Venting Everything is going so wrong (thoughts dump)

[Qua]

My family changed like 3.5 years ago and it was supposed to be fine, so why am I just getting worse? Everything is getting worse, the family that I have right now makes ebeurbitng so painful all I want is to die but I can't because of my mother, I can't leave her. The pain inside me is unbearable, why did I have to grow up when at a young age, why did I have to take the role of the fucking adult that couldn't take proper actions? Why is everything going so wrong when it was supposed to be so right. I can't stop fucking sobbing, I wanna scream, I wanna destroy my body, I wanna end it all but I can't do any of these because I can't do this to my mom. I can't take it, I cannot, I can't I can't I can't i cant i cant i cant o cant o cant o can't i cant i na xomatnomai xoxant i cant i cant i cant o a to dkqmot

 

[Sleeper System]

I understand how you feel. I'm trying my best myself to keep it together for the sake of my others as well.
Sometimes, I wish there was a machine that could allow people to briefly feel what we feel.
Just so they could understand the suffering that we're holding on to. How many would give us their blessing to ctb if they only understood. But then they would know the hurt. And that would be a tragic after effect.