Ever wanted to date a depressed person?

[BackpackBones]

Ok I know it sounds crazy, but I constantly find myself longing for someone with depression. I really appreciate individuals who are able to be vulnerable, and I have so much respect for those who carry on despite feeling so tired. I find myself wishing I could be that motivation in someone's life, and I feel like it would make the recovery process a whole lot better.

Out of all the people I've dated, no one has really clicked this box for me. I've never really related to anyone throughout my relationships and in trying to do so I found myself twisting and bending into something I'm not. I find that go-lucky day to day happiness so unsustainable.

Any ideas how I can get me someone with depression?

 

[Left]

Seems like the average person in their 20s has depression nowadays.

 

[higherthanthesun]

I totally get that, this forum would probably be the best place to find someone with depression XD (sorry I know I shouldn't joke about that)

 

[Suicidebydeath]

She'd probably be suffering from that anyway.

 

[BackpackBones]

She'd probably be suffering from that anyway.

 

[just_a_guy]

I don't think it's appealing to date someone with depression, hence most of us being alone. I've been with someone who struggled with depression and it's not fun

 

[ThisUnrest]

Of course I would. Who could understand me if they werent depressed themselves?

 

[sserafim]

Unrelated but your pfp is such a mood

 

[february in alaska]

You seem like you're coming from a good place so best of luck in finding someone! But I would just say, please be careful not to romanticize depression for both you and your potential partner's sake

Like, if they did end up recovering, would you still feel the same about them? Are you helping someone through depression because you care about them, or do you care about someone because they're depressed? (This is just my personal feelings, but I hate when people approach me with the intention of "saving me" or "fixing me")

No hate to you, genuinely… I just think it's something worth thinking about

 

[deadwinter]

i feel the same, i desperately crave a connection with someone who understands my struggles on a deeper level. at this point, it's not even feasible for me to have a relationship (or even friendship) with someone who's "normal" and "happy," as i would have no choice but to fake being okay to avoid bringing them down with me. i've heard countless people express how exhausting having a close friend/partner/family member with mental illness is, and i agree. however, this sentiment has caused me to stop opening up completely.

anyways, a relationship was never an option for me, so it doesn't matter. i can't even take care of myself.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

Just about each and every time in my life I have overcome CTBing from being lonely just to get to where I'm comfortable alone, someone has come along and made me glad that I wasn't alone anymore... only to make me wish I had stayed alone in order to avoid the pain of abandonment.

Depending on the personal issues or what causes the depression for each individual, it could be fatal for one or both if it falls apart. Could be the breaking point.
It's usually just one more thing to end up depressed about after a little while/at some point. Oh, how I wish it weren't... but, it so often is.

 

[Celerity]

I used to think only another depressed person could understand me, but I also think depression is a state of self-absorption. Not sure there's room for a relationship with that.

Just to be clear - I'm not talking about narcissistic self-absorption, but when you are in a lot of pain, you naturally focus more on yourself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I thought we'd have more in common that way. It would definitely piss me off to date an optimist.

How to find someone though? I guess- just talk to them I guess. It will probably come across if they are happy or not.

 

[SmollMushroom]

Me personally no.
I've been depressed for most of my life now and I've always been attracted by cheerful, generally happy people. And usually staying around them helped my mental health.
I have also met other depressed people in the past, and I generally found no interest in them.
One of them was even major depressed. And I mean it.
He always looked completely detached from his surroundings. Absent. He stared at the void in front of him most of the time. Truly saddening...