Venting "Everyone is creative" and other lies that artists tell the world

[borderline-feline]

I understand why artists say that creating is about skill and hard work instead of talent, but the claim itself is largely untrue. Getting better takes hard work, but creativity isn't some innate thing that exists in all humans, nor is it something that can be created within a person; it's something that the majority don't have access to.

I've tried to give up trying to do creative things, because I have no creativity, but whenever I ask people for advice on how to give up on art, they respond with repeated denials of reality. The people who can create refuse to believe that it's a rare thing to be able to do and that most people aren't capable of creating.

They say that talent doesn't exist because they feel that acknowledging the fact that they can do things that most people could never be capable of is difficult and because they incorrectly assume that the concept of innate talent implies that they haven't worked hard. Creativity is something that you're either born with or born without. It cannot be created within a person, and the majority of people lack creativity and artistic aptitude.

When I tried to learn to draw, I was told by my favorite person and his sister that I should start by tracing. When I showed them both something that I'd traced, my favorite person's sister said "I think we have an extremely promising young artist on our hands!!!" That claim is still painful to think about. Being capable of tracing, which is something that anyone can do, doesn't indicate that someone will ever have the ability to draw anything.

Whenever I talk about wanting to completely give up on any creative endeavors, I always end up with smug artists gaslighting me. They tell me that everyone has innate creativity and that I need to keep trying or that I just need to try a different medium. They can't seem to comprehend the idea that they're not looking at the world realistically.

I've posted here about wanting to give up on anything creative because trying to be creative when you have no creativity is a form of self-harm. I still have yet to find anyone whose had an idea on how to give up on this stuff. I've googled it (because I hate myself), and all the responses to people wanting to give up are the same things: people telling them not to give up.

I think it's kind of a microcosm of the human experience in a way. Giving up on art could be considered analogous to catching the bus. People have the same kinds of mentalities when it comes to these things and put what they want over what we need. Furthering the analogy, I enjoy tracing things, even though I would never be able to learn to draw. I would view that as being like my fantasy of living as my favorite person's pet, no longer existing as a human.

A good example of how trying to be creative is a very serious and damaging form of self-harm to me is my lack of financial stability. Last year, I spent $400 on a drawing tablet with a screen because I wanted to learn to draw. This was the most irresponsible purchase I've made in my life. I made that stupid, impulsive decision because I was having an impulsive BPD episode. Think of it like a manic episode in someone with bipolar disorder, but it goes on for much less time, usually an hour or two.

I tried getting people to reinforce reality and tell me that I'm incompetent, that I'll never be capable of learning to draw, that I have no creativity, because I need other people to be able to do things. I couldn't bring myself to return the tablet without that reality being reinforced because a part of me is addicted to self-harm.

Time went on, and no one was willing to do what needed to be done, and now I'm stuck with an expensive drawing tablet that I can't get rid of. I still want to get rid of it, but I can't, so I'm just using it to trace images that I like since it's soothing to me. In a way, tracing is also harmful to me because it stimulates the part of my brain that wants to learn to draw, which is the part of my brain that's addicted to self-harm. I wish I could just kill that part of my brain.

If I had my way, then I'd get lobotomized and have my amygdala removed so that I can function as nothing but property, which is the only type of role that I'm capable of fulfilling in life.

I also want to mention that I'm aware that the idea of having part of my brain removed to get rid of my intense emotions is the epitome of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but I don't see anything wrong with that. I'd rather overdo it than underdo it.

EDIT: I take back what I said about enjoying tracing. It just serves as a reminder of what I'll never be able to do. I just wanna get rid of this stupid fucking tablet.

 

[TAW122]

I understand why artists say that creating is about skill and hard work instead of talent, but the claim itself is largely untrue. Getting better takes hard work, but creativity isn't some innate thing that exists in all humans, nor is it something that can be created within a person; it's something that the majority don't have access to.

I've tried to give up trying to do creative things, because I have no creativity, but whenever I ask people for advice on how to give up on art, they respond with repeated denials of reality. The people who can create refuse to believe that it's a rare thing to be able to do and that most people aren't capable of creating.

They say that talent doesn't exist because they feel that acknowledging the fact that they can do things that most people could never be capable of is difficult and because they incorrectly assume that the concept of innate talent implies that they haven't worked hard. Creativity is something that you're either born with or born without. It cannot be created within a person, and the majority of people lack creativity and artistic aptitude.

When I tried to learn to draw, I was told by my favorite person and his sister that I should start by tracing. When I showed them both something that I'd traced, my favorite person's sister said "I think we have an extremely promising young artist on our hands!!!" That claim is still painful to think about. Being capable of tracing, which is something that anyone can do, doesn't indicate that someone will ever have the ability to draw anything.

