Emotional Abuse.. (Venting)

[idonthavetobehere]

I am here because I have reached the tipping point where I am trapped in an emotionally abusive situation.

Backstory:

I currently have agoraphobia and have been unable to work or anything. I live with family, my mom who doesn't understand my depression...she doesn't have any interest in my mental health, either. She seems to not think any of it exists. She goes silent at random times too, when she is offended...at her own children.

The person I am forced to share a space with, who I thought was a BFF to me, my sister - will go silent on me without reason as well. This has been something I have expressed hurts me very bad for years and she's always got an explanation for why she does it. I tried to worked with it because now we have no choice but to share a room together.

She did this towards the end of last month and I was the first to approach her about what the problem was,.. we talked it out and I explained to her that I have anxiety that it will happen again and she said she will try not to. I expressed to her that this makes me feel depressed and everything over and over.

She acknowledged that she knows my emotions are more intense than hers, that she has seen the abuse I've endured from narcissists in the entertainment industry and etc. Yet, she continues to twist the knife in.

So, yesterday...

I was venting to her, emotionally, to let her know what was going on, (she claimed to want me to do this and claimed she appreciated it. She said she would dislike it if I kept things to myself or stayed silent).. but after I got done, she completely said nothing and there's was an awkward silence that lasted the entire day and night.


Out of nowhere after venting to her how depressed and unappreciated I felt at times due to a situation that happened with my mom, she went silent again. It was not an attack on her at all. I was in the middle of crying and having an emotional meltdown. It feels incredibly freaking selfish on her part.

She broke down a few times and I was there to console her and everything since we moved here.

I ordered her some food later on in the day because she said the food we had for dinner made her sick. I at first thought of not doing it but I could not help it because I felt guilty if she would have been hungry. She got her food and still has not said a word to me. She didn't thank me or anything.


We are now on Day 2 of her not even acknowledging I'm alive and there is nowhere else for me to go but to find a permanent way to end this cycle.

I refuse to share a room with her and since my mom acts like her, I will be the bad guy if an argument breaks out. It will be a waste of my energy and breath to have yet another long conversation with her because she will only return to her ways.

I am also out of energy being the first person to speak when I'm not the one who started this cycle of the silent treatment, to begin with.

My sister is very cold and cruel to treat me like this over and over, especially because she acknowledges that she hates when people do that to her and she knows what I've been through with others who do this, even our mom.

I told her it makes me wanna die when she does this and by her repeatedly doing it, shows she doesn't prioritize me the way she wanted me to believe. She does not care if it makes me feel so bad that I wanna die. She doesn't care.

I've come to the conclusion, that I've been wasting my time working things out and going out of my way to do things for her, which is devastating.


My family is completely emotionally self absorbed that I am sure I will be doing us all a favor if/when I find a satisfiable method to ctb.

All of my life, I keep attracting people who do the silent treatment without me having a clue what the issue is. I always give people the courtesy of knowing what my problem is so we can work it out. It's like I attract these people and I have no clue why and I'm tired of it.



I've had enough of this. I've just had it. There's no other way out. I am sick of the abuse. I cannot live in this kind of state and there is absolutely nowhere for me to go. I don't have any friends, a job or any money. I just moved to a new state.

I'm not looking for advice. I am just needing to vent. So I'm here while I'm figuring methods because I can't do this anymore.

 

[Someone123]

she has seen the abuse I've endured from narcissists in the entertainment industry and etc.

This is a onfusing statement- how you worked in this industry, do you knwo these people personally?
Thi silent tratment ios very abusive- some people have no limits to their mental cruelty- I've been through other kinds of mental and emotional abuse- I'd much rather have physical abuse, so you can see where the wounds are- and show them to others.

 

[idonthavetobehere]

This is a onfusing statement- how you worked in this industry, do you knwo these people personally?
Thi silent tratment ios very abusive- some people have no limits to their mental cruelty- I've been through other kinds of mental and emotional abuse- I'd much rather have physical abuse, so you can see where the wounds are- and show them to others.

I know a few of them personally from the past and two of them turned out to be not who they present to the public.


Now, I have no life at all & am stuck in the house, forced to share a room with someone who insists on giving me the silent treatment, despite me not doing anything to that person. It's absolutely a devastating feeling and she just does not care. She was the only friend I had left and it seems she wasn't a friend at all.

I just wanna find a method that's successful and has the least amount of discomfort and that is my current position at the moment. There is nothing in this life that's worth it at this point.

I needed my family and they can't be there.

 

[Someone123]

I just wanna find a method that's successful and has the least amount of discomfort and that is my current position at the moment. There is nothing in this life that's worth it at this point.

I understand how you feel, that seems to be how most people here feel. Are you able to get a job? Maybe some social connection here could help some.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so much, it sounds so dreadful being in that situation. This life really is so cruel and unfair. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[idonthavetobehere]

Thank you, me too. I'm not able to get a job due to agoraphobia and panic disorder. My mental health ruined my life but things weren't always this way. Anyways, thanks guys. I'm able to get any tools I'll need depending on the method I go with. It's just a matter of deciding.