Venting Everything feels like shit

[soulkitty]

Why does everyday feel awful and colorless and horrible. I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm tired of struggling just to be happy for a single moment in a day. I just want to be happy and feel warmth and well and I do sometimes but it feels like those moments fade away so fast. I always self sabotage when it comes to friendships and it makes me feel like I shouldn't have any. I don't know. I just want to be a toddler again watching my favorite cartoons and just not having to think about all of these horrible things and not having my innocence be ruined yet. I just want to feel joyful see color everywhere I go no t have 80% days I feel like absolute shit. This is so unfair and awful. Why do I have to struggle so fucking much just to stay alive

 

[Killua200]

It sounds like you are struggling with some pretty negative feelings overall. I wonder if part of your problem might have something to do with focusing too much on these negative aspects of life, to the point where you lose sight of any of the positives?

And it's understandable to want to go back to the carefree days of childhood, when the only concerns were which TV shows to watch and which toys to play with. However, it's important to remember that life isn't meant to be perfect, and there will always be good times and bad times

 

[theboy]

Oh, so bad. Life is sometimes very unfair

 

[Mi Mi]

Why does everyday feel awful and colorless and horrible. I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm tired of struggling just to be happy for a single moment in a day. I just want to be happy and feel warmth and well and I do sometimes but it feels like those moments fade away so fast. I always self sabotage when it comes to friendships and it makes me feel like I shouldn't have any. I don't know. I just want to be a toddler again watching my favorite cartoons and just not having to think about all of these horrible things and not having my innocence be ruined yet. I just want to feel joyful see color everywhere I go no t have 80% days I feel like absolute shit. This is so unfair and awful. Why do I have to struggle so fucking much just to stay alive

I was just thinking how I've never really known joy.
That's a big reason I'm leaving.
I want that joy and warmth that wasn't here for me.
I hope you find your way.

 

[floating_cloud]

Yeah shit fucking sucks when you can't even find one thing that keeps you happy

Life is unfair in a lot of ways one of them is giving happiness and joy to others while not giving any to some

Hope you find something one day something that can bring warmth back to your life

 

[R_N]

I just want to be happy and feel warmth and well and I do sometimes but it feels like those moments fade away so fast.

I think this is more common than you think. Like people being miserable at their job and indulging in various activities later in an attempt to patch themselves up. It makes you wonder, about our fleeting lives and what we are really chasing until death sweeps us all away.

 

[set0553]

It sounds like you are struggling with some pretty negative feelings overall. I wonder if part of your problem might have something to do with focusing too much on these negative aspects of life, to the point where you lose sight of any of the positives?

And it's understandable to want to go back to the carefree days of childhood, when the only concerns were which TV shows to watch and which toys to play with. However, it's important to remember that life isn't meant to be perfect, and there will always be good times and bad times

I really like this. Yeah, I think its really important to enjoy and hold onto the good times in life, cuz that's what helps to get through the bad times. Even just wildflowers in a field, the singing of birds etc can all be a peaceful happy moment, so when the misanthropy returns, I can remember those moments.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Why does everyday feel awful and colorless and horrible. I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm tired of struggling just to be happy for a single moment in a day. I just want to be happy and feel warmth and well and I do sometimes but it feels like those moments fade away so fast. I always self sabotage when it comes to friendships and it makes me feel like I shouldn't have any. I don't know. I just want to be a toddler again watching my favorite cartoons and just not having to think about all of these horrible things and not having my innocence be ruined yet. I just want to feel joyful see color everywhere I go no t have 80% days I feel like absolute shit. This is so unfair and awful. Why do I have to struggle so fucking much just to stay alive

I can relate to this deeply as i am currently viewing life in a pessimistic way to where im blinded by just my thoughts and make me feel like i dont deserve any happiness