Whenever I talk about wanting to completely give up on any creative endeavors, I always end up with smug artists gaslighting me. They tell me that everyone has innate creativity and that I need to keep trying or that I just need to try a different medium. They can't seem to comprehend the idea that they're not looking at the world realistically.

I've posted here about wanting to give up on anything creative because trying to be creative when you have no creativity is a form of self-harm. I still have yet to find anyone whose had an idea on how to give up on this stuff. I've googled it (because I hate myself), and all the responses to people wanting to give up are the same things: people telling them not to give up.

I think it's kind of a microcosm of the human experience in a way. Giving up on art could be considered analogous to catching the bus. People have the same kinds of mentalities when it comes to these things and put what they want over what we need. Furthering the analogy, I enjoy tracing things, even though I would never be able to learn to draw. I would view that as being like my fantasy of living as my favorite person's pet, no longer existing as a human.

A good example of how trying to be creative is a very serious and damaging form of self-harm to me is my lack of financial stability. Last year, I spent $400 on a drawing tablet with a screen because I wanted to learn to draw. This was the most irresponsible purchase I've made in my life. I made that stupid, impulsive decision because I was having an impulsive BPD episode. Think of it like a manic episode in someone with bipolar disorder, but it goes on for much less time, usually an hour or two.

I tried getting people to reinforce reality and tell me that I'm incompetent, that I'll never be capable of learning to draw, that I have no creativity, because I need other people to be able to do things. I couldn't bring myself to return the tablet without that reality being reinforced because a part of me is addicted to self-harm.

Time went on, and no one was willing to do what needed to be done, and now I'm stuck with an expensive drawing tablet that I can't get rid of. I still want to get rid of it, but I can't, so I'm just using it to trace images that I like since it's soothing to me. In a way, tracing is also harmful to me because it stimulates the part of my brain that wants to learn to draw, which is the part of my brain that's addicted to self-harm. I wish I could just kill that part of my brain.

If I had my way, then I'd get lobotomized and have my amygdala removed so that I can function as nothing but property, which is the only type of role that I'm capable of fulfilling in life.
I also want to mention that I'm aware that the idea of having part of my brain removed to get rid of my intense emotions is the epitome of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but I don't see anything wrong with that. I'd rather overdo it than underdo it.

I read your story and I wanted to react with the sad emoji as well as the hugs emoji but sadly, I can only choose one, so I chose hugs as that is more wholesome and compassionate. I felt sadness knowing that suffering, whether physical or psychological is still suffering, and hugs since it is a show of compassion.

Anyways, to respond to your thread. I too, resent (the majority of) people for not being upfront and honest with a person. Perhaps it is a social convention or a 'white lie' made to avoid hurting another person's feelings or they are simply just not in line with reality (similar to what you said in your thread), and only peddle/parrot off cliches and platitudes. I agree with your point that creativity is something that a person has or does not have and cannot be honed in that sense. I too, suck at many things in life and sometimes even myself, I don't know why I suck at said activity other than "I just do" or "I simply don't have the skill(s) for it." It too, pained me to learn that there are things I wished I was good at, but clearly just suck at. Then in addition to this, there are things I suck at but don't care (enough) about it, thus it did not bother me as much (if at all).

Given that I'm a very logical and analytical person (perhaps speaking for myself, or just the minority of the populace), I (try to) oftenly evaluate things based on reality, logic, and feasibility. If something appears to be costly in time, money, sanity, and other personal circumstances, I simply just accept the fact that it would not be worth my effort and seek to find an alternative solution or just give up (no guarantee of success, but no failure either).

 

[borderline-feline]

I read your story and I wanted to react with the sad emoji as well as the hugs emoji but sadly, I can only choose one, so I chose hugs as that is more wholesome and compassionate. I felt sadness knowing that suffering, whether physical or psychological is still suffering, and hugs since it is a show of compassion.

Anyways, to respond to your thread. I too, resent (the majority of) people for not being upfront and honest with a person. Perhaps it is a social convention or a 'white lie' made to avoid hurting another person's feelings or they are simply just not in line with reality (similar to what you said in your thread), and only peddle/parrot off cliches and platitudes. I agree with your point that creativity is something that a person has or does not have and cannot be honed in that sense. I too, suck at many things in life and sometimes even myself, I don't know why I suck at said activity other than "I just do" or "I simply don't have the skill(s) for it." It too, pained me to learn that there are things I wished I was good at, but clearly just suck at. Then in addition to this, there are things I suck at but don't care (enough) about it, thus it did not bother me as much (if at all).

Given that I'm a very logical and analytical person (perhaps speaking for myself, or just the minority of the populace), I (try to) oftenly evaluate things based on reality, logic, and feasibility. If something appears to be costly in time, money, sanity, and other personal circumstances, I simply just accept the fact that it would not be worth my effort and seek to find an alternative solution or just give up (no guarantee of success, but no failure either).

