Discussion Ever have a therapist who gave up on you?

[Ifonlysheknew]

just when i thought id hit one of my lowest lows, i get smacked in the face with another.
I've seen 9 therapist/psychiatrists, each one not knowing what to do with me and passing me on to the next
They either say "I'm not qualified to help you deal with your problem" or plain just go in loops without meaning and indirectly try to tell me not to go back.
I finally got one whom I thought was working. I thought she wasn't going to give up on me. I thought it was somehow, getting somewhere.
I was still miserable, but I had _something_ . After my appointment today, she said I should reconsider therapy if I'm not ready for change.
Right after a session of speaking abt how I work hard to be the best (on paper) and why I bother going the extra mile.
When she asked if anyone had ever told me to work harder (cuz I can get pretty extreme in working hard).
I was trying to refer to situations like these.

When I'm trying so fucking hard to fix myself. Every breath I take, every move I make is a chore. The fact that I bother speaking to anyone honestly amazes me, and today I again realised why I don't.
My will to improve isn't enough. My efforts, my everything. No matter how much I try, got hard I work, how far I push, it's never enough. I'm at a point that I don't even know what more I can do.
But it still isn't enough.

I probably sound like a rambling shit, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
Have any of you guys had this happen? How many times? How do you get through this feeling of hopelessness and helplessness that has just become 10 fold?

 

[MistakesHappen]

Yea lol, she thought she was not qualified enough. I ended up with a psychiatrist

 

[MistakesHappen]

I hope you'll find the right one, they are rare in my opinion tho

 

[DrownedOctopus]

Because of how young I was when I went, mine told me there was no reason for the way I was feeling and to basically get over it. She guilted me for feeling the way I did by telling me stories of those who have it worse.
It took me years to not have immense guilt for my feelings because others have it worse, and I dealt with terrible things I shouldn't have because I felt like it could be so much worse.
I never trusted going to therapy since.
She didn't really give up so much as just invalidated anything I felt that wasn't happiness.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

did therapist ever help anyone? i mean except people suffered from temporary tragedies and didnt have a general problem?

 

[cornflowerblue]

did therapist ever help anyone? i mean except people suffered from temporary tragedies and didnt have a general problem?

Therapy helped me a lot. That said, it's possible for something to be helpful without being helpful enough. If you get rid of 90% of the cancer in your body that's a huge improvement, but that remaining 10% will still kill you.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Therapy helped me a lot. That said, it's possible for something to be helpful without being helpful enough. If you get rid of 90% of the cancer in your body that's a huge improvement, but that remaining 10% will still kill you.

in which way? care to elaborate? im curious

 

[cornflowerblue]

in which way? care to elaborate? im curious

I don't want to get into details because that could compromise my anonymity, but it helped decrease a lot of symptoms, taught me a lot of effective skills for prevention and for improving my life, and helped me cope and work around the things I can't improve or change.

 

[dysfunctional]

My last therapist was completely sick of me. It's hard to get better when your disease sucks your willpower and motivation and actually makes you believe you deserve to feel like shit. Cognitive behavioral therapy seems to be the mainstream these days. It definitely works for those not severly depressed/bipolar or otherwise f'ed in the head.

 

[cornflowerblue]

in which way? care to elaborate? im curious

I got to a point where I had it all. There's nothing I'd change in my life. My problem is that after reaching that point and eliminating all of my external problems, I still don't want to be alive long term.

 

[21Neberg]

Yea lol, she thought she was not qualified enough. I ended up with a psychiatrist

cool my therapist told me that a couple of weeks ago as well. I'm getting a referral to a psychiatrists' clinic tomorrow, probably going to get meds too. It's going to be a ride.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Ifonlysheknew it is frustrating and disappointing for you that this is happening when you have tried so hard. Do you know why they are not being helpful? It might be that you need some time not having a therapist to think about what would benefit you? I often think these things start off with the therapist holding all the cards so if you can take some time out maybe and write down what you want from them it may help?
I hope you can get something sorted

 

[MistakesHappen]

cool my therapist told me that a couple of weeks ago as well. I'm getting a referral to a psychiatrists' clinic tomorrow, probably going to get meds too. It's going to be a ride.

Oh, so it's "pretty common".
I remember basically laughing when she told me this.
She was all "i think you are Psychotic and in a delusional crisis" (don't know how to translate) and i was like "bitch wtf? I'm just depressed lol" (problems regarding the Schizo type of mental disorders came to the surface later, but her diagnosis has continued to be wrong megalol)


Meds can help, to face problems and try to solve them without being in the hole.
Best of luck man.

How did your therapist tell you? (If i can ask)

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes this happened to me recently. The therapist literally said in so many words that I was too far gone and they cant help me (even though they were listed as a trauma therapist). I was seeking therapy because I had a really bad experience with a psychiatrist and I wanted a different approach. Its just disheartening to try and put your life back together only too be given the run around and end up feeling more hopeless and closer to just giving up and realizing that ctb is inevitable.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Raven Moon i am so sorry this has happened to you too, I hope there is a better counsellor out there for you xxx

 

[Broken]

My therapist is so good. Ha I wish he could just follow me around. I need to be more committed to getting better because I know I'm not doing enough

 

[Worthless_nobody]

@Raven Moon i am so sorry this has happened to you too, I hope there is a better counsellor out there for you xxx

Thank you! <3 Its so hard because mental health is so expensive (US here) it really sucks to end up wasting money when they end up making me feel even more worthless. :(

 

[Othermind]

Yeah, but to be fair there's only so much you can do with a guy who says at the first meeting "I don't wanna get better, I'm a piece of shit and I deserve to die. I just need a confessor but I don't believe in god."
I mean, not literally, but that was the gist of it.

