C
circleofdepression
Member
- May 15, 2021
- 8
I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.
I feel completely destroyed by my mental health I don't even feel like myself anymore. I barely recognise myself I think my family can sense this too I can feel them moving further and further away from me. I feel so alone and hopeless I don't know where to turn. Suicide feels like my only viable option. I want the nothingness, the unconsciousness just the peace. I hope there is no afterlife.
I don't have access to my meds. I don't even have my own house key. Everything got taken away from me after my last failed attempt. This leaves me with the option of hanging myself. I just don't want my family to be the ones to find my body. Yet I can't continue living like this, it isn't even living it is just suffering.
Or do I act okay for a bit get their trust back get my house key back and then ctb.
I feel so guilty for feeling and thinking this way. I am terrible human being and a waste of space even more reason for me to ctb. There is no redemption for me, there is no medication or therapy out there. I shouldn't have been born. By ctb I am just putting a mistake right.
I feel completely destroyed by my mental health I don't even feel like myself anymore. I barely recognise myself I think my family can sense this too I can feel them moving further and further away from me. I feel so alone and hopeless I don't know where to turn. Suicide feels like my only viable option. I want the nothingness, the unconsciousness just the peace. I hope there is no afterlife.
I don't have access to my meds. I don't even have my own house key. Everything got taken away from me after my last failed attempt. This leaves me with the option of hanging myself. I just don't want my family to be the ones to find my body. Yet I can't continue living like this, it isn't even living it is just suffering.
Or do I act okay for a bit get their trust back get my house key back and then ctb.
I feel so guilty for feeling and thinking this way. I am terrible human being and a waste of space even more reason for me to ctb. There is no redemption for me, there is no medication or therapy out there. I shouldn't have been born. By ctb I am just putting a mistake right.
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