EVERYONE keeps telling me to take medication. That it will help.

[Zzzzz]

But I know they won't help in any significant manner. I know that my depression is not caused by the chemical imbalance that anti depressants are designed to treat. My depression is more of a psychological response to all the pain,suffering ,trauma and grief I've had in life. Anti-depressants may very well help many people, but they were made with the idea that depression is irrational and nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain. My Depression is different. I've never reallydone hard drugs or alcohol in life, nor smoking. But I know that morphine would probably help me feel like life isn't so bad. there's a stigma against certain kinds of drugs, but there shouldn't be imo. If taking drugs will keep someone from feeling suicidal 24/7 that is better than someone killing themselves. It would be a good thing for Me to have morphine every day. The kind of suffering I feel is unbearable.

 

[_Minsk]

But I know they won't help in any significant manner. I know that my depression is not caused by the chemical imbalance that anti depressants are designed to treat. My depression is more of a psychological response to all the pain,suffering ,trauma and grief I've had in life. Anti-depressants may very well help many people, but they were made with the idea that depression is irrational and nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain.

I think the same way, im sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Florentine]

I feel the same way. How can you keep picking yourself back up, carrying on, being what is expected of a life that has beaten you into submission.

 

[OrcWitch]

I listened to a Dr. K lecture where he talked about the dangers of calling all suicidality the product of chemical imbalance. He said there are 2 reasons for suicide, one being chemical imbalance and the other being based on circumstances of someone's life.

There are too many people who are not helped by anti depressants.

 

[downndone2]

I had so much shit go down a few years ago, like decisions that ruined my life. I've been on several antidepressants and I still want to mor wake up every morning. Some have even made me feel more anxious and suicidal. Some people really report a difference. The one thing I havent tried is Ketamine, it usually does pretty well at helping with SI. It is usually hard to get insurance to cover the treatments though.

 

[onleana]

i feel similar to you. in my case my doc just keeps increasing doses of my anti depressants to cure my 'suicidal thoughts' and obviously that doesnt work. i wouldn't say i have 'suicidal thoughts', im just suicidal. suicide is a rational decision that i have made. even if they stuffed me with drugs i won't change my mind. i am going to kill myself and no meds will prevent that. sending you hugs friend

 

[Looooser]

But I know they won't help in any significant manner. I know that my depression is not caused by the chemical imbalance that anti depressants are designed to treat. My depression is more of a psychological response to all the pain,suffering ,trauma and grief I've had in life. Anti-depressants may very well help many people, but they were made with the idea that depression is irrational and nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain. My Depression is different. I've never reallydone hard drugs or alcohol in life, nor smoking. But I know that morphine would probably help me feel like life isn't so bad. there's a stigma against certain kinds of drugs, but there shouldn't be imo. If taking drugs will keep someone from feeling suicidal 24/7 that is better than someone killing themselves. It would be a good thing for Me to have morphine every day. The kind of suffering I feel is unbearable.

Oregon just legalized psychedelic mushrooms for depression but my insurance won't cover it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that in a life as horrible as this wanting to die can be perfectly rational. In my case, for me personally it makes sense to want to escape from decades of suffering. I'm sorry you are going through this, this life can be painful and dreadful. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best.

 

[Darkover]

anti depressants have never worked for me like prozac, amitriptyline, however Antipsychotic medication has helped a bit olanzapine being one of them, currently living with a brain injury i can't function without flupentixol without it i am bed bound its also good for depression.

 

[JinZhin]

I've been seeing your posts and I can conclude that you're currently struggling with very bad circumstances.

Depression is in many cases not just a chemical imbalance in the brain, but the result of pulling through terrible existence and having to deal with too much.
Taking some pills most likely won't solve anything that is true cause of one's depression, like yes, you get some *happy chemicals* in your brain, but the world is still a terrible place and you're still in your own skin.
YES, maybe getting on medication helps, but I find that it's ignorant to always push for medicating and sedating ourselves out of our own minds, I don't know.

Personally, I think psychiatry is a joke in 90% of cases, now I only see my psychiatrist ad my drug dealer and I made peace with it.
One thing to be aware of is that only if certain drug is prescribed it does not mean it's harmless and most of them are prescribed completely nonsensically.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

If life is garbage you're not supposed to be happy or content with it. Depression is a normal response to an awful life, and medication doesn't fix that. You said taking morphine every day would help you get through day-to-day life, right? Theres a massive amount of people that only get through life by being absolutely zonked on psychotropics. That is a massive problem.

