Everything in my life is in utter shambles. What kind of future can I have at this point?

[56709]

Absolutely everything in my life is shambles now...
My health is beyond awful. I have broken teeth. My posture is getting worse by the day and my skin is unbelievably bad: I have keratosis pilaris and stretch marks to an extreme degree. I am overweight. I have several literal deformities that you would probably have to see to fully appreciate...
I have a rare condition that effects my vision as well... Visual snow syndrome...

My mental health is probably beyond repair at this point, but this is the least of my issues.

I have spent the last 7 years as a burden on my family and barely even contributing to the online communities that I have spent the majority of my time browsing...
The only thing keeping me from homelessness or death is the kindness of my family, I wouldn't even have this computer had I not been given it TBH.

All this at the age of 22, with no degrees or certifications and no romantic experience.

I am now forced to come to terms with everything, try to determine what exactly is wrong with me and how I can proceed.

 

[Empty Smile]

Sorry you're going through a lot.

I honest don't even know how to reply to this. All I know is it sucks you had to come here to seek relief.

Just know we are all here for you.

 

[pole]

sorry you're at rock-bottom. it's extremely hard to pick yourself up from the bottom and climb to somewhere you want to be. we can't see this "somewhere" when were at the bottom, and it's hard to imagine a future, let alone having motivation for getting and wanting to get better when were at this low point in our life.

it starts with wanting to get better, finding an outlet to get achieve this energy and motivation to do things that comes from a handful of things and its different for everyone, and setting goals and seeing this "future". having a clear path and road to where and who you want to be is a future that you could have at any point, if you truly want that for yourself.

the question is where you get the will to want to do such things for yourself. and that's truly up to you; if you want to get better, give recovery a chance or settle and come to terms with reality.

hope you find peace.

 

[56709]

sorry you're at rock-bottom. it's extremely hard to pick yourself up from the bottom and climb to somewhere you want to be. we can't see this "somewhere" when were at the bottom, and it's hard to imagine a future, let alone having motivation for getting and wanting to get better when were at this low point in our life.

it starts with wanting to get better, finding an outlet to get achieve this energy and motivation to do things that comes from a handful of things and its different for everyone, and setting goals and seeing this "future". having a clear path and road to where and who you want to be is a future that you could have at any point, if you truly want that for yourself.

the question is where you get the will to want to do such things for yourself. and that's truly up to you; if you want to get better, give recovery a chance or settle and come to terms with reality.

hope you find peace.

I am thinking of giving up on school to be quite honest. If I were 18 or even 20 this wouldn't feel so daunting but at the age that most graduates are already out, devoting so much time and effort to something that may not even benefit me(when I don't have that clear of a vision for my career path, and I am deeply ashamed of this). Just feels beyond pathetic.
I don't know what I was thinking, it feels like I have been in a haze for so long and the time and opportunities just slipped right past me while I wasted time with things that had no lasting value.

 

[pole]

I am thinking of giving up on school to be quite honest. If I were 18 or even 20 this wouldn't feel so daunting but at the age that most graduates are already out, devoting so much time and effort to something that may not even benefit me(when I don't have that clear of a vision for my career path, and I am deeply ashamed of this). Just feels beyond pathetic.
I don't know what I was thinking, it feels like I have been in a haze for so long and the time and opportunities just slipped right past me while I wasted time with things that had no lasting value.

schools been a pain in the ass this year and iv thought a ton about wanting to drop out because of my mental health.

everyone has different routes to where they get to in life. there's a ton of people who don't go to school and get somewhere in life, and those who chose to go to school and go somewhere. Its just up to you if you want to AND IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Im struggling but trying to handle school right now, if i had the opportunity id take some sort of break but i cant. If you feel as if its too much on you and has a significant impact on you're mental and physical state and well-being, hold off on it and give something else you desire a chance.

also, don't get discouraged about age. you're 22, there's so many people in their early, mid, and late 20s, even 30s and 40s in school. i have tons of people in my program way older than me (19). dont ever feel discouraged because the norm may seem that you're suppose to be done by 21 or something. everyone has their own time and path in doing things in life, even if it seems slower or faster than others, it gets you where you want to be in the end so what's the difference honestly? its just about if you can handle it alongside what you're going through in life outside of school as well.

