When I am planning to commit suicide, is it unethical to date? is it unethical to make new friends?
This very specifically - in my case at least - applies to a partner or a friend who knows, im willing to talk openly about it, answer questions etc. etc. but i am not willing to cancel the date, nor move it, nor am i seeking some kind of solution in this person. Let's say this individual is fine with all of this, knows I am living on limited time, and still wants to be with me.
If I care deeply for this person too, is it an awful thing of me to do to be with them? Is it wrong of me to want something good for a little while? I don't mean that as a loaded question, I just mean to offer ideas.
I don't know who to ask.
I'm struggling with this now because I've seen other people on here pose similar questions. IDK how much traction this post will get but partly selfishly id like to hear what other peoples thoughts on this would be.
I don't believe this question can be addressed in terms of "morality" or "ethics," at least not as if these were objective and universal entities. These concepts are nothing more than human constructs, artifices of the collective mind designed to harness the chaos of existence into codified rules, social conventions, and shared narratives. Morality, in particular, is a convenient fiction created to ensure group cohesion, a tacit agreement that facilitates communal living, but it has no intrinsic reality or absolute value. To speak of morality as if it were an objective truth is, in my view, absurd—a hollow claim that crumbles under even the slightest critical scrutiny.
Morality changes over time, across cultures, and even from person to person. What is considered "immoral" today might have been perfectly acceptable in another historical context, and vice versa. Human societies have justified wars, slavery, genocide, and other atrocities in the name of moral codes that, when viewed from a different perspective, reveal themselves to be arbitrary constructs. Even what we call ethics, often seen as a more rational or universal discipline, is nothing more than an extension of this same relativism: a set of rules devised to rationalize behaviors and choices within a specific context.
To claim that morality or ethics are objective is akin to believing in metaphysical entities that hover above us, dictating the rules of human behavior. But there is nothing transcendent about these concepts. They arise from the human need for order, the attempt to make sense of chaos, but they are, ultimately, tools of control. Morality is nothing more than a distorting lens through which we interpret the world, a language that pretends to be universal but is always contingent, personal, and shaped by circumstances.
In the specific case presented, asking whether it is moral or immoral to form a relationship knowing that time is limited is, in my opinion, asking the wrong question. There is no moral or ethical code that can provide a valid answer. Any judgment on the matter is simply a reflection of the biases, beliefs, and mental constructions of the person making it.
If the individual in question desires to experience a moment of joy or connection, even if temporary, and if the other person accepts this reality with full awareness, then there is nothing to condemn. There is no universal ethical tribunal that can rule against the human desire to find meaning, however fleeting. Ethics, like morality, is merely a futile attempt to codify the infinite complexity of existence into rigid, prepackaged rules.
The question, then, is not whether it is moral or immoral, ethical or unethical, but rather: what does this mean for the people involved? What is the subjective value they attribute to this experience? Attempting to categorize life into moral or ethical frameworks only diminishes its richness, ignoring the fact that every decision, every relationship, is a unique, unrepeatable event entirely dependent on circumstances.
Ultimately, morality and ethics are nothing but masks we wear to give an appearance of order to the inherent disorder of our existence. Looking beyond these masks allows us to see things for what they truly are: choices, desires, needs—entirely subjective and free of universal judgment. In this case, there is nothing "right" or "wrong"; there is only the human desire to find a fragment of meaning in a world that, by its very nature, lacks it.