Discussion Enlightening, know you get to choose how and when

[wherestheexit]

It's rather enlightening knowing I get to choose how and when I finally 'ctb' as you say.

Ordered my 'poison' this evening and being honest there was a sense of excitement, mixed with a dash of ….. guilt maybe.

Should hopefully be here next week, early next week. I aim to set everything in order then sit back and consume as many seeds as I can manage along with Milk of Magnesia to relive/reduce the nausea.

I'm expecting some pain but within 5hrs or less it should be all over and I can become a memory to family.
I have guilt, knowing I'll be leaving my kids without their dad, but after 30 plus years of masking, hiding and dealing with this I just can't take much more.

Research suggests within 30mins the effects should take hold and once they do it's irreversible, no known antidote.

 

[Darkover]

whats the name of the seeds you are using to ctb

 

[HealMyBrain]

Following. I've never heard about seeds being used for CTB, so I'm curious.

 

[wherestheexit]

Yew tree seeds, English yew tree(Taxus Baccata)

Releases a cardio blocker, slowing the heart rate until a stop

 

[Darkover]

Yew tree seeds, English yew tree(Taxus Baccata)

Releases a cardio blocker, slowing the heart rate until a stop

how many seeds do you need to eat for it to be fatal

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relieved knowing you will have a way to permanently be free from all the suffering existing brings, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Tesha]

Yew tree seeds, English yew tree(Taxus Baccata)

Releases a cardio blocker, slowing the heart rate until a stop

There's other threads on here about yew seeds, that may be useful for you to minimise the pain. Would be worth doing a search if you haven't already.

 

[wherestheexit]

I'm still a new member and currently waiting for the much fabled search bar to appear

how many seeds do you need to eat for it to be fatal

By my calculations based on my body weight not many at all circa 10 but I'll be taking around 50-100 to ensure it's done, hopefully speed up the process too