 

[56709]

schools been a pain in the ass this year and iv thought a ton about wanting to drop out because of my mental health.

everyone has different routes to where they get to in life. there's a ton of people who don't go to school and get somewhere in life, and those who chose to go to school and go somewhere. Its just up to you if you want to AND IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Im struggling but trying to handle school right now, if i had the opportunity id take some sort of break but i cant. If you feel as if its too much on you and has a significant impact on you're mental and physical state and well-being, hold off on it and give something else you desire a chance.

also, don't get discouraged about age. you're 22, there's so many people in their early, mid, and late 20s, even 30s and 40s in school. i have tons of people in my program way older than me (19). dont ever feel discouraged because the norm may seem that you're suppose to be done by 21 or something. everyone has their own time and path in doing things in life, even if it seems slower or faster than others, it gets you where you want to be in the end so what's the difference honestly? its just about if you can handle it alongside what you're going through in life outside of school as well.

I will always feel like a complete loser and failure, trailing behind everyone else.
Maybe those people went back later in life but they probably have families, jobs, even businesses.
I am a complete do-nothing and have-nothing as it stands and it feels so comical trying to get things going at this age.

I don't know when I'll work again and am apparently too low IQ to figure out how to get by...

 

[Fragile]

hey, i can relate to a lot of what's making you feel so terrible, i have similar health issues because a conjunctive tissue disorder.

all that i can say is, this life is very unfair for people born differently, and your pain is valid, and so is your choice on what to do with it. either ending it or seeking help to improve what little you can, that's entirely up to you.

i'm struggling to even get diagnosed to see if i can do anything about it, but there is always the relief that even if i can do nothing and life will get inevitably worse, i can always end it myself and spare me from the suffering, so until i get an ultimatum, i'm still holding on for my family.

and regardless, death is inevitable anyway, i tell that to myself when i'm feeling down, it doesn't matter if i don't get to live a good life, all of this pain will be gone once i'm no longer here.

 

[pole]

I will always feel like a complete loser and failure, trailing behind everyone else.
Maybe those people went back later in life but they probably have families, jobs, even businesses.
I am a complete do-nothing and have-nothing as it stands and it feels so comical trying to get things going at this age.

I don't know when I'll work again and am apparently too low IQ to figure out how to get by...

no, there just 20 year olds, regular 20 year olds just taking 5th, 6th plus more years in school for increasing their gpa. alot of people do it, its completely normal especially if you have a set goal. For ex, ill definitely be in school still arounf 21 and 22 either in extra year or if i get into law school. some people stay in teachers college and school as a whole FOR YEARS in their 20s.

perhaps placing a goal in mind, what you want to do through schooling and how. And if you dont want to, accepting THATS COMPLETELY FINE and doing something else for now that you desire.

lastly, just wanna ask you this. are you low-iq or intelligent because of how you feel about yourself or about how others have felt about you? aka, others telling you you're low-iq or making you feel too stupid to do school?

 

[56709]

no, there just 20 year olds, regular 20 year olds just taking 5th, 6th plus more years in school for increasing their gpa. alot of people do it, its completely normal especially if you have a set goal. For ex, ill definitely be in school still arounf 21 and 22 either in extra year or if i get into law school. some people stay in teachers college and school as a whole FOR YEARS in their 20s.

perhaps placing a goal in mind, what you want to do through schooling and how. And if you dont want to, accepting THATS COMPLETELY FINE and doing something else for now that you desire.

lastly, just wanna ask you this. are you low-iq or intelligent because of how you feel about yourself or about how others have felt about you? aka, others telling you you're low-iq or making you feel too stupid to do school?

Growing up people actually gave me too much credit in the past intellect-wise because I was academically gifted early on but I clearly had immense mental health problems and deficits that were never properly addressed. I was not equipped to explain myself when I was younger to therapists or counselors.
When I call myself low-IQ I actually mean that I'm deficient in self-motivation and focus or something.

I may never fully understand why I turned out this way.

 

[pole]

My family, people who supervised me, and my peers actually gave me too much credit in the past intellect-wise because I was academically gifted EARLY ON but there were clearly immense mental health problems and deficits that were never properly addressed.
When I say low-IQ I don't mean low-IQ but instead something like deficit in motivation and mental energy.

ohh, i can definitely relate. my entire life, i feel like i've been intelligent but it didnt show in grades. My entire schooling life, my parents blamed me in being just a lazy dumb child, who just doesnt wanna do good in school and life because their lazy and unmotivated. And blamed it on friends, lifestyle, games, anything. there traditional parents so they blamed me heavily.

turns out last month, i wanted to take charge and find out WHY i felt like this all my life. i was diagnosed with ADD last year, literally at 19 lmao. and the doctor was like why the hell didnt you get tested earlier in life. my parents always blamed me for me feeling this way, but not anything influencing me like health wise. they fail to understand my ADD and mental health that makes me feel this way.

i feel like you can turn things around, and succeed in school. its just not as easy as it seems and you just gotta really create a plan and abide by it while trying to manage what you're going through on the inside.