Ex Thinks I'm Larping for Attention

[moggedtodeath]

I stupidly mentioned having bought SN to my ex-boyfriend as a means to explain how low I've felt since our breakup and he told me today that I am 'larping' for 'attention'. Even though I've made this account in November of 2022 and have been aware of the SN method since last year. It's always been on my mind and our breakup was the final straw. I don't know how to actually mention it to him that I'm serious about it but I think there is only one way of doing so, sadly.

Why would anyone put themselves in a position to getting a welfare check just to garner attention from someone who seemingly doesn't care? What do I even say to that? I'm so sad that it will come as a shock to him and everyone considering this is how he feels. I'm at rock bottom. I've always felt depressed and suicidal and this was just the nail in the coffin for me. I'm ready to go. I can't wait to get home to do it.

 

[アホペンギン]

This is normal, people will think like this. Even if you display so many signs that you're dead serious about your intentions they'll still doubt that you're being serious. Don't worry about it, everyone will think you're trying to get attention when you open up about suicide plans or just depression but once you're dead, it'll be too late.

 

[HAL 9000]

Everyone is faking it until there's a corpse involved. Then they act all bewildered and ask what could have been done.

 

[moggedtodeath]

Everyone is faking it until there's a corpse involved. Then they act all bewildered and ask what could have been done.

This is normal, people will think like this. Even if you display so many signs that you're dead serious about your intentions they'll still doubt that you're being serious. Don't worry about it, everyone will think you're trying to get attention when you open up about suicide plans or just depression but once you're dead, it'll be too late.

Agreed. It's my fault for even sharing such a thing, honestly. Maybe I do want attention but not in a save my life way, just opening up to people.

 

[HighFlight]

Looking at it from your ex's viewpoint, I agree with @HAL 9000 and @アホペンギン , it's easier to dismiss the statement then take it seriously.

However, some of your words make me think that you are going through with your plan as a way to prove something to them. I hope that's not the case. If you feel that ctb is your best possible future, then I wish you a peaceful journey. But please don't ctb to prove something to someone else.

 

[アホペンギン]

Agreed. It's my fault for even sharing such a thing, honestly. Maybe I do want attention but not in a save my life way, just opening up to people.

Well, yes, the possibility that you want attention could be true but maybe its just a cry for help when you're opening up to people? I mean, help is out of the question at this point because you've gone so far by buying SN but maybe its because you didn't get adequate help all these years so now you're saying something? I'm not sure, im not a psychologist, lol.

 

[HAL 9000]

Agreed. It's my fault for even sharing such a thing, honestly. Maybe I do want attention but not in a save my life way, just opening up to people.

Even so he's still out of pocket for saying that bullshit. If you had mentioned ctb in general that might be different, but you brought up a specific method and you were met with incredulity instead of compassion.

 

[moggedtodeath]

Looking at it from your ex's viewpoint, I agree with @HAL 9000 and @アホペンギン , it's easier to dismiss the statement then take it seriously.

However, some of your words make me think that you are going through with your plan as a way to prove something to them. I hope that's not the case. If you feel that ctb is your best possible future, then I wish you a peaceful journey. But please don't ctb to prove something to someone else.

Absolutely not. I've been thinking about this for almost a year now and I feel I have been holding out hope and kicking the can down the road and I'm all out of road left. Breakup was just the end of the road for me. I tried doing what I could. But I don't care if they don't believe me, honestly. They obviously will eventually. It's nothing to get back at them and I care for them deeply and hope this doesn't hurt them that much.

 

[アホペンギン]

Looking at it from your ex's viewpoint, I agree with @HAL 9000 and @アホペンギン , it's easier to dismiss the statement then take it seriously.

However, some of your words make me think that you are going through with your plan as a way to prove something to them. I hope that's not the case. If you feel that ctb is your best possible future, then I wish you a peaceful journey. But please don't ctb to prove something to someone else.

Yes telling people about your intentions could also be a way to prove to them that you were telling the truth all these years but most people don't get it. They still think as they did years ago. Lots of people can't be convinced of something until they see visual evidence.

And true, @moggedtodeath shouldn't ctb to prove anything to anyone, you're very right about this. Its just about doing what your soul wishes, nothing more.

 

[moggedtodeath]

Even so he's still out of pocket for saying that bullshit. If you had mentioned ctb in general that might be different, but you brought up a specific method and you were met with incredulity instead of compassion.

Right. It's a well thought out plan even. Not just downing Tylenol or something impulsive. They probably don't believe me because they themselves could never bring themselves to do this.

Yes telling people about your intentions could also be a way to prove to them that you were telling the truth all these years but most people don't get it. They still think as they did years ago. Lots of people can't be convinced of something until they see visual evidence.

And true, @moggedtodeath shouldn't ctb to prove anything to anyone, you're very right about this. Its just about doing what your soul wishes, nothing more.

This is something my soul wants for a while now and I honestly just feel like I just have to and I don't really have a choice. I just don't have much to live for anymore and things just keep getting worse. I guess it's not really a hard concept to understand.

 

[アホペンギン]

This is something my soul wants for a while now and I honestly just feel like I just have to and I don't really have a choice. I just don't have much to live for anymore and things just keep getting worse. I guess it's not really a hard concept to understand.

Yeah but people always deny that maybe its what we want and have wanted for a long time and not what they want for us. Thats why lots of people doubt that we're serious about ctb.

 

[HighFlight]

Absolutely not.

This is something my soul wants for a while now and I honestly just feel like I just have to and I don't really have a choice.

I'm relieved to hear that. I'm sorry that life has brought you to this point, and truly wish that everything goes as you hope. And it doesn't matter what your ex thinks - that's his problem, not yours. You should focus on yourself and finding your own peace.

 

[HAL 9000]

Right. It's a well thought out plan even. Not just downing Tylenol or something impulsive. They probably don't believe me because they themselves could never bring themselves to do this.

I think most people accuse others of faking it in order to salvage their own hearts. The harsh reality is too much to take so they say you're faking or that ctb would be indicative of selfishness to avoid feelings of potential guilt. Other people just don't want to say goodbye.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

My mom pulled the same thing after my second attempt. I asked for help before my third attempt, and she said I'm just doing this as a cry for help. It's easy for people on the outside to diminish what you're going through in order for them to digest it.

Nobody knows what's going on inside your head but you. So even if you tell someone what's going on they won't fully understand. You opened up and even if you wanted your ex to save you or just understand how far you've fallen it didn't change anything. Even if you put a gun in your mouth in front of your ex it would probably be seen as wanting attention right up until you pull the trigger.

Sadly this is probably the only place you can be open about your feelings and intentions. The only place where people understand what you're feeling and will support you no matter what. This is our only safe place to be truly open.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Everyone is faking it until there's a corpse involved. Then they act all bewildered and ask what could have been done.

Then they'll ask themselves "why didn't they see it" or "why didn't they say anything" but they DID however most people are simply apathetic and un bothered until a corpse shows up