 

[someonelse]

I hear you and I'm sorry for your pain. I've been on anti depressants for years but had to come off them because im bipolar. My psych took me off them because she thought they caused me to go manic. So now I'm trying to get by without them which has been harder than I imagined. I never felt like they really worked anyway but they were better than nothing.

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

But I know they won't help in any significant manner. I know that my depression is not caused by the chemical imbalance that anti depressants are designed to treat. My depression is more of a psychological response to all the pain,suffering ,trauma and grief I've had in life. Anti-depressants may very well help many people, but they were made with the idea that depression is irrational and nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain. My Depression is different. I've never reallydone hard drugs or alcohol in life, nor smoking. But I know that morphine would probably help me feel like life isn't so bad. there's a stigma against certain kinds of drugs, but there shouldn't be imo. If taking drugs will keep someone from feeling suicidal 24/7 that is better than someone killing themselves. It would be a good thing for Me to have morphine every day. The kind of suffering I feel is unbearable.

This _really_ sounds like something psilocybin or LSD treatments would help with. My first session was like years worth of therapy in just a few hours. I never did the lab type of treatment, because it wasn't available to me. I went to a retreat in Jamaica. The one I went to was https://www.mycomeditations.com/, it's basically group therapy with mushrooms. You do your own trip (with a blindfold, that part is important), but then the next day you talk about it with other people. I highly recommend it. The only bad thing about it is the cost.

Edit: Wow I just looked at the cost. A few years ago I think I paid about $3,600 for the "comfort" retreat (e.g. they have air conditioning). Now, I see they say it's $8,000 for the comfort (and $5,550 for basic). That sounds nuts to me. Not sure if you can get your hands on some where you are. Depending on where you live, you may be able to get yourself some spores and grow your own. You technically could do it yourself but I highly recommend having an experienced "sitter" for the first one.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Actually, they might work. They might not.

Anyone who tells you they are the answer is lying. They are not. But sometimes they help.

The only way to know is to try. I'm not saying that you should, only that you cannot know how they will effect you until you try.

Even if your issues stem from your environment, sometimes meds can help get you to a place where you can actually work on stuff. Not just work on it, but make some headway into what's going on. That's why it's important to combine them with therapy.

Also, just so you know, the chemical imbalance thing? That's not real. It's a theory that some researchers came up with to explain why antidepressants work for some people. It's been disproved a lot. Nobody really knows how most psych meds work.

 

[Looooser]

This _really_ sounds like something psilocybin or LSD treatments would help with. My first session was like years worth of therapy in just a few hours. I never did the lab type of treatment, because it wasn't available to me. I went to a retreat in Jamaica. The one I went to was https://www.mycomeditations.com/, it's basically group therapy with mushrooms. You do your own trip (with a blindfold, that part is important), but then the next day you talk about it with other people. I highly recommend it. The only bad thing about it is the cost.

Edit: Wow I just looked at the cost. A few years ago I think I paid about $3,600 for the "comfort" retreat (e.g. they have air conditioning). Now, I see they say it's $8,000 for the comfort (and $5,550 for basic). That sounds nuts to me. Not sure if you can get your hands on some where you are. Depending on where you live, you may be able to get yourself some spores and grow your own. You technically could do it yourself but I highly recommend having an experienced "sitter" for the first one.

I was always told you could buy spores online legally but selling the mushroom was illegal in the US. I'm too chicken shit to do it because I know the feds will probably end up knocking my door down. Or they'd all end up dying anyway.

 

[Zzzzz]

Actually, they might work. They might not.

Anyone who tells you they are the answer is lying. They are not. But sometimes they help.

The only way to know is to try. I'm not saying that you should, only that you cannot know how they will effect you until you try.

Even if your issues stem from your environment, sometimes meds can help get you to a place where you can actually work on stuff. Not just work on it, but make some headway into what's going on. That's why it's important to combine them with therapy.

Also, just so you know, the chemical imbalance thing? That's not real. It's a theory that some researchers came up with to explain why antidepressants work for some people. It's been disproved a lot. Nobody really knows how most psych meds work.

