Venting Enough is enough

[tbroken]

I hate my life and my hometown so much. I have always been a kind guy, someone that just wanted to live and have success in studies/work and life and not interested in bothering others.
I'm not that serious and gloomy, I'm quite the opposite tbh, but I hate how some ppl are so cruel and completely disrespect others.
Due to my father's problems and some injuries that i faced during youth, i developed CPTSD. I could not speak out, i didn't trust anyone, especially because the ppl in my hometown are generally ignorant, bigot or evil.
My family is not that bad, they are pretty much all technicians or artists, but i can see clearly now, that first of all they are boomers and the worst part is that they've been totally brainwashed from this stupid middle-class-narcissistic-bigot residential area we live in and all the ignorance of my hometown.
Although the fact that I'm objectively a good person and I'm also good in what i do, my mother just called me 'mad', but she did it in a very rude and poor way that it was really painful. I can assure you that the ppl that live in the surroundings are even worse.
She also never ever apologized to me for all the shit i had to endure my whole life and i think she is just a stupid frustrated narcissist bi**h.
Having this fractured self and not trusting anybody are imo the worst feelings a human being can experience in life.

Thanks to all of this sh*t, I developed SERIOUS trust issues and I really cannot stand anyone anymore. I'm thinking about two different scenarios: get a job on an oil platform or something like that and enjoy my free time in pubs and traveling the world or ctb. What do you think? Does anyone on this forum have a job like this or got to the same conclusion?

 

[sanitystruggle]

If you're up for it then try the job for a while. It doesn't reduce your options and it might give you new perspectives away from your hometown. Given enough time it could even provide the resources to leave permanently and find somewhere to be that you enjoy more.

 

[tbroken]

If you're up for it then try the job for a while. It doesn't reduce your options and it might give you new perspectives away from your hometown. Given enough time it could even provide the resources to leave permanently and find somewhere to be that you enjoy more.

I already did this when i was younger, at 24. It really had a good impact on me, i totally quit smoking and I also start running at semi-pro level, it was the best period of my life. I really cannot stop thinking that mainland is screw*ed and ppl are becoming worse and worse every single day.