its-about-time
nope
- Mar 19, 2022
- 807
I'm pretty certain SN is my way to go. I ordered some today.
I discovered this method within the last week. The striking change in skin color upon ingestion is haunting me. Mentally I just keep thinking of someone finding me, grey and blue, in whatever position I happen to be in when the thought comes up. Looking in the mirror is absolutely worse. I just see grey skin and blue lips. It feels very disturbing to me. I'm not dead yet, but every time I see myself, I'm dead.
I'm fine with it in practice. It's not a thing that makes me NOT want to take SN as my way out. I certainly will not have any mirrors around when I do it though. And I definitely am not looking up pictures of what it will look like. For some reason I am just being fucking haunted by seeing myself as dead and it's hard to cope with.
Not sure how to chill these thoughts/visuals out.
I discovered this method within the last week. The striking change in skin color upon ingestion is haunting me. Mentally I just keep thinking of someone finding me, grey and blue, in whatever position I happen to be in when the thought comes up. Looking in the mirror is absolutely worse. I just see grey skin and blue lips. It feels very disturbing to me. I'm not dead yet, but every time I see myself, I'm dead.
I'm fine with it in practice. It's not a thing that makes me NOT want to take SN as my way out. I certainly will not have any mirrors around when I do it though. And I definitely am not looking up pictures of what it will look like. For some reason I am just being fucking haunted by seeing myself as dead and it's hard to cope with.
Not sure how to chill these thoughts/visuals out.