I have tried them before. I won't try hundreds of meds when their function is all very similar. Painkillers actually make me feel good. (Obviously) they give a pleasurable feeling. Society says think positive(the purpose of therapy, conformity, thought control) and take these prescriptions and all your problems will go away, or at least be considerably reduced.

 

[hans0solo]

But I know they won't help in any significant manner. I know that my depression is not caused by the chemical imbalance that anti depressants are designed to treat. My depression is more of a psychological response to all the pain,suffering ,trauma and grief I've had in life. Anti-depressants may very well help many people, but they were made with the idea that depression is irrational and nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain. My Depression is different. I've never reallydone hard drugs or alcohol in life, nor smoking. But I know that morphine would probably help me feel like life isn't so bad. there's a stigma against certain kinds of drugs, but there shouldn't be imo. If taking drugs will keep someone from feeling suicidal 24/7 that is better than someone killing themselves. It would be a good thing for Me to have morphine every day. The kind of suffering I feel is unbearable.

the whole chemical thing is at best an oversimplification. one idea was this: "The interpersonal theory of suicide attempts to explain why individuals engage in suicidal behavior and to identify individuals who are at risk. It was developed by Thomas Joiner and is outlined in Why People Die By Suicide.[1]​ The theory consists of three components that together lead to suicide attempts. According to the theory, the simultaneous presence of thwarted belongingness and perceived burdensomeness produce the desire for suicide. While the desire for suicide is necessary, it alone will not result in death by suicide. Rather, Joiner asserts that one must also have acquired capability (that is, the acquired ability) to overcome one's natural fear of death."
It means there has been a lot of shit that has happened and it may be still happening. if you live with shitty people, you feel like shit in most cases. if you lived with people who were nice and gave you lots of money, you'd feel much better in most cases. but you can also deal with past trauma that you deal with every waking moment.
Only you know if these feeling are about a horrible past, a horrible now or a horrible future.
numbing your pain doesn't do much to heal. finding a way to process pain helps. that requires finding a person like a therapist or trusted friend. Or maybe a nice pet. some might try the psychedelics route.

 

[brainpain2]

They don't change your life circumstance. I'm on every psych med in the book. My life sucks.

Morphine will just make you constipated and feel worse when you get low and you withdraw.

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

I have tried them before. I won't try hundreds of meds when their function is all very similar. Painkillers actually make me feel good. (Obviously) they give a pleasurable feeling. Society says think positive(the purpose of therapy, conformity, thought control) and take these prescriptions and all your problems will go away, or at least be considerably reduced.

How strong of a dose do you need of opiods to feel good? For me, they help my mood best at a low to medium dose. Have you ever experimented with kratom? Many places you can get that OTC. Kratom attaches to the opiod receptors as well. Personally, I get a similar feeling with kratom as a low dose of opiod pain pills. Kratom also hits some other receptors (serotonin, I think), so it doesn't feel exactly the same. Sometimes kratom actually feels better than the pain pills, probably because of that serotonin action. I still take kratom often. The problem with it is consistency and tolerance. Apparently if you rotate different strains, that is supposed to help tolerance. The one that makes me feel the best (red bentuangie) I have to leave at least a 3 day gap between doses, or the next dose will make me feel terrible. Other ones I can take more often (red sumatra, red kapuas). I'm not sure why, but often if I take it multiple days in a row, it will make me feel bad. I've probably spent around USD$1,000 trying out lots and lots of different types of kratom (there are many), to see if I could figure it out. Some feel similar but they vary quite a bit. So if you tried some and didn't like it, quite possibly others you would like. Anyway if you want to give it a shot you might find a place that does samplers (like https://mitragaia.com/product/gaia-welcome-sampler/) so you can get a little of a lot. If you want something that feels close to opiod pain pills, I'd stick to the red. The other white and green ones are more stimulating and don't feel at all like the pills. Another annoying thing with kratom is figuring out the dosage. Unlike opiod pain pills, taking more doesn't necessarily increase the strength of the feeling, it changes it. Often if you take a low dose it will be stimulating, and a high dose will be sedating. For me, if I take too much it makes me feel like shit. But taking the "right" dose sometimes makes me feel amazing.

I've looked around a lot to see if there is any other non-prescription thing that hits the opiod receptors but I couldn't find anything. Interestingly, there is an opiod based antidepressant (Tianeptine), but it's not available in the US. If anyone knows of anything else OTC that hits those receptors, let me know. I would love to experiment with it.