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hemlocked

hemlocked

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Jun 30, 2025
35
As a new member it is my hope that the short essay in defence of suicide can be accepted as my first post to this forum. I will lead in with a quick introduction to myself.

I first began thinking about suicide as a small child of 6, when I first went to school and immediately became a victim of extreme bullying. As life progressed and stayed impossibly confusing and difficult these thoughts stayed with me - throughout my teens and into adulthood. It was, however, only in the last five years, after I survived being trapped in a seven year long relationship with an abusive narcissist, that my thoughts on suicide became truly serious.

I decided during periods when I was free from depression, and therefore as rational as possible, that I would end my life and suffering if living did not become easier. I have worked extremely hard since then to make something of myself. After reading a book on ADHD I hade a sort of eureka moment, after which I started the process of obtaining a diagnosis for ADHD. Last year, after waiting for years (the Swedish mental healthcare system is very broken) I received my diagnosis for ADHD, and as a surprise bonus, for autism too.

At last, so many of the pieces of my life that never made sense started to fall into place. I began to hope. However, due to circumstances out of my control, and linked to my 7 year abusive relationship and marriage to an abusive Swede, everything has fallen apart. I am to be deported, after many years of living here, to my country of origin where I have no friends or family, where there is no social safety net, where I will have no job and no way to afford the very expensive mental healthcare I need (in order to get a job, amongst other things), nowhere to live, and the list goes on…

I have one appeal left, to a court that is famous for not hearing appeals. I am unlikely to succeed. And so I have prepared my exit. The short essay that follows has been part of my mental preparation, specifically to get my thoughts in order for the goodbye letters that I need to write.


In Defence of Suicide

The assumption that life is always preferable to death is deeply ingrained in human societies, but I believe this assumption is rarely questioned with the rigour it demands. Many hold that existence is inherently valuable, that suicide is necessarily irrational, and that life must be preserved regardless of its quality. These assumptions, however, do not withstand careful scrutiny. Rather than treating life as an unquestionable good, we must evaluate it based on the experiences it entails. If my suffering, or that of another, outweighs any potential for well-being, then continuing to live is not an obligation but an imposition. In such circumstances, the decision to end one's life is not an act of irrational despair but a rational response to an intolerable condition.

One of the greatest obstacles to recognizing this truth is the widespread tendency to overestimate the quality of life. People are prone to cognitive biases that distort their assessments of suffering. I see the status quo bias leading people to believe that continuing to live is inherently preferable simply because it is the default state. The optimism bias causes individuals to underestimate future suffering and overestimate the likelihood of improvement, even when evidence suggests otherwise. The adaptation effect further reinforces this illusion, as individuals become accustomed to their suffering and rationalize it rather than confronting the question of whether continued existence is truly beneficial. These biases obscure a fundamental reality: for many, life is filled with hardship, and there is no guarantee that the future will bring relief.

This illusion of life's value is further reinforced by societal and cultural norms that demand the preservation of existence at any cost. Many argue that one has a duty to family, to society, or to an abstract notion of human dignity to continue living. But I reject such arguments because they fail to recognize that the burden of proof should rest on those who claim that life is always worth living, not on those who question its worth. If I, or any other rational individual, determine after careful reflection that suffering is unbearable and that no realistic prospect of improvement exists, then forcing endurance of such an existence is an unjustifiable cruelty.

This is especially true for those of us whose suffering is extreme and irremediable. Those afflicted by chronic physical pain, severe mental illness, or social isolation that renders life unbearable may rationally conclude that non-existence is preferable. Many who oppose suicide fail to appreciate the depth of suffering that some of us endure, insisting instead that life must always be preserved. But I find this position deeply flawed, as it fails to account for the fact that not all lives contain enough good to justify their continuation.

Personal autonomy demands that individuals be allowed to make decisions about their own existence, including the choice to end it. The moral presumption should not be in favor of life at all costs, but rather in favor of allowing individuals to decide for themselves whether their lives are worth continuing. This does not mean that suicide is always the best choice, but it does mean that it is sometimes a rational and justifiable response to suffering. The refusal to acknowledge this fact is not a reflection of moral clarity but of an unwillingness to confront the uncomfortable reality that for some, non-existence is indeed preferable.

References

Benatar, D. (2006). Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence. Oxford University Press.