I hate the whole concept of "white lie", because they're often the most harmful lies. People lie because they refuse to face reality and have difficult conversations. All that "white lies" do is set people up for failure by making them believe something that isn't true. Lying to "spare someone's feelings" is the height of malignant selfishness. It doesn't spare anyone's feelings; it just builds them up so that their fall is that much harder when it does happen.

For example, any time that anyone has told me that I'm capable of becoming an artist, or any time someone has told me that I can sing. It's all bullshit said by people who don't want to face the reality that I'm fucking worthless. If I had just been told that I'm worthless, then I might not be in such a terrible state, but I've been dealing with people lying to me and building me up my entire life.

At this point, I even hate my late mother because she didn't abort me. She should've gotten an abortion. It almost makes me glad that she's dead.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ok this long complicat but try tell

Human awful make hard art want ppl suffer no tell shorti no tell any, why one want draw char take 1y+ draw prac learn etc ,why one want melody take 1y+ try learn etc this all awful human way tgink gatekeep force suffer force make feel bad, human also art commun all awful gatekeep lie etc no tell truth,

this tell lie tell talent make force follow art norm ,no tell Sci no tell how real learn now tell how

art human arrogrn species spend lifeetime one thing ofc jealous see other human do ease that why music still shallw exmp.

Creteve no good word, tell trjtg forget word, this ppl type disable no disable, able no able. But tell thing, human art commun kill cretevr person. This only awful norm oppress no allow express make only 1% apper creteve.

truth art ppl also human no allow explore math set, only enforce 1 way if no use bully harass etc, there many way draw music story etc but ppl say no use this use onl 1 way. This ofc hurt, imagine all math set support use , many ppl do ease many ppl apper creteve

understand feel bad this human fault species force suffer no allow ease draw no allow ease music no allow explore posbl diff way. This same ppl tell do art have creteve same ppl try oppress lie no allow real creteve

Sry this say v understand, befr practic hard music,draw, write. Idea me have ease befr injury damage. But tjis depress, no reason stay all life try draw no reason all one thing also depress etc this awful, human force suffer force ppl no reach ,this all artificial hard. V understand, want draw anime girl real lovy do more etc but nk able, now imposbl injury damage

v sorry but want tell this human species fault no allow ease put artificial barrier, jealous hate force sufferia etc. Art v little use math set, this why ai future make thing human never do, this als why no want see ease way. Want give last exmp, Janko piano v good make more ease ,see history music no allow ease all artificial hard

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not a great artist but I am creative and I do agree with you. I think it helps enormously to have a talent in something to become good at it and get a certain amount of satisfaction out of it.

That said- I think fear of failure also plays a great role. I agree- there ARE some amazingly talented artists out there that very few people can hope to rival. There are also some people that aren't as good that also produce a lot of work. Either they don't recognize they are not that great (but they still see a unique quality to their work anyway) or- they have enough resilience to keep on working through the failures in the faith that they will get better. Or- they are simply doing it therapeutically.

For me- art is it's own feedback loop. You have an idea of something you want to create and you try to produce what you've thought of- or seen- if you are drawing from life. Then- your own flair and ability come in to play. I do definitely believe that some people do indeed have a natural strength for certain things- in the exact same way that some people are better at maths than others.

If you have any ability- you'll likely produce something that has good points and bad points. The good points will give you the impetus to keep going. The bad points will frustrate you and (hopefully) motivate you to improve. If ALL you see is bad though- it can be incredibly difficult to keep trying. There's just nothing to give you hope.

It's a difficult one because on the one hand- there usually is some small redeeming factor that seems too pathetic to notice. Also- it could be that our expectations are just too high. Honestly- I have been in your shoes. There were elements to my course and now- elements to my recent job that I struggled ENORMOUSLY with. For me- I simply HAVE to find cheats sometimes to get around things. I have to use other techniques that I know I'm better at and hope that I get away with it.

I loved your description of art as 'self harm'. If I'm honest- it actually applies to most of the artists I've met. We ALL suffer tremendously from self doubt because we'll never be as good as we want to be. I think the 'tormented artist' is quite a common concept. It doesn't just apply to people who aren't any good at all. It's just a factor of trying to create. When I told my Dad that I wanted to pursue a career in art- he said: 'oh dear- you're going to suffer.' (He's an artist too by the way.)

I hope you don't think I'm belittling you there. In case you do though- I'm going to take your word for it and assume that you have NO talent whatsoever. Then, I suppose you have to ask yourself- why are you doing this? If you can't be any good at this- why does it matter if you keep failing? It kind of sounds like at least SOME part of the PROCESS is therapeutic to you. That's amazing- it is for me too. I can lose myself in art. It's been my biggest coping mechanism in life. Sounds to me like you need to try and take the pressure off of yourself to achieve anything. The end result simply doesn't matter- it's the process you're in this for.

