Everyone hates me

[FireFox]

I f*cked up so badly. I am the worst person in the world that is how I feel right now.

I was a member of a feminist online community. On the site I was regularly criticising my own body. I openly admit I hate my brown eyes, black hair and yes brown skin as I feel they are boring features,. That's because the rejection I experienced from men throught the years and extreme school bullying made me feel that way, the freak that i am. My comments about brown eyes yes looking back now were quite extreme I deeply regret that now so much. I know I am a piece of sh*t. I pretend I am happy 24/7 and vent online in the evenings.

I said "anyone who says brown eyes are beautiful is lying." I described brown eyes as "pool of mud or entrance into a dark tunnel." I questioned why do parents desire their baby to have blue eyes.

I didn't mean to upset anyone.One woman on the site found deep offence in my posts because she herself has black hair and brown eyes. She was deeply hurt, mega angry .I f*cked up. The woman who expressed offence and anger is a woman who comes from an abusive household and a sexual abuse victim this is how bad the situationis. She has the support from the majority of the women on the feminist fourm. She has had a hard life whereas mine is more privileged than hers. She already has a lot friends on the site . The women on the site said I was said I was "troll", "a weirdo" and pretty much thought I was an awful person.

Everyone hates me. Everywhere I go I just cause problems and upset people. I just want to die. All my friends I made on the site are gone. In the real world I am in the lonely and now I am lonely in the online world. I want to die

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that in my opinion, sometimes it's best to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves as people can get upset and offended by everything. Other people experience life and see things differently. I think that often others can make things worse when we are already suffering enough. It really is such a cruel world that we live in and I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I know that loneliness can be painful for many. I hope that you find relief.

 

[Cosmic dust]

I don't hate you and I don't think that anyone here does.

It may not mean much.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Feminism is cancer. They lied to you. Most feminist are bitter because they've been burned. I don't hate you, but please don't be a feminist, they aren't a joy to be around.

 

[FireFox]

@Loosh_Earth

Publicly I apologised for all hurt my words caused people on the site. I really do feel bad.

It's gets even worse the person who was upset even blamed my threads for harming her mental wellbeing and how she needs to leave the website to take a social media break because of my posts. The person is so popular on the site. She is already vulnerable she comes from a abusive family. Upsetting an abuse victim is not good, I am finished.

All my friends I made on the site are all gone fed up with me and everyone else completely hates me. I feel like the worst person in the world. Honestly I want to do is sleep and never wake up. I really thought I finally found my friends and can be open but now I am the most hated woman on the site. The realisation a community of women online now hate me and see me as either as horrible person, a troll and liar is what hurts the mos5

Honestly I was criticising my own body and how I see my reflection. Seeing all the comments criticising me I want to kill myself. The women on the site even called me a werido.

I feel like the worst person in the world.

I don't hate you and I don't think that anyone here does.

It may not mean much.

@Cosmic dust

I absoultely feel like the worst person in the world right now. I use online fourms because I have no one in the real world to talk to. My family never listen and my friends pretty much all disappeared and abandoned me when I needed them the most. Then I found the Internet to vent my feelings in a way I can't in the real.

I really thought I found a place where I can talk to women in a non judgemental environment but now I become the most hated woman on the website. All i want is to die as these feelings are the worst.

Worst ones are comments saying how I am lying troll and not a real woman. Nobody understands me

I think that in my opinion, sometimes it's best to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves as people can get upset and offended by everything. Other people experience life and see things differently. I think that often others can make things worse when we are already suffering enough. It really is such a cruel world that we live in and I'm sorry that you suffer so much. I know that loneliness can be painful for many. I hope that you find relief.

@FuneralCry

In the real world I have no one to talk to everyone pretty much ignores me. My family are too busy dealing with relatives and their bullsh*t, I never had friends ad a teenager, was the school loner that was builled regularly and in adulthood my own close friends abandoned me after graduation. So I found the Internet and the Internet became my playground to express how I truly feel without judgement under the veil of anonymity.

