Ever fantasize about being normal? and then feel stupid about it

[katara]

My whole life I had an issue with daydreaming too much, and I almost failed 6th grade because of it. Sense I've always been pretty lonely and unhappy with life, I made up this whole universe in my head where I got to live out my dreams of being a musician and traveling the world. But then sometimes I would stop myself in mid fantasy, and I'd feel so ashamed because I knew I'd never be able to live out these dreams in reality. I got even more depressed when I learned many musicians are only famous because they had rich parents who bought them their career. Now that I know that reality could never happen, I would think about having a normal life and being in a relationship with someone. But then I get sad because I know I'm never going to truly be happy and in love with anyone. I had way too many daydreams about someone "saving me", but I know that will never happen. It's such a stupid cope, I just wish it would go away forever sometimes.

 

[UnwantedUnlovable85]

My whole life I had an issue with daydreaming too much, and I almost failed 6th grade because of it. Sense I've always been pretty lonely and unhappy with life, I made up this whole universe in my head where I got to live out my dreams of being a musician and traveling the world. But then sometimes I would stop myself in mid fantasy, and I'd feel so ashamed because I knew I'd never be able to live out these dreams in reality. I got even more depressed when I learned many musicians are only famous because they had rich parents who bought them their career. Now that I know that reality could never happen, I would think about having a normal life and being in a relationship with someone. But then I get sad because I know I'm never going to truly be happy and in love with anyone. I had way too many daydreams about someone "saving me", but I know that will never happen. It's such a stupid cope, I just wish it would go away forever sometimes.

I was at one point. I was 185 lbs, healthy, worked out 4 days a week. Had a good job and money in the bank. Before though I was a self loathing shell of a person only dreaming of normality. Then I met a girl that robbed me of everything and I'm back to square one. Overweight and dreaming of the time I was really truly happy

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Normal would be nice but I've made too many errors and painted myself into a corner.

 

[HappyForever?]

Yes, all the time. All I want is to live a normal and happy life, but it will never happen.

 

[OldDrummer]

My whole life I had an issue with daydreaming too much, and I almost failed 6th grade because of it. Sense I've always been pretty lonely and unhappy with life, I made up this whole universe in my head where I got to live out my dreams of being a musician and traveling the world. But then sometimes I would stop myself in mid fantasy, and I'd feel so ashamed because I knew I'd never be able to live out these dreams in reality. I got even more depressed when I learned many musicians are only famous because they had rich parents who bought them their career. Now that I know that reality could never happen, I would think about having a normal life and being in a relationship with someone. But then I get sad because I know I'm never going to truly be happy and in love with anyone. I had way too many daydreams about someone "saving me", but I know that will never happen. It's such a stupid cope, I just wish it would go away forever sometimes.

Sounds like you'd be a fantastic writer. Embrace your imagination instead of beating yourself up about it.

Also, I don't know of any famous musicians who made it because they had rich parents. It's usually down to talent!

 

[.............]

I didn't think anyone else would have these thoughts because holy shit, I sure do have them.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes, but it isn't in the cards for me.

 

[ikadasui]

Not even just normal but full blown self inserts into fictional words. Anything to get me a break from my god awful reality

 

[Hurt]

Oh yes. I wish I were normal.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Sounds like you'd be a fantastic writer. Embrace your imagination instead of beating yourself up about it.

Also, I don't know of any famous musicians who made it because they had rich parents. It's usually down to talent!

I'm not sure what is normal. But not fucked up would have been nice.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

All the time.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I got even more depressed when I learned many musicians are only famous because they had rich parents who bought them their career. Now that I know that reality could never happen

On the flip-side, there are plenty of musicians without rich and famous parents, who became famous through only their own hard work and talent and dedication to their instruments because it was their dream to do so. It has to be the most important thing in your life to get to that point. And I suppose there has to be some inherent, underlying talent, too.

 

[Slimetae]

Yep 24/7

 

[katara]

I didn't think anyone else would have these thoughts because holy shit, I sure do have them.

Ya I hear you, I haven't been able to find anyone who understands. I go on Twitter and I see someone post a video of a woman dancing around and the post is titled "This is what depression can look like" and it pisses me off because i've been messed up for what feels like my whole life. I hate seeing people talk about how they didn't start stressing out in life until like 30. They always wanna give their shitty opinions on suicide and suicidal people when they don't know shit.

 

[lofticries]

I fantasize about being self sufficient af and able to take care of my parents. but with how shit things are in my life i find it even an obstacle to take care of myself.

 

[DoodleBug]

I know I will never be normal, so I just mainly fantasize about being a worthwhile person in general. The endless mixture of angst, dread and anhedonia ate my brain and all I am is a ghost phasing between work and waiting for death. I've been too tired for years to maintain discipline and channel my state into something creative. In this case normalcy would be any kind of life at all in a prematurely withered soul.