Benatar, D. (2017). The Human Predicament: A Candid Guide to Life's Biggest Questions. Oxford University Press.
 
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dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
739
Well written essay that I totally agree with.
 
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T

TBONTB

Specialist
May 31, 2025
395
As a new member it is my hope that the short essay in defence of suicide can be accepted as my first post to this forum. I will lead in with a quick introduction to myself.

I first began thinking about suicide as a small child of 6, when I first went to school and immediately became a victim of extreme bullying. As life progressed and stayed impossibly confusing and difficult these thoughts stayed with me - throughout my teens and into adulthood. It was, however, only in the last five years, after I survived being trapped in a seven year long relationship with an abusive narcissist, that my thoughts on suicide became truly serious.

I decided during periods when I was free from depression, and therefore as rational as possible, that I would end my life and suffering if living did not become easier. I have worked extremely hard since then to make something of myself. After reading a book on ADHD I hade a sort of eureka moment, after which I started the process of obtaining a diagnosis for ADHD. Last year, after waiting for years (the Swedish mental healthcare system is very broken) I received my diagnosis for ADHD, and as a surprise bonus, for autism too.

At last, so many of the pieces of my life that never made sense started to fall into place. I began to hope. However, due to circumstances out of my control, and linked to my 7 year abusive relationship and marriage to an abusive Swede, everything has fallen apart. I am to be deported, after many years of living here, to my country of origin where I have no friends or family, where there is no social safety net, where I will have no job and no way to afford the very expensive mental healthcare I need (in order to get a job, amongst other things), nowhere to live, and the list goes on…

I have one appeal left, to a court that is famous for not hearing appeals. I am unlikely to succeed. And so I have prepared my exit. The short essay that follows has been part of my mental preparation, specifically to get my thoughts in order for the goodbye letters that I need to write.


In Defence of Suicide

The assumption that life is always preferable to death is deeply ingrained in human societies, but I believe this assumption is rarely questioned with the rigour it demands. Many hold that existence is inherently valuable, that suicide is necessarily irrational, and that life must be preserved regardless of its quality. These assumptions, however, do not withstand careful scrutiny. Rather than treating life as an unquestionable good, we must evaluate it based on the experiences it entails. If my suffering, or that of another, outweighs any potential for well-being, then continuing to live is not an obligation but an imposition. In such circumstances, the decision to end one's life is not an act of irrational despair but a rational response to an intolerable condition.

One of the greatest obstacles to recognizing this truth is the widespread tendency to overestimate the quality of life. People are prone to cognitive biases that distort their assessments of suffering. I see the status quo bias leading people to believe that continuing to live is inherently preferable simply because it is the default state. The optimism bias causes individuals to underestimate future suffering and overestimate the likelihood of improvement, even when evidence suggests otherwise. The adaptation effect further reinforces this illusion, as individuals become accustomed to their suffering and rationalize it rather than confronting the question of whether continued existence is truly beneficial. These biases obscure a fundamental reality: for many, life is filled with hardship, and there is no guarantee that the future will bring relief.

This illusion of life's value is further reinforced by societal and cultural norms that demand the preservation of existence at any cost. Many argue that one has a duty to family, to society, or to an abstract notion of human dignity to continue living. But I reject such arguments because they fail to recognize that the burden of proof should rest on those who claim that life is always worth living, not on those who question its worth. If I, or any other rational individual, determine after careful reflection that suffering is unbearable and that no realistic prospect of improvement exists, then forcing endurance of such an existence is an unjustifiable cruelty.

This is especially true for those of us whose suffering is extreme and irremediable. Those afflicted by chronic physical pain, severe mental illness, or social isolation that renders life unbearable may rationally conclude that non-existence is preferable. Many who oppose suicide fail to appreciate the depth of suffering that some of us endure, insisting instead that life must always be preserved. But I find this position deeply flawed, as it fails to account for the fact that not all lives contain enough good to justify their continuation.

Personal autonomy demands that individuals be allowed to make decisions about their own existence, including the choice to end it. The moral presumption should not be in favor of life at all costs, but rather in favor of allowing individuals to decide for themselves whether their lives are worth continuing. This does not mean that suicide is always the best choice, but it does mean that it is sometimes a rational and justifiable response to suffering. The refusal to acknowledge this fact is not a reflection of moral clarity but of an unwillingness to confront the uncomfortable reality that for some, non-existence is indeed preferable.

