Everyone has problems..

[divinemistress36]

I hate when non mentally Ill people say this. Yes, everyone struggles in life but the majority of people arent majorly mentally ill and struggle with doing basic tasks. Like no Becky, most people can get out of bed everyday and dont have an emotional break down over basic tasks and dont think about suicide all day everyday..

 

[Pluto]

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

So true!! I had to have my sister come over yesterday to help sort thru my mail so I could pay my bills. Prior to that I was in bed most of the day, never showered or got dressed.

 

[divinemistress36]

Your cat memes make me smile

 

[L'absent]

It is understandable to feel exasperated when hearing certain phrases, as if they were empty mantras, a clumsy attempt to minimize something that cannot be grasped by those who have never lived it firsthand. There is an unbridgeable gap between the temporary discomfort of those who go through difficult moments and the constant weight of a mind that battles itself every single day, struggling to find meaning in an existence that feels increasingly hostile.
What often hurts the most is not even the pain itself, but the isolation that comes from being misunderstood. It's the feeling of speaking a language others either cannot or do not want to decipher, as if deep suffering were something too inconvenient to fit into their simplified view of life. Their reality is linear, predictable, filled with struggles that have solutions, while yours is a labyrinth with no apparent exits, where every step is exhausting and no one seems to notice how draining it is just to exist.
And yet, no matter how unfair it is, that distance remains. You can try to explain, to make tangible that void, that inner paralysis that turns even the simplest actions into battles, but more often than not, the only response is a cliché, an empty call to "stay strong," a phrase that sounds more like a denial of reality than an attempt at understanding. It is in these moments that exhaustion compounds exhaustion, and the only real choice left is deciding whether to waste even more energy trying to make the incomprehensible understood or simply let it go, saving what little strength remains for something less futile.

 

[Arin]

I hate when non mentally Ill people say this. Yes, everyone struggles in life but the majority of people arent majorly mentally ill and struggle with doing basic tasks. Like no Becky, most people can get out of bed everyday and dont have an emotional break down over basic tasks and dont think about suicide all day everyday..

Yeah, absolutely. This is one of the worst. Whenever I've sought out help in the past, I've been belittled, my problems minimised, told that I shouldn't be complaining because "other people have it worse". No-one takes you seriously unless you've been traumatised in a war or something, and people just don't give a shit if you don't have what they deem as an appropriate "reason" to be suicidal.

I didn't fucking choose to be suicidal, if I could snap my fingers and enjoy life like I did when I was a kid then I instantly would. But people treat it like it's a choice, like it was my decision to wake up and be miserable and want to be dead all day and night. Saying "everyone has problems" makes me feel nothing but endless guilt for feeling like shit about my situation, and it's frankly absurd that people think this is an appropriate thing to say. I want to be understood, but these kinds of statements just makes it seem like they don't even remotely care and just want me to "get over it" and "move on" when I physically can't. It shows a complete lack of understanding and detachment from the realities of what people experience.

And yeah, like you said, it's always non-mentally-ill people saying this. I swear to God, so-called "normal" people have less empathy than your average suicidal person. People seem completely incapable at even trying to understand what it's like for people with severe depression, anxiety, etc. For them, it's just a matter of "just cheer up!" and "get over it, it's not a big deal,", like those are choices we make instead of involuntary thoughts we can't get rid of. They don't even remotely understand how hard it is for some people, they can only see the word from their own personal perspective exclusively. Anything that doesn't fit into their narrow worldview of how things work is disregarded as "attention seeking nonsense" and so on. YOU'RE blamed for the shit you go through even when you have no control over how your mind works, they act like it's YOUR choice that this is happening, the burden is placed on YOU even when you've done nothing to deserve it.

And then, at the end of all of this, people somehow still fucking wonder why suicide rates are so high. Some people are just incapable of understanding and empathising with mentally-ill people, and show no interest in rectifying their ignorance.

 

[divinemistress36]

Yeah, absolutely. This is one of the worst. Whenever I've sought out help in the past, I've been belittled, my problems minimised, told that I shouldn't be complaining because "other people have it worse". No-one takes you seriously unless you've been traumatised in a war or something, and people just don't give a shit if you don't have what they deem as an appropriate "reason" to be suicidal.

I didn't fucking choose to be suicidal, if I could snap my fingers and enjoy life like I did when I was a kid then I instantly would. But people treat it like it's a choice, like it was my decision to wake up and be miserable and want to be dead all day and night. Saying "everyone has problems" makes me feel nothing but endless guilt for feeling like shit about my situation, and it's frankly absurd that people think this is an appropriate thing to say. I want to be understood, but these kinds of statements just makes it seem like they don't even remotely care and just want me to "get over it" and "move on" when I physically can't. It shows a complete lack of understanding and detachment from the realities of what people experience.

