Venting Existence could never be “beautiful”.

[betternever2havbeen]

I thought I was as pessimistic and antinatalist as it gets, and it saddens me to see that some people such as you experience life so negatively that you hold views that even I would consider as extreme. Yes, I agree that life is a net negative, no one should have ever existed, existence is absolutely terrible and it would have been better if no one, from humans to viruses, ever existed. But as the years went by, I allowed some nuance into my views, ie, beauty could exist in spite of the suffering. Being hugged and kissed, creating art, watching a show I enjoy, saving for an item and finally unboxing it, plopping into a soft warm bed after a long day, are all little joys I am still able to experience, even if they are only joys because suffering enables the experience of that joy. I still don't consider them enough justification to continue existing or create more sentient existences, but I am fortunate that I still experience happiness, though I know you'd label this as being deluded. Being deluded is better than being miserable 100% all the time though I guess, which is why I understand why some people would want to bring more children into this world. This is why I keep my antinatalist views to myself now.

Same to the other users here, I am so curious about who you are, what you do in real life. Feeling relieved out of a small suffering, such as satiating hunger or thirst, resting after work, finishing a task--they are all still positive experiences, right? I mean that you would rather experience them than stay hungry, being overworked, etc. than not.

I feel the same-it was weird to run into someone who has even more negative views on life than me, and I wouldn't wish how I feel on anyone!
I don't really enjoy those things you mentioned, I think I have anhedonia. Sure they're nice and better than the alternative, but not enough to make me ever glad I was born. I think I fall somewhere between you and FC.

 

[offbalance]

As other people have already pointed out suicide just isn't straightforward in this world. If suicide was as easy as just choosing to leave, then this site would never need to exist. The fact is that suicidal people are denied the option of methods like Nembutal, we cannot just exit in a peaceful and reliable way and it's the reality. In this world suicide is so unnecessarily complicated and risky, and people can end up in a situation of even worse suffering just from trying to attempt.

And no, I don't see existence as being positive or desirable at all, I just carry on existing as if one doesn't find a way to die there is no choice but to. My existence is so futile and empty and I simply despise existing, it could never be worth it for me, but of course as I said it's just not straightforward to leave. There are absolutely loads of posts on this site written by people struggling to plan suicide and go through with it, one can hate existing and be fully aware that suicide is the most rational option, yet still feel trapped here. I wish that existence had an off switch but it simply doesn't, and also I live in the UK which is a very anti suicide country.

And the forum is fine for me, it serves it's purpose as being a place to vent, I don't really care about what other people post on here, I just use this site for my own sake.


No, it's not offensive, I do find existing to be very tedious and unnecessary, it's the way that things have always been, it's completely a futile process but time will pass no matter what and then I will eventually fall asleep, at least I'm able to sleep for some of my time spent here, (even if it often takes a while to fall asleep) But apart from that only death can bring relief from suffering, existing here truly is a hopeless fate, it's the reality and it will and can only get worse.

Maybe there's not 100% fail safe methods but some methods are pretty much guaranteed assuming you drink enough of the poison and don't get "saved" and are painless

 

[locked*n*loaded]

@FuneralCry has explained in some of her previous posts that she is "ill" (multiple ailments), lives with her parents, and has no access to any method to remove herself from her misery. In essence, she's trapped in her own existence. She lives her agony on an hour-by-hour basis with no escape in site.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

i think existing is inherently neutral. we're all just animals living on earth, the reason humans are so unhappy is that the society we were born into isn't sustainable or enjoyable at all. this isn't human nature though, it's a choice we all for some reason keep making.

if you arent going to ctb any time soon, you should really just spend more time in nature and learn about how the world works. the more you learn about how other species live, the more you realize how insignificant our human problems and lives are.

before you call me pro-life, i'm not, i'm just also not exclusively pro-death like you. i think you should either ctb as soon as possible or just do something else with your life. i don't see what the point is of prolonging your suffering like this is. it's either a very short amount of time of a lot of discomfort & pain, and then it's over forever, or years and years slowly dying and suffering. i don't know why you're choosing the second option when your entire philosophy backs the first option. if you're too scared to ctb, just do something better with your life

To be fair, there's not much we could do to change the nature of society, too many people are content with the way things are. It may not be human nature, but it's what humans are accustomed to.


Also guys, unrelated to the post I replied to, can we not bash FuneralCry? They've done nothing wrong but vent and share their worldview, which many on the site do. I may not agree with what FuneralCry says, or her worldview but it's no excuse to bash her. Our views are different and she's using the site same as the rest of us. Maybe some of the ones I'm interpreting as bashing is just me misinterpreting but please, for everyone's sake, show a little empathy. As @locked*n*loaded said, FuneralCry doesn't really have access to a way out and doesn't have a very great life.

Anyways, FuneralCry, I wish you the best in today and I hope your weekend goes okay, if you see this.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

I cannot help but disagree. FuneralCry has expressed their distaste of existence in itself, not just human existence. Assuming that they are only talking about human suffering and the pains of human existence is missing the point of these posts entirely.

Your message is kind of insulting as well, I'm assuming that you hadn't realized it while posting it.

"The more you spend time in nature learning how the world works..." to quote you again. That phrase is assuming that FuneralCry doesn't know how it works - that their naivete prevents them from seeing the beauty of it all.

