Venting emotional vs calm/logical suicide

[izzyisgoingtodie]

this isnt like other times
when something happened that would send me into a depressive spiral, whether it was something serious or something minor
i would be extremely emotional, barely able to keep myself together. crying screaming that i wanted to die over nothing

but now that my medication blunts my emotions i dont get like this anymore
now i KNOW that suicide is the right choice for me and there is nothing that will change that

im going to jump in front of a train on monday
no i dont care about what the driver sees

 

[houseofleaves]

i think i get it. suicide as a rational choice. i admire your bravery.

 

[Angi]

I am very sorry to hear the pain in your voice and I very much hope that sharing here can take some of it away.

I agree that suicide should be a rational choice. You are making a very important decision and you are likely to fail and face painful consequences if the attempt is not well thought out.

Your life is yours and noone can tell you what to do with it. Please be aware though, you do sound emotional, not rational. You are choosing a method which left many people alive and dismembered, even some people you will meet on SS. Also, you say you do not care about harming someone else. You could take some time to calm down and take care of yourself. This could include reading up on the safer methods described on this site. Your life, your choice.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, I think that wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world like this. Just because someone wants to die does not mean they are always 'mentally ill' I do not see life as being worth living and I know that for a fact, the future will just get worse. It is pointless me being alive. Dying is what makes sense for me and after all life is so horrifying. Non existence takes away the misery that I currently experience and also prevents future suffering. To me non existence will always be objectively more preferable to any kind of life.

The train method does sound like an painful way to go, one that I could never get the courage for, but the fact that this method traumatises others is the fault of the society for denying peaceful ways to exit. It would be wrong to call a suffering suicidal person selfish for choosing the train method. Instead the society is the problem.
I wish you relief from pain, none of us deserve to suffer in life.

 

[izzyisgoingtodie]

I am very sorry to hear the pain in your voice and I very much hope that sharing here can take some of it away.

I agree that suicide should be a rational choice. You are making a very important decision and you are likely to fail and face painful consequences if the attempt is not well thought out.

Your life is yours and noone can tell you what to do with it. Please be aware though, you do sound emotional, not rational. You are choosing a method which left many people alive and dismembered, even some people you will meet on SS. Also, you say you do not care about harming someone else. You could take some time to calm down and take care of yourself. This could include reading up on the safer methods described on this site. Your life, your choice.

thank you for your reply
I am going to be using a more thought out method

To me, I think that wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world like this. Just because someone wants to die does not mean they are always 'mentally ill' I do not see life as being worth living and I know that for a fact, the future will just get worse. It is pointless me being alive. Dying is what makes sense for me and after all life is so horrifying. Non existence takes away the misery that I currently experience and also prevents future suffering. To me non existence will always be objectively more preferable to any kind of life.

The train method does sound like an painful way to go, one that I could never get the courage for, but the fact that this method traumatises others is the fault of the society for denying peaceful ways to exit. It would be wrong to call a suffering suicidal person selfish for choosing the train method. Instead the society is the problem.
I wish you relief from pain, none of us deserve to suffer in life.

we arent sick or "mentally ill", i dont have a chemical fucking imbalance
the world is sick and this is a perfectly rational reaction to society and its failures

i have a change of plan, anyway
trying to get my hands on this SN stuff
seems like a much better way to go than train method

 

[Euthanza]

Thank you for being more thoughtful and please consider to give yourself some easy time. I wish you peace and dignity.

 

[izzyisgoingtodie]

Thank you for being more thoughtful and please consider to give yourself some easy time. I wish you peace and dignity.

thank you

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

this isnt like other times
when something happened that would send me into a depressive spiral, whether it was something serious or something minor
i would be extremely emotional, barely able to keep myself together. crying screaming that i wanted to die over nothing

but now that my medication blunts my emotions i dont get like this anymore
now i KNOW that suicide is the right choice for me and there is nothing that will change that

im going to jump in front of a train on monday
no i dont care about what the driver sees

this method isn't that reliable - if I was going to do this I would make sure it's a very fast train, or personally, I would put my neck on the track - I'm not telling you what to do, or not to do at all, but this method can leave one vegetated, after bouncing off the train and flying off into bushes to lie in pain for a while, then end up so fucked up that you can't ever attempt CTB again - I would always go for neck on the track, chin against inside of rail held tight, and ignore the train's horn else risk vegetation by pulling away at the last second - again, I'm not telling you what to do, at all

 

[izzyisgoingtodie]

this method isn't that reliable - if I was going to do this I would make sure it's a very fast train, or personally, I would put my neck on the track - I'm not telling you what to do, or not to do at all, but this method can leave one vegetated, after bouncing off the train and flying off into bushes to lie in pain for a while, then end up so fucked up that you can't ever attempt CTB again - I would always go for neck on the track, chin against inside of rail held tight, and ignore the train's horn else risk vegetation by pulling away at the last second - again, I'm not telling you what to do, at all

yes my plan is to wait for an express train going through the station
very very fast

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

yes my plan is to wait for an express train going through the station
very very fast

I hope everything works out for you and you get everything you want