And yeah, like you said, it's always non-mentally-ill people saying this. I swear to God, so-called "normal" people have less empathy than your average suicidal person. People seem completely incapable at even trying to understand what it's like for people with severe depression, anxiety, etc. For them, it's just a matter of "just cheer up!" and "get over it, it's not a big deal,", like those are choices we make instead of involuntary thoughts we can't get rid of. They don't even remotely understand how hard it is for some people, they can only see the word from their own personal perspective exclusively. Anything that doesn't fit into their narrow worldview of how things work is disregarded as "attention seeking nonsense" and so on. YOU'RE blamed for the shit you go through even when you have no control over how your mind works, they act like it's YOUR choice that this is happening, the burden is placed on YOU even when you've done nothing to deserve it.

And then, at the end of all of this, people somehow still fucking wonder why suicide rates are so high. Some people are just incapable of understanding and empathising with mentally-ill people, and show no interest in rectifying their ignorance.

Emotional intelligence is something a lot of people lack

 

[Douggy82]

I hate when non mentally Ill people say this. Yes, everyone struggles in life but the majority of people arent majorly mentally ill and struggle with doing basic tasks. Like no Becky, most people can get out of bed everyday and dont have an emotional break down over basic tasks and dont think about suicide all day everyday..

I was thinking about this today. I was thinking "what a shitty world this is". Then, I realized, a lot of people (maybe even most) are relatively happy and doing just fine.

When most people have a bump in life, it's just that, a bump. When mentally ill people have a bump, their life is on the line. Permanently fight or flight mode.

Losing a small financial buffer I had just completely wrecked everything. Every time my car makes a noise, I'm mentally choosing between homelessness and suicide. Same thing with new health issues. Most people at least have friends or family that could help them out in an emergency.

 

[divinemistress36]

I was thinking about this today. I was thinking "what a shitty world this is". Then, I realized, a lot of people (maybe even most) are relatively happy and doing just fine.

When most people have a bump in life, it's just that, a bump. When mentally ill people have a bump, their life is on the line. Permanently fight or flight mode.

Losing a small financial buffer I had just completely wrecked everything. Every time my car makes a noise, I'm mentally choosing between homelessness and suicide. Same thing with new health issues. Most people at least have friends or family that could help them out in an emergency.

Ya most people cant understand being in fight or flight mode all the time

 

[CatLvr]

Your cat memes make me smile

Haha! Me, too!!


And I understand exactly how you feel. I can remember a time when I was not suicidal. And looking back, even then I thought all the "hang in there" -isms were pretty tone deaf. It's like asking an assault victim what they learned from getting the shit beat out of them. Makes no sense to me. And even back then when someone would talk about how selfish suicidal people are, I would become so angry. In fact, I flunked my Psych 101 class in college because the professor and I got into a fight in class when he made that comment during lecture. Jesus Christ, I was furious.

I will never understand people who think just because their reality is all sunshine and roses that doesn't mean all of us have been that lucky.

 

[divinemistress36]

Haha! Me, too!!


And I understand exactly how you feel. I can remember a time when I was not suicidal. And looking back, even then I thought all the "hang in there" -isms were pretty tone deaf. It's like asking an assault victim what they learned from getting the shit beat out of them. Makes no sense to me. And even back then when someone would talk about how selfish suicidal people are, I would become so angry. In fact, I flunked my Psych 101 class in college because the professor and I got into a fight in class when he made that comment during lecture. Jesus Christ, I was furious.

I will never understand people who think just because their reality is all sunshine and roses that doesn't mean all of us have been that lucky.

Ignorance is bliss. I just tell people now Im sorry and I hope they are able to find some peace when are going through hard times as toxic positivity helps no one

 

[Sutter]

Closed.

Really pure and succinct responses, thank you, all of you.

As a fire already burning well, only a small stirring of the coals. Debate myself if the phrase should warrant a dripping response. They may have meant well even if stumbling around as a lost mind two bottles in. More it's the response they know. Stepping on a yellow jacket barefoot with no concept of the hive nearby. Perhaps not healthy but I tend to follow the isolation, dead inside is easier to sluff the life known off. Meaning I don't have to tell them, can let a distance grow and just walk on down a dark trail.

Cats though,..dam cats. Never speak a word but warbling a greeting. Using their presence only to disturb a day. Like walking pillows content with isolation and yet demanding gremlins with an unarguable innocence. Finding a dam firefly that is still there fifty feet down the path. Gotta love them for that, I do anyway.

Closed to people at times but not a Cat who became a divine mistress.

 

[DoneWithThisLife]

I hate when non mentally Ill people say this. Yes, everyone struggles in life but the majority of people arent majorly mentally ill and struggle with doing basic tasks. Like no Becky, most people can get out of bed everyday and dont have an emotional break down over basic tasks and dont think about suicide all day everyday..

So true. What I like about SaSu is we all understand even if we don't have the same exact problems as the next person. People on here are always genuinely compassionate and empathetic with others. Personally, I feel part of a community on here that I could never find anywhere else.

