Venting Exhausted

[lithium00]

I get depressive episodes and they usually last a few weeks. I've been feeling so exhausted and tired and depressed for more than half a year now and it's not getting better. In fact it's getting worse. All I want to do is sit in my room and cry. College is usually not that hard but lately every minor inconvenience makes me break down. When someone's even a little bit rude or the slightest bit annoyed it makes me cry. I don't want to see someone. I feel like everyone hates me anyways.
The worst part about all of this is nothing even triggered it. I just felt like shit one day and it's not stopping. I feel pathetic.

I don't know how long I can take this anymore. Everything feels miserable. I feel no joy. I want to end it. I'm not going to but I have a strong desire to.

 

[LapseInTime]

The exhaustion is real.And sure enough, it is the symptom that most doctors are completely unwilling to address. How long have you been getting those depressive episodes? Eventually, after all these years, it burns you out and I too feel it. What personally kills me is this state of exhaustion coupled with anxiety - it's horrible. I'm asking -feel free not to answer if it's too much- because I notice that, in my case, it has started to set, it's always there no matter what. On a different note, have you tried putting everything at a halt? It may sound crazy but what helps me get going is the threat and feeling of absolute boredom and being alone with my own thoughts. By no means a fix, just an observation.

 

[BlackDoor]

I usually shut down until I feel open to re-engaging again, but I find I am more easily irritated when I do, setbacks hit harder and makes me want to crawl back into my hidey hole. No one else in my immediate surroundings seems to experience this, so they wouldn't know to tiptoe around my tiredness. The ones I've described it to, don't understand at all. It feels like existing while being sleep deprived for a long time, everything hits differently, more aggressively and it's just... Kind of an undesirable state of being when needing to be amongst others.

 

[lithium00]

The exhaustion is real.And sure enough, it is the symptom that most doctors are completely unwilling to address. How long have you been getting those depressive episodes? Eventually, after all these years, it burns you out and I too feel it. What personally kills me is this state of exhaustion coupled with anxiety - it's horrible. I'm asking -feel free not to answer if it's too much- because I notice that, in my case, it has started to set, it's always there no matter what. On a different note, have you tried putting everything at a halt? It may sound crazy but what helps me get going is the threat and feeling of absolute boredom and being alone with my own thoughts. By no means a fix, just an observation.

I got the diagnosis when I was 12. I was on anti depressants for a long while though. I mean I still had episodes but it was only the last 1.5-2 years without antidepressants where my episodes got way worse. So I don't know if all these episodes burn me out or if my mental health is getting worse generally.
And for putting everything at halt that's kind of complicated. I go to college and I procrastinated a lot so there's still a lot which I kind of have to do and just can't put at halt.

 

[LapseInTime]

I got the diagnosis when I was 12. I was on anti depressants for a long while though. I mean I still had episodes but it was only the last 1.5-2 years without antidepressants where my episodes got way worse. So I don't know if all these episodes burn me out or if my mental health is getting worse generally.
And for putting everything at halt that's kind of complicated. I go to college and I procrastinated a lot so there's still a lot which I kind of have to do and just can't put at halt.

That's rough, but it's true, sometimes ADs don't help, at all. You know, if it's been years, whether you're treated or not, give yourself a break, who wouldn't be tired? Did you apply for an extension/ extenuating circumstances or whatever it's called in your college?