References

Benatar, D. (2006). Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence. Oxford University Press.

Benatar, D. (2017). The Human Predicament: A Candid Guide to Life's Biggest Questions. Oxford University Press.
Nice overview. You probably have a lot of folks here who are in agreement. I'm sure someone could write a book on what various philosophers have said about suicide...but that sounds like a lot of work!
 
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used_and_abused

used_and_abused

Member
Jan 27, 2025
52
Beautiful essay. I'm dealing with chronic illness and i relate to this heavy.

Pain for me is infinite because my body is permanently damaged. This is my reality.

I never thought i'd have to kill myself. But yea..
 
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Marcy1024

Marcy1024

Member
Jun 9, 2025
31
The government sees your upbringing as an investment. If you die by suicide, they lose that "asset"—that's why they go after it. It's not about "humanity."
Similarly, psychologists try to stop you because they want to preserve their jobs and their place in society. It's not about compassion—at least not by default.
Euthanasia should be a right granted to anyone, regardless of their material condition. "Humanity" has come to mean seeing ourselves as more useful objects. Denying euthanasia because "you might still be useful" is actually inhumane.
As for governments that deny euthanasia in all cases, they do so just to hide the real reasons they criminalize suicide.
 
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LetMeOut67

LetMeOut67

Experienced
May 7, 2025
259
They don't want death but a living death is fine
 
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hemlocked

hemlocked

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Jun 30, 2025
35
Nice overview. You probably have a lot of folks here who are in agreement. I'm sure someone could write a book on what various philosophers have said about suicide...but that sounds like a lot of work!
In the final analysis, do we really need the philosophical defence? We live in societies where (in most cases) individual liberty is raised up as a central idea, and if I'm the one who gets to decide about my body and life then, well… then I'm the one who gets to decide about my body and my life. Or?
 
T

TBONTB

Specialist
May 31, 2025
395
In the final analysis, do we really need the philosophical defence? We live in societies where (in most cases) individual liberty is raised up as a central idea, and if I'm the one who gets to decide about my body and life then, well… then I'm the one who gets to decide about my body and my life. Or?
It's almost too philosophical whether or not we need a philosophical defense! I'm pragmatic, so no, not for me.

The lens of individual empowerment and self-determination of course is not true for those who have deeply held religious beliefs that hold life belongs in Gods hands not human hands. But I imagine not many of those folks ended up on this site to begin with.
 
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hemlocked

hemlocked

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Jun 30, 2025
35
Perhaps, or perhaps not. I believe religious people have doubts too, and suffer just like the rest of us. And just like us they'll come seeking answers to many of the same questions that brought us here.
 
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AnimeSlayersFan

AnimeSlayersFan

Member
Jul 18, 2025
84
The government sees your upbringing as an investment. If you die by suicide, they lose that "asset"—that's why they go after it. It's not about "humanity."
Similarly, psychologists try to stop you because they want to preserve their jobs and their place in society. It's not about compassion—at least not by default.
Euthanasia should be a right granted to anyone, regardless of their material condition. "Humanity" has come to mean seeing ourselves as more useful objects. Denying euthanasia because "you might still be useful" is actually inhumane.
As for governments that deny euthanasia in all cases, they do so just to hide the real reasons they criminalize suicide.
Debt, if suicide is socially acceptable then debt loses power.
The world is run on getting people into debt so that they become slaves that have to work or be put in jail.
But if you can rack up debt then ctb, well, you are cheating the system, as you are erasing debt.
 
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Elementalist
Apr 21, 2025
829
Well what solutions do they offer? Mental health is a business that needs to be profitable just to walk through the door. When you do get though the door you have additional games that need to be played. In my case addiction, and ctb by od have them withholding medication known to work. I am in therapy again, but it's the same game of let's hope this therapist is smart enough to see what trained people took years to be able to diagnose. What took myself 20 years to accept even. I can't fault people for wanting to save a life. I can fault them when they play games with the treatments that can make a life worth living. Maybe. When I ctb, and when, and if I do again it will be because my pain couldn't outlast the indecisive corperate one size fits all treatment.
 
L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,047
They don't want death but a living death is fine
Sometimes life can be so cruel that a soul will pray for death.
Oh God, why must these men know sorrow with every breath.

Hank Williams, Sr. - "Men With Broken Hearts"
 
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