I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but it isn't a good idea to CTB just "willy-nilly", out of the blue, with no real plan or preparation. Impulse suicide rarely works out. It's hard to CTB. It's as hard, or even harder, than living. It takes a lot of reading, finding a method you're comfortable with, studying about that method and learning all you can, asking questions, and planning. In many cases it even takes "practicing" to make sure you can get it right. I'm sorry you're hurting so much and that life has brought you to make such a difficult decision for yourself.