N
nobo156
New Member
- Oct 8, 2023
- 1
Hey everyone, my first time posting on here.
I have often thought about suicide due to my mental health issues, however, just as much as I think of CTB I consider another option: abandoning worldly things to lead a spiritual life in pursuit of enlightenment. I am speaking of enlightenment in the "non-dual" sense (like in Zen Buddhism or neo-Advaita), which in my paradigm means experientially knowing the following at all times:
Achieving enlightenment would take a lot of meditation and likely going to spiritual retreats, getting advice from teachers, etc. It definitely takes more work than just ending one's life, but I feel like it's worth it to try. Thoughts?
(My apologies if this post is incoherent or sounds pretentious. I find it hard to express my thoughts clearly and I honestly have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense. Also, if anyone is interested in learning more about this stuff, check out the blog "awakening to reality" or reddit's r/streamentry)
I have often thought about suicide due to my mental health issues, however, just as much as I think of CTB I consider another option: abandoning worldly things to lead a spiritual life in pursuit of enlightenment. I am speaking of enlightenment in the "non-dual" sense (like in Zen Buddhism or neo-Advaita), which in my paradigm means experientially knowing the following at all times:
- There is no entity known as "I". "I" am a collection of thoughts, memories, sensations in the body, emotions, etc. There is also no clear boundary separating what constitutes "me" as opposed to the "outside world".
- The only constant and unchanging thing in all of existence is awareness itself. At the most basic level, each of us is just awareness experiencing bodies and worlds.
- There is nobody/nothing controlling "my" body or mind. Thoughts arise on their own, the body moves around on its own, etc. Everything that happens is predetermined and nobody has any agency.
- Nothing that happens can affect "me". For example, if there is pain in the body, there is no-one the pain is "happening to". There's just pain being experienced.
- No experience is objectively positive or negative. It's all just "things" appearing in awareness.
Achieving enlightenment would take a lot of meditation and likely going to spiritual retreats, getting advice from teachers, etc. It definitely takes more work than just ending one's life, but I feel like it's worth it to try. Thoughts?
(My apologies if this post is incoherent or sounds pretentious. I find it hard to express my thoughts clearly and I honestly have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense. Also, if anyone is interested in learning more about this stuff, check out the blog "awakening to reality" or reddit's r/streamentry)