Discussion exhaustion, mental stability and doing the 'right' thing

[logi3535]

so this is going to be half discussion, half vent. I'm curious to see how many other people are in this same boat if you're still in contact with your folks, close friends, or just anyone you can rely on, I wanted to write more but I figured it was better to just ask instead.

Do you believe it's the right thing to try and change someones views? maybe not by forcing them but by... letting them see the other side of the fence? if that makes any sense? Lately I feel like I've been surrounded by friends and relatives who give off these borderline sexist views and its so infuriating trying to reason with them only for them to act like their view is some sort of objective truth that nobody is willing to admit.

It drains me so much and then I have to wonder if I should just keep my thoughts to myself and not say anything, it'd be better if i wasn't around for their sake so they didn't have to argue how they feel. I feel so stupid about it too, I guess I just want people I know to be a little more open minded and to not be so overly critical of someone just because they're a girl or a guy or whoever, but then who am I to come in and try and change their beliefs? isn't that the point of life? to live and experience it as you see it? I don't know anymore, it overwhelms me

but haha yes :) thats my mini vent out of the way, I really just wanna know how many others out there struggle with something like this, if at all, it can be from any point of view, it doesn't have to be from a specific place of thought

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

Hi, replying here...

I still keep contact with my friends and family because i live with them, but no one knows that i have depression and that i feel bad for most of the time. The few who know are only my internet friends and they are the only ones who understand how i feel because they go through the same problems...

For a long time i never had anyone to talk to about it. I kept everything to myself and didn't tell anyone else because i knew that no one would really understand how i felt and a huge amount of guilt would fall on me as if it were wrong for me to feel that way... And when i stop to think about the reasons why i feel bad, i feel like they are ridiculous or invalid in comparission to any others i've seen here on the site.

 

[logi3535]

Hi, replying here...

I still keep contact with my friends and family because i live with them, but no one knows that i have depression and that i feel bad for most of the time. The few who know are only my internet friends and they are the only ones who understand how i feel because they go through the same problems...

For a long time i never had anyone to talk to about it. I kept everything to myself and didn't tell anyone else because i knew that no one would really understand how i felt and a huge amount of guilt would fall on me as if it were wrong for me to feel that way... And when i stop to think about the reasons why i feel bad, i feel like they are ridiculous or invalid in comparission to any others i've seen here on the site.

I may not know your problems but I can still say that no problems are insignificant even when compared to others, if its something that upsets you, no matter how small or big, it should still be treated with the same empathy as other problems

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I will speak my mind if/when my close family say things I find offensive. I hope they would call me out too. My Dad can say things which are sexist, racist, fat phobic and homophobic. Which is odd because he's quite a sensitive man in other ways and, very capable of empathazing with someone.

Anyhow, in one conversation, he made a very unpleasant comment about the tennis player, Serena Williams. I don't want to repeat it even because- it shocked me. But- enough to say, she was playing some slim, petite white opponent and the comment was both racist and sexist. So- I absolutely jumped to point out how unfair it was for men in particular to rattle on about womens looks in every scenario.

I pointed out that Serena Williams has her own fashion line and there were photographs of her in a dress looking extremely attractive and feminine. I pointed out that we're not all born with petite frames, blonde hair and blue eyes.

I'm a big girl myself. Not just because I'm overweight- my fault but, I'm very broad. Even when I lost weight, I didn't have the frame to look delicate. As my Dad (clumsily) puts it- I was never going to be a Twiggy (a famous UK, very thin model,) I was always more of a 'Trunky'. And yes- that hurt! My Dad can be clumsy, although doesn't mean it maliciously.

But yeah- that alone pissed me off! Personally, I don't actually want to look all petite and feminine now but it does annoy me the way womens looks are prioritized over everything else and often, a very particular look that some of us have no hope of achieving- even if we wanted to! Not to say men don't suffer that crap too of course.

Then, I asked who won the match- Serena. She looks strong and muscular because she is! I'd say looking like an athlete and winning Wimbledon several times trumps looking feminine and delicate.

But yeah- in part, I see it as doing them a favour. They're not actually incredibly prejudiced people when you start talking to them about their ideas. I mean- they are somewhat, but, not to that extent so- I think those sorts of comments betray them. It's even worse when they say it to other people- which they have in the past and then felt awful about it. So it's like- think about the implications of what you're saying before you say it or otherwise, people are just going to think you're complete bigots!

 

[Kit1]

I don't talk about my problems or feelings to anyone from medical professionals (and I have stopped all communications with them regardless of how ill I get and this forum.

In terms of general life, I spend my life fighting unfairness as I serve people who are vulnerable and often discriminated against, volunteer with really vulnerable people who are abused but then rejected by society and those of us who are able to talk should speak up. More importantly I speak up within the younger generation as they are the future of the world.