even if i won a billion, it would never be enough to make up for the bad things that happened to me

[xXSufferingXx]

winning a billion dollars wouldn't ever "reset the score" or "make things right", to where one would be okay with still being alive.

i have had enough pain and torture at halfway thru life than most people ever experience in their entire lives.
so you see what i mean?
it's better to (hypothetically) end things early, and that way, things will be a bit more fair to myself.
because like i said, i already have enough trauma and pain than one person ever experiences.
maybe i even have more shit than 2 or 3 people ever experience.

you can only fill up the glass so much before the shit spills over.

it's not fair that i should live to be motherfucking 95 when everyday is torture.
it's simply not fair.

edit: i corrected a few typos

 

[Lost in a Dream]

While I don't want to compare suffering I can say that it wouldn't make up for it for me either. Of course if I did win a billion, I could go on a nice vacation if I wanted and end my life on a beautiful island paradise somewhere. I'd be more than happy to bring others along for the ride too if they wanted to join me, as many Sasu members as I could bring with me to the island.

Even if the rest of the world labeled our little island group as a suicide death cult or some shit, it wouldn't be that. We would all have one last party before we left this world, to celebrate the ending of our suffering.

 

[ZwartHartje]

Same, no money in the world could bring my loved ones back to life, so it would be meaningless to me.

 

[iwanttodie019]

How old are you?

Same, no money in the world could bring my loved ones back to life, so it would be meaningless to me.

But billion dollars is a lot of money.If i could win a billion dollars,i would be very happy,at least for the short term.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

It's practically an imposibility to just win a billion dollars .

but if i could i would use the money to kill myself .

buy a very large amount of cheap land in remote areas that get cold. it would have a cabin surrounded by miles of nothing but my property so no one could interupt me. then i could kill myself without anyone bringing me to the hospital and back to life.

this way i'll be sure to die. also i'll turn off the heat in the winter so that the cold will be another backup method.

what's stopping me is fear of failing or my si calling someone or the ER when i'm dizzy or confused by chemicals like SN etc.

but this way i'd be far away from humans that my si couldn't contact any humans

something you mentioned another reason Eternal Non-Existence is the best thing : Non-Existence forever is the only way you can forget the trauma of this evil life and evil world and what they made me , the endless evil and unfairness in this evil prison world, and all the horrible continuous unbearable pain that's a billion times worse than the worst one can imagine.

Permanent Non-Existence is the only guarantee of never suffering so badly the suffering is a trillion times worse than the worst one can imagine , never any pain problems nor bad memories.

i would never want anything from evil life or this evil world . the only thing i want is to exit

the worst pain outweigh the pleasurable addictions by a billion times. Even shopenhaur kinda agreed with me when he said compare the pleasure an animal gets eating another animal alive to the pain suffering and horror of the animal being eaten alive slowly . keep in mind that a quadrillion animals with a brain die every day in this hell most of them are fish and insects and they do feel pain. most of them die painfully like this or worse . 174,000 humans die every day too. a lot of those dyings are painful and long like cancer. i worked in a nursing home. it's hell.

the only way i can describe it given the limits . to me life and this world are similar to if someone is kidnapped and put in a basement or prison and tortured repeatedly kept as a slave working long hours every day . but in their "kindess" give you food and water and some entertainment like youtube and social media addictions. so it would be stupid of me if i were in this prison to conscouisly enjoy their youtube or food. no i would want to escape and maybe a lot of people would too i guess.

i was in the freedom peace and bliss of Non-Existence then i was kidnapped brought into this hell birthed here into this nightmare

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Even a billion dollars wouldn't cure my depression. I'd give it all away to charities.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,

I'd probably give big chunks of it away only to watch them invest it in harassing me, while still running into everyone too messed up in some way to get any help without demanding I spoon-feed them. And still getting upset if I take a day off per week as religion requests.

It's weird and ridiculous.

 

[Bitter Almonds]

Maybe it would make me happy. I could stop working in a job I hate, I could move to any country I want that isn't this one, I could take care of anyone and everyone.

I could sleep all I wanted.

 

[delinquentsandwich]

it'd be really nice to do things by myself for a bit and then donate the rest
but yeah, wouldn't solve problems at its root

 

[xXSufferingXx]

it'd be really nice to do things by myself for a bit and then donate the rest
but yeah, wouldn't solve problems at its root

right. but i mean, let's say it DID fix all my problems...
the problems still exist in the past.
the fact that they caused me so much pain in the past,
even if the problems were now solved,
means that no amount of money can ever be considered to have "erased" the suffering or "made things right".

if you know what i mean.
english not first language lol