This is how I feel everyday I wish I didn't but now everyone on the website hates me. They really hate me. All the friends I have made on the site are now gone and everyone hates.

Being called a liar and a troll pretending to be a woman is the worst criticism I received.

I have nobody to talk to anymore. In tne real world I am lonely and now on the online world I am lonely too. All my friends on the site hate me. Being the most hated member on the site is the worst feeling ever, everyone hating you.

 

[chloramine]

@Loosh_Earth

Publicly I apologised for all hurt my words caused people on the site. I really do feel bad.

It's gets even worse the person who was upset even blamed my threads for harming her mental wellbeing and how she needs to leave the website to take a social media break because of my posts. The person is so popular on the site. She is already vulnerable she comes from a abusive family. Upsetting an abuse victim is not good, I am finished.

All my friends I made on the site are all gone fed up with me and everyone else completely hates me. I feel like the worst person in the world. Honestly I want to do is sleep and never wake up. I really thought I finally found my friends and can be open but now I am the most hated woman on the site. The realisation a community of women online now hate me and see me as either as horrible person, a troll and liar is what hurts the mos5

Honestly I was criticising my own body and how I see my reflection. Seeing all the comments criticising me I want to kill myself. The women on the site even called me a werido.

I feel like the worst person in the world.

@Cosmic dust

I absoultely feel like the worst person in the world right now. I use online fourms because I have no one in the real world to talk to. My family never listen and my friends pretty much all disappeared and abandoned me when I needed them the most. Then I found the Internet to vent my feelings in a way I can't in the real.

I really thought I found a place where I can talk to women in a non judgemental environment but now I become the most hated woman on the website. All i want is to die as these feelings are the worst.

Worst ones are comments saying how I am lying troll and not a real woman. Nobody understands me

I also do not hate you. Sometimes when we self disparage it can hurt other people who have similar experiences/traits/whatever. You apologized which is all you can do and it's a big thing to do. It sucks that they aren't receptive to that. You are also not responsible for the other person's mental health- what you said may have triggered things for her and yeah that sucks, but again you apologized and didn't continue to do the thing. That's all you can do. She had the option to avoid your threads if they were triggering to her as well. You didn't seek her out to criticize her or go onto one of her posts about being insecure about abc to post that you hated abc by the sounds of it. Honestly their responses feel over the top and unfair. Attacking you and calling you a weirdo after you apologized and explained is a douche move. I'm sorry you've lost a community that was important to you.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Get off that forum tbh; they clearly have no compassion/don't get loneliness over there. You are not the worst anything :)

 

[Yavannah]

they have no reason to hate you because of something like this!!
plus you apologized - what else do they expect you to do now?
i think it would be better to search for friends in a different community..
where mental illness is understood and you can express your thoughts and feelings freely without being villanized and excluded.
many feminists that follow specific ideologies can be very close minded woman that are offended by everyone and everything
i think its hard to be friends with such people..

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't hate you, either. I don't know you, but doubt I would hate you. Hate is a really strong word. I haven't hated many people in my life, even when they have done things to me that really, truly deserved it.

 

[Doombox]

You ought to be able to state your opinions without others taking it personally. This whole idea of "safe spaces" so the babies don't get triggered is too much. Meanwhile, all you did is give a general opinion of how you feel about these traits, but these SJWs are free to hurl names at you and directly attack you, in other words their behavior is worse than yours.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Please listen to what @chloramine said. You are not a bad person.

 

[FireFox]

I also do not hate you. Sometimes when we self disparage it can hurt other people who have similar experiences/traits/whatever. You apologized which is all you can do and it's a big thing to do. It sucks that they aren't receptive to that. You are also not responsible for the other person's mental health- what you said may have triggered things for her and yeah that sucks, but again you apologized and didn't continue to do the thing. That's all you can do. She had the option to avoid your threads if they were triggering to her as well. You didn't seek her out to criticize her or go onto one of her posts about being insecure about abc to post that you hated abc by the sounds of it. Honestly their responses feel over the top and unfair. Attacking you and calling you a weirdo after you apologized and explained is a douche move. I'm sorry you've lost a community that was important to you.

