Venting Every one i know thought i was fine

[Covalite]

Untill yesterday where i had a failed sucide by cop attempt every one i knew (which is a short list due to me being a hermit) thought i was alright, if even overly joyfull. I dont like the stares and the stating/questioning the obvious. If any thing i makes me wish i did attack that cop so he would have shot me. But no im a coward and im to scared of ruining someones life. If anything i wana die more cuase of that selfish pathetic attempt yesterday. But no im just a slutty coward...

 

[lessthanperfect]

I know the feeling and it really really sucks. Everyone I know sees me as cheerful and uplifting and it's almost as if no one knows what to do about me when they realize I've been struggling.

 

[Covalite]

I know the feeling and it really really sucks. Everyone I know sees me as cheerful and uplifting and it's almost as if no one knows what to do about me when they realize I've been struggling.

Do you have any advice on how to let others know questioning me makes it worse. Im terrible with big emotions.

 

[ASAPLeaving]

I wouldn't recommend death by cop. Contrary to the movies, TV and news, cops are trained to take you down without actually killing you. It doesn't always work like that, but dying by cop gunfire isn't a guarantee. You may end up with a terrible injury that makes your life even worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's very much understandable hiding how you truly feel in front of others so that they don't get suspicious in this anti suicide society, but to me that method just sounds like a bad idea. There is a reason as to why it's not included in the suicide resource compilation, but anyway failing ctb sounds so horrible to me, I hate how we exist in a world where we cannot just die in peace without struggle.