Minudah
Stupid
- Dec 3, 2018
- 1,355
I've never liked anything, I always tried to make myself like things and it didn't work. I told myself I could like music and be straight if I really tried, I tried to like other things. Sometimes just learned to associate things with happiness so I could learn what it's like to feel happy, and ended up "liking" incredibly stupid things.
I love my dogs and Judaism, but nothing gives me joy or ever has. I always played video games and tried to fit in with other gamers, but the truth is that I just see video games as a distraction and something to do. I always tried to force myself to feel joy, but always trying to be everything I'm not and having no one to help. Everyone wants to push me down. I don't know what to ever do anymore and everything makes less sense. Up is down, left is up, and I'm always wrong no matter what. My first instinct is wrong, but going with the polar opposite is even worse. Everything I just at random now and I don't remember how to not.
I hate the experiment and never consented to it. There's nothing good about being here
I love my dogs and Judaism, but nothing gives me joy or ever has. I always played video games and tried to fit in with other gamers, but the truth is that I just see video games as a distraction and something to do. I always tried to force myself to feel joy, but always trying to be everything I'm not and having no one to help. Everyone wants to push me down. I don't know what to ever do anymore and everything makes less sense. Up is down, left is up, and I'm always wrong no matter what. My first instinct is wrong, but going with the polar opposite is even worse. Everything I just at random now and I don't remember how to not.
I hate the experiment and never consented to it. There's nothing good about being here