@chloramine

All the other women sided with her. Now I am lonely again I went from having regular friends online to talk to and to being lonely. In the real world I am lonely and now the online world I am lonely again.

I don't hate you, either. I don't know you, but doubt I would hate you. Hate is a really strong word. I haven't hated many people in my life, even when they have done things to me that really, truly deserved it.

@locked*n*loaded

I hate it when I upset people. I do feel bad whenever I upset someone.

You ought to be able to state your opinions without others taking it personally. This whole idea of "safe spaces" so the babies don't get triggered is too much. Meanwhile, all you did is give a general opinion of how you feel about these traits, but these SJWs are free to hurl names at you and directly attack you, in other words their behavior is worse than yours.

@Doombox
I don't even want these feelings. I want to love my brown eyes and black hair but I find it impossible to see the beauty. The rejection from men throughout the years has made me feel like a freak and loathe the features I have. The school bullying I experienced from the boys at school doesn't help either.

As a teenager It absolutely hurt seeing my crush look so happy to see this Engilsh girl she looked perfect with her pale skin blonde hair and blue eyes while I just looked plain and boring with brown eyes and blue eyes. All the boys liked her. She wasn't even a nice person.she was so mean to me when I was a new member of the extracurricular activities club I joined. My crush he was a brown skinned Muslim Turkish boy with yep brown eyes and black hair. Most the guys I liked ended with white women with blonde hair or non brown eyes.

Of course some of women on the site believe I am troll and liar whenever I share my experiences of school bullying effected my self esstem into adulthood. One older woman on the sitesays she spends time with young women and says my experiences are not in the majority of young women and how I am liar. How I should shut up and stop trolling.

On other women online communities whenever I open up all I get accusations of lying, trolling and even blamed for my own problems. If I had a family and friends who listened I wouldn't be online communities in the first place.

This is what I absoultely hate about society. People express shock whenever a person kills themselves. We live in a toxic world where people exclude and are mean to others who are different from them. What are people expecting to happen? This is kind of posionious behaviour will unfortunately led to some people ending their own lives. After all why should a person live in a world where nobody wants them around, never appreciates them and constantly dismisses them whenever they open up.

These are same hypocritical arseholes who participate in mental health awareness week or tweet the suicide hotline whenever celebrity kills themselves. All those people who preach mental health on social media the majority are the same people who are not nice people towards others. That is why I don't participate in mental health awareness week because it's sheer hypocrisy.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I am not a woman but I understand why you might dislike your features. I'm not a fan of my skin tone either to tell you the truth. That won't bring you any solace I think but I'm willing to bet there are a lot of people on this forum who suffer from the same issues and may be willing to talk about it in a more supporting manner than the people you were talking to on that other forum.

 

[Marktheghost]

I don't hate you.

Apologizing was the right thing to do. If she/they can't forgive you, then the problem seems to be with them.

 

[FireFox]

I am not a woman but I understand why you might dislike your features. I'm not a fan of my skin tone either to tell you the truth. That won't bring you any solace I think but I'm willing to bet there are a lot of people on this forum who suffer from the same issues and may be willing to talk about it in a more supporting manner than the people you were talking to on that other forum.

@WhatPowerIs

I love your strawberry elephant profile picture.

Honestly I don't think I am ever going overcome my insecurities over my features. I believe now there is no help on how to overcome body Image issues.

Its impossible to talk freely about body image issues as women online on various platforms have just crucified me and gone on a moral crusade in judging me, making me feel guilty, expressing how my views are "offensive"and worst of all effectively treating me like a bad person who needs to be in jail or should die. The pure mob mentality I have experienced is absolutely disgusting.