities and no time to rest. I don't enjoy anything, I'm tired of people, I'm tired of everything. I'm just not designed to live in this shitty world and I don't fit in.

 

[Ulisses]

its existential side outweighs its material side. your mind sabotages you. because of this routine, to earn a salary, if I have the whole world to
discover or really enjoy? you go into crisis. between freedom and routine. my desire is to be supertramp alex and walk around without worrying about anything

 

[FohPah]

The antidote to existential boredom is to be needed in a role that you're good at, and to take pride in the work that you do in that role.

That's why unemployment is so boring -- it's not the lack of a job or income per se; it's the experience of not being needed, of not having a role to play, of not doing anything that you're proud of.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

You shouldn't get out of bed because you have to, or live life in general because you have to, you should want to.

Exactly! My old status used to read 'velle non discitur' which translates to 'wanting/ willing can't be taught/ learned'.

I just feel like an animal: I get up because my stomach tells me to get up or because I feel uneasy laying in bed, and then I live my day in a purely hedonistic manner, just trying to be somewhat comfortable. But this simply isn't enough all the worries and pain that comes with continuing to subsist.

What does that mean when I'm not looking forward to anything anymore?

(...)

I guess the most one can hope for is to find a cause they believe in deeply and fight for it?

Thank you. You nailed it, nothing to look forward to.

I have causes I am greatly interested in and used to make art very passionately, but back then I had lots more time and resources and no worries and still I didn't accomplish anything. Nowadays I am just not functional enough anymore - maybe this would change if I had enough funds to continue living unemployed but this likely won't happen.

it's the experience of not being needed, of not having a role to play, of not doing anything that you're proud of.

Yes and I have felt that more or less all throughout my life. I feel like my talents or strengths just aren't what my environment or society cherishes. There were definitely times, for example when I was in a group of friends who were into hip-hop culture and art (dancing, DJing and so on) when I used to fulfil such a role and could apply myself. But now I don't see any way to effect anything since I can't function on the labour market very well.

I could only work shit jobs and make music on the side, write a blog maybe on the side, but I would continue to struggle for the rest of my life.

 

[Epsilon0]

@a.n.kirillov

"because bare existence is empty, boring"

I agree with you. It's all a matter of being able to distract yourself enough to not ponder the futility and emptiness of everything. Hence the need we all have for a job, hobbies, social interaction etc.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

People and therapists have told me multiple times that 'If a game or a show gets you through another day, if that's what it takes to keep you alive, that's perfectly fine.' But I argue with it every time. It feels so vapid.

Yeah.

This seems like an adequate strategy to get through a period of acute crisis – 'one day at a time', okay, sure that's fine.

But as like a long-term solution to living out the entirety of one's life? It feels so empty and meaningless.

Struggling to stay alive like this – day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year – just feels like torture.

 

[262653]

The antidote to existential boredom is to be needed in a role that you're good at, and to take pride in the work that you do in that role.

That's why unemployment is so boring -- it's not the lack of a job or income per se; it's the experience of not being needed, of not having a role to play, of not doing anything that you're proud of.

With all unrelated things being equal, would two people, who depend on each other to survive be less existentially bored than two people, each of which secures one's own survival? What do you think?

 

[a.n.kirillov]

With all unrelated things being equal, would two people, who depend on each other to survive be less existentially bored than two people, each of which secures one's own survival? What do you think?

I think all (!) else being equal the situation would be preferable psychologically, because it fills a basic human need for both in this scenario.

 

[FohPah]

With all unrelated things being equal, would two people, who depend on each other to survive be less existentially bored than two people, each of which secures one's own survival? What do you think?

That's a good thought experiment.

I think the answer is probably yes. Some of our strongest bonds are formed through the shared experience of working together to overcome challenges.

Codependency can also bring out the worst in people, though. Especially when each person is stressed and doesn't feel like they're getting what the other person owes them. Or when there's a clash of personalities.

The answer depends on the people's ability to handle the stress of their situation.

 

[Epsilon0]

I think that as soon as you throw in "survival dependency" in the equation, things change.

If you feel responsible towards another human being, and, furthermore, if their survival depends and you, and you want them to survive, that in itself gives you a purpose and makes your life meaningful.