Venting everyone has given up on me. please someone acknowledge this, i dont know what to do.

[lovelulu]

The only reason it seems like my parents hasn't given up on me is because all I do is lie to them. I act like im fine because I know theres nothing they can do. Just yesterday my fp has officially given up on me and our relationship. She claimed she "didnt know" if she was giving up or not. I said if you don't know then clearly youre giving up. She then claimed she wasnt good right now asked me to stop suggesting she just blocks me. Then I let her think. Middle of the night her little fucking friend who has gone out of her way multiple times to bother and berate me has access to her account and starts bothering me. I text my fp on Instagram and I tell her clearly if shes letting her friend play around on her account after I waited all day for her to give me an answer, then its clear shes not taking this seriously and has given up. Later she responds and she said "I just gave her my account I didnt give up." A few hours later I respond, in short saying how she has given up and she isn't taking anything seriously and that she should block me. Then a minute later another one of her friends who has her account responds and tells me to get ny depressed ass out of here and other insults. That was my last straw and it really sent me down a spiral. I blocked her on everything and just sobbed for the rest of my miserable day. Then later she goes on her friends account and texts me asking me to unblock her so we can talk about it. I unblocked her and she hasn't responded since. I feel so pathetic. I dont know why shes so persistent on this when its so clear she doesnt take this as seriously and has been given up on me. I just want to hang myself tonight. I know what shes going to say. I know shes given up. Theres no point in having anymore hope. Im so pathetic and theres no hope for me. Im tired of everyone lying to me claiming they havent given up when its clear they have.

 

[pedro3211]

It sounds like a very tough situation but with that said if someone doesn't want to be with you there's nothing you can really do about it. At that stage all you can really do is walk away with your dignity in tact as much as possible. You're probably young and relationships come and go at that age

 

[Redhand5]

The only reason it seems like my parents hasn't given up on me is because all I do is lie to them. I act like im fine because I know theres nothing they can do. Just yesterday my fp has officially given up on me and our relationship. She claimed she "didnt know" if she was giving up or not. I said if you don't know then clearly youre giving up. She then claimed she wasnt good right now asked me to stop suggesting she just blocks me. Then I let her think. Middle of the night her little fucking friend who has gone out of her way multiple times to bother and berate me has access to her account and starts bothering me. I text my fp on Instagram and I tell her clearly if shes letting her friend play around on her account after I waited all day for her to give me an answer, then its clear shes not taking this seriously and has given up. Later she responds and she said "I just gave her my account I didnt give up." A few hours later I respond, in short saying how she has given up and she isn't taking anything seriously and that she should block me. Then a minute later another one of her friends who has her account responds and tells me to get ny depressed ass out of here and other insults. That was my last straw and it really sent me down a spiral. I blocked her on everything and just sobbed for the rest of my miserable day. Then later she goes on her friends account and texts me asking me to unblock her so we can talk about it. I unblocked her and she hasn't responded since. I feel so pathetic. I dont know why shes so persistent on this when its so clear she doesnt take this as seriously and has been given up on me. I just want to hang myself tonight. I know what shes going to say. I know shes given up. Theres no point in having anymore hope. Im so pathetic and theres no hope for me. Im tired of everyone lying to me claiming they havent given up when its clear they have.

I hear you, I hear your pain and your anguish. I hear your desperation and your frustration. You are human going through a human moment. Don't beat yourself up please, be gentle on yourself.
Sometimes it's worse to not know and be stuck in the dreadful anticipation of our fears.
It may not feel like it but time is on your side. Give yourself time to feel what you are, to find the thoughts and to plot a course through this moment. Breathe and breathe some more. Don't fear making mistakes, that's a part of being human. If you do fear though, that's also a part of being human.
You and your partner might not be written in the stars, might not be a long lasting relationship. That's ok. What you find around the corner might be even better and more important to you. Maybe you will grow old together and find happiness to rival all else. Things like that though are unknown to you right now, time will tell. Take this moment slow though, let it develop into itself and youll know way or another.
I found what I thought was the love of my life. My fears and apprehensions got in my way though. I pushed and rushed and tried to move too quickly and it cost me the relationship. It ended and I was drowning with sorrow for a long time. But as the days went by, feeling like years, I came to understand that no matter how I felt in that moment it never would've lasted. Had we stayed together we would've brought each other misery and strife. I'm fortunate now that it ended when it did. From that experience I learned that to rush things may often ruin things. I learned to be gentle with myself and others.
Maybe that lesson is for you too, maybe not. I don't know. In any case though, don't feel like you're alone in your pain, dear stranger.