Excuses

[Halfhourdays]

I'd use a gun but can't get one.

I'd use a rope but don't want to end up a vegetable.

I'd use SN but the DMC is down.

I'd use helium but building the device is too complicated.

I'd use charcoal but don't have enough privacy.

I'd jump but can't overcome SI.

I'd walk in front of a train but can't traumatize the passengers.

Anyone else running around in an excuse circle?

 

[JesiBel]

It's okay, there is no rush.. because it's something from which there is no turning back.

We'll all do it (ctb) someday. Take it easy, hugs to everyone.

 

[NonEssential]

All of these excuses are valid. I know I'll have to use the rope someday, but that time isn't now.

 

[Apokryphiel]

I understand. Suicide is ultimately always going to be a hard thing to overcome. Whether it be because of SI, or something else. I'm sure you will find your peace one day.

 

[TransTaxEvader]

i think it'll be harder for me to end up as a vegetable if I'm doing full suspension hanging while no one is around.

4 days for me. enjoying it while it lasts.

 

[NitrogenAfternoon]

There is never a right time for a bad thing to happen. It's not like any of us ever wanted our lives to end this way, just the suffering that came with it.

 

[FishRain3469]

More Often than not, Yes. Seems to be consuming me lately, just Too much of a fckn pussy to pull the trigger and be Done with it all. Fck, Fml.

 

[Halfhourdays]

More Often than not, Yes. Seems to be consuming me lately, just Too much of a fckn pussy to pull the trigger and be Done with it all. Fck, Fml.

Me too.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I feel this way, and sometimes it makes me wonder if I even actually want to kill myself or if I just fantasize about it as a means of escapism.

If someone dropped a shotgun or nembutal into my lap, I wonder if I would actually have the strength and courage to do it. I always wish for it, but sometimes I'm honestly not sure if I would.

 

[wham311]

Gun id fuck it up and it would hurt too much.

Sn my stomach is slow emptying, it wouldn't work and I won't be able to drink it. I also would have to spend money on a hotel room and id fail to do it, and id just waste miney. I also know id be too loud and my si is strong and id leave the hotel room

Jump I wouldn't be able to do it and I may live.

Gases I don't live by myself and would take forever to source and way too fucking complicated id fuck it up

Hanging would hurt too much and I don't want my eyes to pop out and I have nowhere to do it

Detergent would hurt too much I wouldn't be able to do it

This new whipped cream method is way too fucking complicated

Opioids don't trust quality and it makes me sick and puke and I xouldnt keep it down and it's not a reliable method


Everything that got me into this mess is keeping me from leaving it. I'm a bitch, lazy and not good at shit and need everyone else to do it for me

 

[Halfhourdays]

Gun id fuck it up and it would hurt too much.

Sn my stomach is slow emptying, it wouldn't work and I won't be able to drink it. I also would have to spend money on a hotel room and id fail to do it, and id just waste miney. I also know id be too loud and my si is strong and id leave the hotel room

Jump I wouldn't be able to do it and I may live.

Gases I don't live by myself and would take forever to source and way too fucking complicated id fuck it up

Hanging would hurt too much and I don't want my eyes to pop out and I have nowhere to do it

Detergent would hurt too much I wouldn't be able to do it

This new whipped cream method is way too fucking complicated

Opioids don't trust quality and it makes me sick and puke and I xouldnt keep it down and it's not a reliable source


Everything that got me into this mess is keeping me from leaving it. I'm a bitch, lazy and not good at shit and need everyone else to do it for me

W What new whipped cream method?

 

[wham311]

W What new whipped cream method?

Its just as difficult as the inert gas one, requires whip cream machine and 20 8g n20 cartridges, etc

 

[Halfhourdays]

Its just as difficult as the inert gas one, requires whip cream machine and 20 8g n20 cartridges, etc

Yeah, building one of those exit bags looks expensive and complicated. I wish I could make one, it looks like a good way to go.

 

[wham311]

Yeah, building one of those exit bags looks expensive and complicated. I wish I could make one, it looks like a good way to go.

Also just comes down to, do you really think you can put the bag on and keep it on

All that work

 

[Halfhourdays]

Also just comes down to, do you really think you can put the bag on and keep it on

All that work

That part I can do. It's building the thing stopping me from using this method. May as well be instructions for building a time machine.

So what's your method, then? I'm left with SN.

I'd go with detergents but can't figure out which products to buy.

 

[wham311]

That part I can do. It's building the thing stopping me from using this method. May as well be instructions for building a time machine.

So what's your method, then? I'm left with SN.

I'd go with detergents but can't figure out which products to buy.

I'm without one and I can't concentrate anymore.

Then I think"you're just being lazy, if you really wanted to you'd figure it out" but I can't

 

[opheliaoveragain]

your feelings are valid OP. the option isn't going anywhere. sometimes it takes people time to settle on a method. your brain is working the way it is possibly as a form of SI, which is biologically built in to our primal brains. we're here for you

 

[PrismHon]

I feel this way, and sometimes it makes me wonder if I even actually want to kill myself or if I just fantasize about it as a means of escapism.

If someone dropped a shotgun or nembutal into my lap, I wonder if I would actually have the strength and courage to do it. I always wish for it, but sometimes I'm honestly not sure if I would.

Can definitely relate to this. Of course I can say that putting either in front of me, I would use them no question. But if that scenario were to actually happen, would I have the balls? I like to think I would, but I unfortunately have said a lot of things I never followed through on. I really hope I will with this, at the very least.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand and I just see so much cruelty in how I'm denied the option to just cease existing in peace with no risks of suffering way more, I always suffer so much from how guaranteed, peaceful death is made inaccessible for me with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what, all I wish for is to be permanently free from this cruel, torturous existence, I just want to never suffer ever again.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I understand and I just see so much cruelty in how I'm denied the option to just cease existing in peace with no risks of suffering way more, I always suffer so much from how guaranteed, peaceful death is made inaccessible for me with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what, all I wish for is to be permanently free from this cruel, torturous existence, I just want to never suffer ever again.

Same here. But there's no "painless, 100 percent guaranteed successful" method, so it's time for me to take matters into my own hands with next steps.

But all I do is make excuses not to ctb right now instead.