Beauty or no beauty - everyone sees the world in their own way, but only the mechanics behind it are the true indicator of whether life is beneficial or not to those who possess it.

If you spend more than five minutes in nature, observing it carefully, you'll notice the carnage of existence.
A zebra, missing half of its leg, being mauled by lions as the vultures fly above, waiting for their chance to eat. And some day, those same vultures and the same lions will be on the menu for other predator, just as the zebra was.
Some poor fish is being killed from the inside, devoured slowly by parasites - or if not, a whale will open its mouth, meaning the end of the road.
Some poor raccoon has been killed by a wolf, along with their young offspring.
The list goes on and on. Forever. With each one of those experiences having a lot of meaning and significance yet, nature and existence cares not for it, at all.

Existence is, overall, a negative experience, be it on human society or in nature. And if one observes nature, truly and carefully, they won't fail to notice it.

Cheers for the comment, anyways. Sorry if I have misinterpreted anything or if I'm misguided with my comment - I just saw the praise of nature and the instincts to share a bit of my negative thoughts kicked in, :P.

EDIT:



FuneralCry has shared many times that, the thing that keeps them here on this earth is the unavailability of a safe, reliable and painless method. It's the same for me.

Even if that wasn't the reason - thinking that life is a negative may not necessarily make one to kill themselves.

"If you are scared to ctb, just do something better with your life."

I'm sorry, I just find that insulting and belittling again. You don't know FuneralCry personally. How would you know what they are doing with their life? Even if you knew, it's still insensitive to say that to someone, since your standards of what it means to do 'something with one's life' may differ from person to person.

but death, pain, and violence are also not inherently bad things. death recycles nutrients into the soil, which provides the foundations for life to grow on, neither of which are good or bad, they just are. this mindset that "because we die at the end of it, life is inherently meaningless" makes no sense to me because life isn't /supposed/ to have a meaning. we just exist and that's it. all of those examples are just animals eating, the reason we see it as more violent and cruel is because we don't usually hunt the meat we eat, so that part of the biological process is removed in our brains, but there's nothing more violent about a lion eating a zebra compared to you eating a burger (not saying this as some vegan argument btw, i'm not vegan). i feel like society puts a lot of emphasis on death and decay as these horrible taboo topics that are violent and repulsive, when in reality it's just a part of existence on this earth. if people in general got more used to the "darker" parts of life like that, maybe this website wouldn't need to exist in the first place :p

i don't mean to sound insulting to funeralcry by telling them to consider nature and stuff, i just know that the average person doesn't really consider things like this. since learning more about biology and going into nature a lot and realizing that humans are more entwined with the earth than we all even realize, i haven't even seen "the beauty of life" or anything, i guess i've just seen the reality of it and the neutrality of all of these cycles that happen. i'm just trying to refute funeralcry constantly saying that life is an inherently negative concept because death, pain, etc exist, because death and pain aren't inherently negative either.

and i don't know, i guess in my mind the thought of enduring a lot of pain that ends relatively quickly vs the seemingly constant years of suffering that funeralcry talks about, the obvious choice would just be to end it. but i guess everyone's different so i don't know.

sorry, didn't mean for this to be an essay, this is just a topic i'm really interested in. decay is a fascinating process that fuels and sustains absolutely everything on earth

 

[IDIABUSE]

Life is only beautiful if you have lots of money. With enough money you can have any future you want. All the drugs you want. Pounds of heroin and tons of hobbies and not a single wory.

The problem is that its so hard to obtain sustainable money. If minimum wage were $70 a hour with the same price of living as we have now we'd be in good shape. If disability were easier to get and paid $5000 a month I'd be in good shape. Unfortunately things are not like that.

I wouldn't ctb if I had money because money is definitely the solution to fix every single thing causing my suffering. Unfortunately money is extremely hard to get you either bust your ass to get it or beg daily the latter does not work well.



really It's just really bad parents that caused my downfall.

 

[deleted442]

Tired of this bullshit existence.

At least in the animal kingdom one animal eats another because it is hungry. Essential for life to exist even. Ok admittedly Orcas play with their food but eventually the prey gets eaten. The suffering has not been for nothing.

Humans put so much effort into keeping other humans alive. Why when we go to / and perpetuate war for monetary gain and play "god" with animals? Isn't this hypocritical nonsense?

Powerful humans perpetuate a sick game of class warfare that extends suffering for as long as possible.

In the human world the super wealthy eat the souls of those less fortunate. Is this essential? No of course not but it happens everywhere just for the "game" and the fucking fun of it. Fuck that.

And people say all lives matter. Bullshit.

Even caregivers fucking abuse their own offspring that they consciously, or perhaps unconsciously brought into the world. Something has gone seriously wrong somewhere along the line.

We're all headed to some nightmare dystopian future and yet society, for the most part, seems to kid itself we're not. Sorry if I offend anyone but in my mind, the whole fucking human existence is seriously mentally ill. And that's coming from someone diagnosed with Bipolar. It's on a scale of neuroticism and delusion that, as a species, we are invincible and will live forever.

Is it just me or are humans absolutely fucked if we continue on this abusive, exploitative, mindless trajectory?

Mindfulness is bullshit. The greater the ability to be abusive, exploitative and mindless, the more success is granted to you.

Humans are evolving into monsters. If it was anything less we would have more compassionate, caring leaders who understand we are only a tiny spec in a vast cosmic universe.