Episodes make me wanna ctb

[jeNNy111]

Hi, new gal here. Few years back i was diagnosed with BPD. I´m taking some therapy, but it´s not doing too much for me, nor it did.

I have these promiscuous episodes, and i genuinly think im happy. It can be few weeks up to month. I don´t change partners often, if im in relationship i don´t cheat. Though i had 2-3 episodes where i changed quite a few. After that episode of feeling like a slut, like a lesser being kicks in and i feel so bad. It has ruined my relationsihp, as romantic so did with other ppl. I feel bad and i wanna just to ctb now.

I don´t know what do or how.

 

[Lorthan]

Hello,

I understand you so much cause I got BPD too...

This disease has changed my life so much and it's quite difficult to live with it everyday.

I'm in a down episode since last august and life is more and more complicated.

I really hope you will find peace

 

[reticulator]

Yes! I have bipolar but my depressive episodes last much longer than my manic ones, although my manic ones basically managed to fuck up my life and dig myself into a whole I can't get out of.

When I'm manic I think I'm Superman and can do anything I want to do, but the depressive reality always comes crashing right back!

The thing was, that before the pandemic I wasn't a total failure. I didn't live up to my intellectual potential at all but I was able to hold a steady job somehow (with difficulty) and with the meds I was taking.

The pandemic and the stress of that made me totally lose my mind, and ever since then I've only been able to do gig work to barely survive. It was actually really good for a couple years! It was profitable and I was able to do okay but that all changed. I have a son now too , and that's keeping me going for now. I feel horrible that I brought him into this situation though. I thought I was getting better and could handle it all, but so wrong I was

Been dealing with these issues since I hit puberty, so 13-14. There's a big genetic component and my dad also treated my mom like shit, always. Now the days are long and agonizing.
I fe

Yes! I have bipolar but my depressive episodes last much longer than my manic ones, although my manic ones basically managed to fuck up my life and dig myself into a whole I can't get out of.

When I'm manic I think I'm Superman and can do anything I want to do, but the depressive reality always comes crashing right back!

The thing was, that before the pandemic I wasn't a total failure. I didn't live up to my intellectual potential at all but I was able to hold a steady job somehow (with difficulty) and with the meds I was taking.

The pandemic and the stress of that made me totally lose my mind, and ever since then I've only been able to do gig work to barely survive. It was actually really good for a couple years! It was profitable and I was able to do okay but that all changed. I have a son now too , and that's keeping me going for now. I feel horrible that I brought him into this situation though. I thought I was getting better and could handle it all, but so wrong I was

Been dealing with these issues since I hit puberty, so 13-14. There's a big genetic component and my dad also treated my mom like shit, always. Now the days are long and agonizin

Hello,

I understand you so much cause I got BPD too...

This disease has changed my life so much and it's quite difficult to live with it everyday.

I'm in a down episode since last august and life is more and more complicated.

I really hope you will find peace

It's a horrible disease, I have it too. There's a reason 50-60 percent of people with it end up CTB.