I would like to suggest a couple of things but I understand if this will just piss you off- so- feel free to skip. To an extent- it is what you've already heard before. I just want to share what helped me though- I have literally been where you are to an extent- except I was doing this for a course (that I was obsessed with and terrified to fail) with the ultimate (and ridiculous) goal of doing this as a career. It literally meant EVERYTHING to me- so- you can imagine the pressure I felt when I realised I wasn't very good. Definitely not good enough anyhow.

It sounds to me like you are putting all your emphasis on what your drawing looks like- how closely it matches real life- or what's in your head- and you are becoming so dispondant because the two don't match. Your abilities are failing you. I understand why you're doing this- it's natural after all- why else would we be doing this if the end result didn't matter?

Still- it can actually do you a lot more harm than good. Our tutors used to discourage us from trying to make a 'nice drawing'. They would dissuade us from rubbing out mistakes. They would also use techniques to get us to focus on observing- rather than producing a drawing that was 'good'. I'll suggest a few- maybe try them if you feel like it:

Negative Space: Don't focus on drawing the object- draw the negative space around it- if you're working on paper- try using charcoal or something that will make you less uptight. Use the edge of the charcoal. Try different mark making- don't be afraid to be bold and make a mess. It WILL look a mess!

Not Looking at the Page: This is going to sound odd but it worked wonders for me: try REALLY hard not to look at the paper (or tablet) at all. Presuming you are drawing from life here: obviously place your pencil or tool somewhere appropriate to begin with but then set your eyes intently on the object and it's edge and draw it as best you can WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE PAGE. As you follow your eyes around the edge- picture your pencil or tool following it. Again- the drawing is likely to look weird when you finally see it but it doesn't matter. It's the PROCESS that matters. The concentration.

Fast Drawings: Try and make youself do some really quick drawings- like- a minute or even 30 seconds. Even better on the tablet- because you won't be wasting paper. Again- the drawings will likely look terrible but this is about breaking down insecurities- making you just go for it!

Really- the bottomline is- try not to care so much about how your drawings look. Just try to focus on the process. That in itself is incredibly difficult because I think we are all geared towards the more academic side of producing an end result and improving.

I've also got to kind of agree with others in a way- which I expect you'll hate- but you've chosen an incredibly difficult discipline to try and master. It would be different if you were drawing like a child does- for the fun of it. You're trying to develop a skill though. HONESTLY speaking- I did a course that was considered one of the best in my country IN THIS DISCIPLINE and many people- including myself struggled immensely. That's people WITH a certain degree of talent!

I do actually agree that maybe you need to adjust your thinking in order to continue with this- ie. don't do it in the hopes of becoming a great Artist- do it for the therapeutic value and try to ignore what the end result looks like- you don't even need to show anyone. OR: I would say try things that are more at the level of crafts- model kits, candle making, scraperboards. They will still allow you to be practical but there is more guidance. You can still mess up- certainly but again- who cares? This is your hobby. A new experience. If you didn't enjoy it- fine- don't do it again but it doesn't hurt to try. It's probably better than doing nothing.

Still- you know- I really sympathise with you on wanting to feel less. I think our self awareness and emotions are a massive burden to a lot of us. I think for people who are trying to be creative- the feeling of failure is one of the worst. For us- I feel it's SO much worse when either our work is criticized- or- we feel like it's not good enough because it IS US. We put so much of ourselves into it.

Me personally, I'm just SO tired of feeling the need to succeed. It's that that's actually driven me out of my creative career- because I am a failure financially. I'm about to start a new non creative job which I suspect will just kill me inside. I just hope the rest of me can follow soon.

Anyhow- sorry for such a long reply. Sorry if I have only repeated some of the stuff that has annoyed you in the past. That's my take on it though. I do actually feel like I can relate to how you are feeling- so I did want to try and help. I'm sorry if it hasn't though.

 

[Dot]

Whn slf wantd 2 d/ artstc thngs wth 0 talent slf dd paintng b/ numbrs or stampng

Slf needd a low-effrt soothng repettve activty lke tht bt also hd 0 artistc talnt

I.m.o nt b-ing cre8tve ds nt mke sme1 incompetnt -- sme ppl r jst nt wird fr diffrnt thngs & tht = ok

Am srry tht ths xpernce hs lft u feelng ths wy - sme ppl r jst nt destind 2 drw or 2 sing & = snds lke u r beatng urslf up fr tryn2 b smethng tht ur nt

Hpe tht sme1 cn hlp u 2 sepr8 urslf frm ur tablt & fnd smethng els tht cn sooth u instd