 

[TAW122]

I never had this happen, but I have often had therapists keep pushing for more appointments, especially when I was a student at university, they pushed it until I actively spoke up and told them that I don't want to continue therapy. In fact, I think most of them are rather aggressive and will keep pushing the patient to keep going to each session until they either become broke or used up their quota. While counseling at my university is free, I still didn't like their aggressive push for therapy.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thank you! <3 Its so hard because mental health is so expensive (US here) it really sucks to end up wasting money when they end up making me feel even more worthless. :(

Do you have any online options for CBT while you decide what to do next?

You're not worthless, you're special (I know that from the pet thread :-)
But I can totally appreciate it is gutting to spend money and have someone treat you like that. Is there any opportunity to pay less for a 'trainee'? Hopefully they may be nicer?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Do you have any online options for CBT while you decide what to do next?

You're not worthless, you're special (I know that from the pet thread :-)
But I can totally appreciate it is gutting to spend money and have someone treat you like that. Is there any opportunity to pay less for a 'trainee'? Hopefully they may be nicer?

I had never thought of online therapy. Thanks for the idea I might look into that.

Awe thank you so much. <3 thats so sweet of you to say. <3

I was pretty devastated the therapist told me they couldn't help me because they were very nice to me unlike the psychiatrist. But its better that they were honest with me. Sadly Ill probably have to go back to a psychiatrist. Im trying to taper off the benzos they put me on but these withdrawal symptoms are getting worse, its really getting to me.

 

[Trulysorry]

Had a psychiatrist make me feel bad for having a psychotic break and having to take me as a patient because he was the only bilingual shrink within a 200 km radious. Saw him maybe 3 times before he basically said I was good and to get in touch with his office if my meds aren't working. He just diagnosed me with bipolar (possibly). Now I'm not a professional, but 3 visits after a psychotic break and being half assed diagnosed just doesn't seem adequate. I might be wrong though.

 

[Lara Francis]

I was disharged from the counselling service as i was considered too high risk !
But was then just left to cope alone

 

[Bedlamb]

Because of how young I was when I went, mine told me there was no reason for the way I was feeling and to basically get over it. She guilted me for feeling the way I did by telling me stories of those who have it worse.
It took me years to not have immense guilt for my feelings because others have it worse, and I dealt with terrible things I shouldn't have because I felt like it could be so much worse.
I never trusted going to therapy since.
She didn't really give up so much as just invalidated anything I felt that wasn't happiness.

I'm so sorry you had such a shitty expierence with therapy. I know I always hated group therapy as a teen because I felt so guilty hearing the others talk about how much worse they have it.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I'm so sorry you had such a shitty expierence with therapy. I know I always hated group therapy as a teen because I felt so guilty hearing the others talk about how much worse they have it.

I would feel the exact same! I think in some situations it just makes the problems worse instead of helping. I'm sorry you had to endure that, that's rough.

 

[Egddios]

I cancelled my appointment with my therapist today, and she took it as a total "break up" and quickly got off the phone with me. Which is fine, and also darkly comical to me. The psychiatrist I currently see is a joke, and I'm exhausted to imagine continuing the search for someone who "gets me."

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Had the work counselor tell me that I needed way more advanced psychiatric care than she could provide. Poor old lady was beat down after an hour with me. I felt bad for her, but it was my only chance to talk to someone for weeks. I took full advantage.

She may have retired after that.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Mine sort of gave up on me (but she's a counselor who's got psych license) because she doesn't know how to get inside of my walls. But I'm trying so I told her the other day about why I wanted to die and she took it (my confession) as a very puzzling one. After that, she also asked me to find the root of it all (i will not look for it) but I just can't see the bloody importance of it.

 

[Ifonlysheknew]

@Ifonlysheknew it is frustrating and disappointing for you that this is happening when you have tried so hard. Do you know why they are not being helpful? It might be that you need some time not having a therapist to think about what would benefit you? I often think these things start off with the therapist holding all the cards so if you can take some time out maybe and write down what you want from them it may help?
I hope you can get something sorted

Yeah, I've tried putting it down on pen an paper. But one of my issues is that the lack of control I have over my life have driven me to have very skewed thinking patterns abt what I can do, so I don't really know

All I know is I'm miserable every day, and I need this pain to stop before it takes me over completely
I've tried going on further, explaining more. Somehow I always end up right where I began

 

[Ifonlysheknew]

Yes this happened to me recently. The therapist literally said in so many words that I was too far gone and they cant help me (even though they were listed as a trauma therapist). I was seeking therapy because I had a really bad experience with a psychiatrist and I wanted a different approach. Its just disheartening to try and put your life back together only too be given the run around and end up feeling more hopeless and closer to just giving up and realizing that ctb is inevitable.

This is exactly what I keep getting. It's like, I'm trying really hard to pick up the pieces and fix stuff, working with ppl but then someone tells me that they can't do anything. That nobody can.
And I feel my heart sink to my stomach as my fragile hope has just been shattered right before my eyes.
Then they leave and are fine, but I'm left to pick up the pieces and do all of it all over again