Venting Ever feel like your life is over?

[spacewaster]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Yes, I am in my last days now. I feel it in my bones. Just need to save up for my ideal method.

 

[theRetroHawk]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

Yes this is exactly why I want to do it. I've always told myself if I am not on the path to something by 18 I'll ctb well im 20 in a week and I regret not dying when I truly didn't care I feel stuck and alone and the one thing I want to do I physically cannot do it and if that's my whole purpose I know was to do that one thing I'm just wasting time.

 

[Grav]

Yep, the last 3 years it's been settled. I'm just waiting for the clock to stop.

 

[spacewaster]

Yes, I am in my last days now. I feel it in my bones. Just need to save up for my ideal method.

I'm hoping my method arrives soon as well. Time will tell if my bluff works or not. I have a plan B ready to go if it fails.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly see my existence as just being a futile process of waiting around to die, my existence is very empty where all that remains is the dread for what lies ahead, it does sound dreadful what you've had to go through and I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[eeeeeedeeeeeden]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

Felt this way since I was a little kid and it's yet to go away, I think some of us were never supposed to live for so long or at all and instead we feel a sense of life being over matter how hard we try to change that.

 

[Kikoo]

It is over.

 

[兎の耳]

I feel like that. I didn't admit to myself that I was trans until I was in my late 30s and I'm 41 now, out of shape, overweight, and just generally miserable. I feel like I missed out on all the experiences of being a young woman and at this point trying to continue with my transition is a lost cause.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's more that the path ahead just looks REALLY difficult and I want my life to be over so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

 

[outrider567]

19 months for me

 

[Hollowman]

Yes, I could've wrote that.

 

[Unattainable666]

every day since my little girl died

 

[Trakehner]

I've not lived up to my so-called potential. I was a high achiever as a kid and now as I'm entering the "real world" I can't seem to do anything right. Things have only declined over the years. My life is already over but I'm too afraid of failing to ctb to attempt again. My body persists but my mind is long gone.

 

[AbsurdCapybara]

Yes I do feel like my life is over because my husband wants a divorce. I feel like no one will ever know me and love me the way he did and I feel like the world's biggest moron for losing him. And in case anyone's curious it's because he got tired of dealing with my depression and negativity which I fully understand. Of course I still feel betrayed because he cheated on me and I feel discarded because I'm in my 40's and am no longer a young, hot thing while he's only getting better with age. But at the end of the day, I only have myself to blame for being the depressed, suicidal pos that I am. Sometimes I want better myself for a better life, other times I'm just like screw this and want to die.

 

[SolomonKado]

i made it to my 40's and did a lot with my life. Travel, military, hobbies, etc.

I made a bad decision to get talked into getting out of the military to work in a state prison. I was told it was just like the military. I don't think they know what the military is like…. I never had a supervisor in the military tell me "why would I give out good evaluations when I don't get them?!" I also had supervisors in the military who would come talk to me face to face when they noticed something wrong instead of making me come to their office because they were too busy to take care of their men. The office was a place to show who had the power.

14 years of my life there and because of it I became an alcoholic who drank when I got off of work until I passed out because I couldn't deal with how I was treated. Mentally I became 10 times worse. I worked my ass off and it didn't matter. I was supposed to grease the right palms or kiss the right ass. I didn't have to do that in the military.

Now I'm a week or two away from letting it all peacefully rest.

 

[ikadasui]

Has been for years. Complete zombie and for awhile I could mostly function but I've slipped heavily back into alcoholism now and just rot daily

 

[Ivan Dunaev]

I have a big problem with my health, apartment, relationship, money, and appearance. Also, in my country the war now, so it's hard. I almost completely fell out of life, but I have a dream. I want to improve my English and get a good-paying job. When I think about suicide I just work harder, it helps me to not think about my problem. I think we all need a dream, but I know, that sometimes to hurt for thinking about a dream.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

Yep my life ended in March of 2022. No one decided I was worth helping. Shame.

I'm very sorry you feel that way it is awful. I know what life is like to do alone and it is awful. I wish you all the best.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

You put it well. I've felt like that for 21 years now too. I wonder if ketamine or psilocybin could help. Have you tried ECT? TCS? I take it uve done the usual therapy and ssri/snri antidepressants?

 

[Ivan Dunaev]

I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same as me.

I feel like my life is already over. Everyday has been the same for years. I look around my house and realize my environment never changes despite what I do. I tried to reach goals and be successful but instead I watched all of those things drift past me as i made no effort to hold onto them. It never felt like those things were my purpose. It was like i was supposed to follow a set path but strayed away from the very beginning.

Now it's like the algorithm has changed and the simulation has no further purpose for me. I missed all of my checkpoints. My role was filled by other people so I just sit and waste the space around me.

I've lost all my friends. I lost my soulmate. Im losing my pets. Career choices all denied or pulled out from under me. Skill sets obsolete. Willpower gone. There's nothing left for me.

I just don't know what else I'm supposed to do besides die and I've felt that way for almost 20 years.

Look, I live in poor country where English-speakers can earn a lot of money. Mayby you can leave to a poor country and become a rich man there. When you are rich you can do anything with your life. You'll be able to find friends and girlfriend, begin your business or doing your hobby. Also, if you have normal health you still have an opportunity to improve your life. You can think about it. And yes, I know that it's really hard, I try to overcome my own problems, it's extremely hard, but we can try while we are live.

Yes, I am in my last days now. I feel it in my bones. Just need to save up for my ideal method.

What do you mean about your ideal method?
When we feel that life is over, everything that we can do is choose one goal and work on it. When we'll feel that even one goal is unattainable and we can't try again we'll just die. I always learn English when I feel bad, sometimes I can't sleep from pain and then I'm learning until I lose the last ability to do something. It helps me to suppress my moral pain and some physical pain.