 

[danny10]

Normal people just have no idea what's it like to be mentally ill. They say stuff like "you'll get over it", "everyone has problems", I even had a friend telling me to "man up"... etc. I hate those people and I wish they knew the torture we go through each passing day and how hard it is for us to be alive.

 

[The_Hunter]

It is understandable to feel exasperated when hearing certain phrases, as if they were empty mantras, a clumsy attempt to minimize something that cannot be grasped by those who have never lived it firsthand. There is an unbridgeable gap between the temporary discomfort of those who go through difficult moments and the constant weight of a mind that battles itself every single day, struggling to find meaning in an existence that feels increasingly hostile.
What often hurts the most is not even the pain itself, but the isolation that comes from being misunderstood. It's the feeling of speaking a language others either cannot or do not want to decipher, as if deep suffering were something too inconvenient to fit into their simplified view of life. Their reality is linear, predictable, filled with struggles that have solutions, while yours is a labyrinth with no apparent exits, where every step is exhausting and no one seems to notice how draining it is just to exist.
And yet, no matter how unfair it is, that distance remains. You can try to explain, to make tangible that void, that inner paralysis that turns even the simplest actions into battles, but more often than not, the only response is a cliché, an empty call to "stay strong," a phrase that sounds more like a denial of reality than an attempt at understanding. It is in these moments that exhaustion compounds exhaustion, and the only real choice left is deciding whether to waste even more energy trying to make the incomprehensible understood or simply let it go, saving what little strength remains for something less futile.

I just wanted to say; these words are just so beautifully & perfectly put. Thank you so much for this artwork of a forumpost here. It truly is a complete circuit, of meaning & expression. There are just... so many quotable sentences and phrases in this post, with how seamlessly sewn it is. Possibly my favorite quote from this very fine post is this.

What often hurts the most is not even the pain itself, but the isolation that comes from being misunderstood.

And so thank you for soothing people with the understanding that is bestowed with such precise words given to people. Language has a remarkable ability to make certain brutal incomprehensible aspects of psychological life into charted maps, which can at least be grasped in such capacity; and even then, just being able to see anything of something which was foggy before--is a great relief to anyone seeking yet struggling to find.

This was a very peaceful and breathful post to read. I am glad that we are able to have words such as yours, L'absent--I stand in appreciation of them.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I don't think people understand how much we struggle! Basic tasks are like climbing mountains to us! I wish with these diagnosis they would offer us some type of health aide to come help us. I know it seems absurd of that idea, but they can't see how we feel. The problem with all these diagnosis is people hear them but look at us and think we look "normal" and some may even call us lazy and nasty (that's what I've been called). I doesn't hurt my feelings anymore because I realize they don't understand, it's their ignorance they are guided by.

I once sat in my house for 3 days starving. All I drank was water because that's all I had available. I didn't have the strength to simply get up, then shower, the thought of getting dressed was overwhelming, and I couldn't imagine driving to the store to shop and carry the bags in the house?? Then, oh wait, I still have to cook the food. I simply couldn't do any of the above so I stayed in bed. When I finally got up on the 3rd day, I fainted because I was so weak.

I say this to say, please try to ignore the comments. I know it's easier said then done. I'm very cautious as to what I say to people now. I no longer say I'm depressed, because they don't understand the magnitude as to what that means. What I will say is, I have a stomach virus and I'm throwing up. My friends will them offer to bring me something to eat, order me food, bring medication and etc. It's really sad

Some people will never understand you, but we do. I hope tomorrow us better for you. Take a break today, you can always try again tomorrow And of tomorrow is a bad day, that's ok, try again the next day.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Most people don't understand how it feels to have your own brain and body attack you. Not being able to trust your own mind to do the right thing for your wellbeing is the most gut-wrenching feeling, it feels like being betrayed by nature or god. Evolution sure fucked up when it comes to emotional regulation in humans.

People don't understand what being bombarded relentlessly by negative emotions is like, or what it's like to survive with those unbearable emotions day after day. Everything triggers sad memories for me, there is no escape. All I can do is lay in bed or on the couch all day, feeling miserable and just doing the minimum to stay alive.

What people really don't understand is suicide, and how horrible it is to be suicidal. I think they assume it just involves popping a handful of pills from the medicine cabinet and falling asleep permanently, or shooting yourself in the temple leaving a couple of quarter sized holes with some blood dripping out. They don't know how scary it is to grapple with fear of your method failing and leaving you a vegetable or in extreme pain. They don't understand how horrible it feels to try to pick a method when all of them are unpleasant and risky.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I find it easy to spot someone living their best life of heath, wealth, achievement, good parenting and opportunity. A person like this has a certain energy and bearing. Childhood trauma actually changes the size of certain portions of the brain. When people try and act like even happy people are secretly miserable it just comes off as a huge cope and just as stupid as saying the local homeless person is akchully experiencing the highest levels of personal fulfillment.