Discussion Envy over others dying

[nuggetfinder]

I think the title is pretty self explanatory but ill specify. At my lowest (So right now lmao) I always start to feel envious when I hear about other people passing away. It could be anyone, a friend of a friend or even a stranger on the Internet. I hate that it was them instead of me, often because they're usually people who wanted to stay alive. I don't understand why they had to go when I've been wanting to ctb for years now. I always wish that it was me. Does anyone else tend to feel this way?

 

[Liebestod]

Yeah I relate to that actually, I just want to be gone right now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I always and only envy those who no longer suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence as all I want is to be gone, for me non-existence is just all that's positive, I'd just never wish for this existence I always saw as a mistake that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I wish and hope to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, to me existence really is the problem, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist.

 

[Ligottian]

I look down on my parents graves with envy.

 

[salviap]

I think the title is pretty self explanatory but ill specify. At my lowest (So right now lmao) I always start to feel envious when I hear about other people passing away. It could be anyone, a friend of a friend or even a stranger on the Internet. I hate that it was them instead of me, often because they're usually people who wanted to stay alive. I don't understand why they had to go when I've been wanting to ctb for years now. I always wish that it was me. Does anyone else tend to feel this way?

Very often. I have recently found myself in some odd perpetual loop of depression, and an overwhelming desire to pass. No measurement of CNS-depressing drugs seem to mitigate my SI.

 

[princexhhn]

My sister died last year. It should have been me

 

[nuggetfinder]

I look down on my parents graves with envy.

I look down at my grandparents' graves with envy, I get it. I'm very sorry for your loss though.

My sister died last year. It should have been me

I understand where you're coming from, I seriously hope she rests in peace.

 

[salviap]

My sister died last year. It should have been me

i'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

More and more.
I would happily take Charlie Kirks place. I'm never in the right place whenever mass shootings happen either