Emergency visits alone are character building

[easypeasy]

I'm in emergency department at the moment. My reasons for CTB, if you don't know, are chronic pain. Yesterday, I couldn't eat anything. In the afternoon, I started throwing up black chunks of what looked like my insides.

Being an independent person, I did what I could to manage and administer anti-nausea medication, which wouldn't stay down. Eventually, the health line told me that due to my symptoms, I needed an ambulance. So I came to emergency in an ambulance at 3 a.m. It's now 7 a.m. I'm yet to see a doctor. They gave me an intravenous medication to line my stomach. I shaven't eaten in 24 hours, which is difficult as my pain medication makes me feel very unwell if I don't have food with it. So I've gone without. Sitting in this emergency room, which looks like an apocalyptic nightmare, alone, reminds me why I'm on this site. I'm lucky I've got beautiful friends. But being part of a family of six, but never being a priority, because I was always the independent, smart one from left to fend for myself…hit me for a small moment sitting in that waiting room. A few cathartic tears were shed. I don't post to ask for sympathy…just to vent…to people who I know "get it".

Luckily, my friends are also smart and independent, but like me, they have their own problems. And you can't outsource pain.

I've since been discharged and I'm grateful for that. I won't share pictures of what I threw up on an empty stomach. But it was black. And scary!

If you like gross stuff,Pm me and I'll show photos :)

 

[HelloDarkness25]

It sucks to be alone in the ER or hospital - been there, done that, don't recommend. I hope you are feeling better now. So sad that being part of large family doesn't mean you won't be alone when you are at your most vulnerable point.
Love your sense of humor btw!

 

[mango-meridian]

Did they figure out what was wrong? It sounds serious.

 

[easypeasy]

It sucks to be alone in the ER or hospital - been there, done that, don't recommend. I hope you are feeling better now. So sad that being part of large family doesn't mean you won't be alone when you are at your most vulnerable point.
Love your sense of humor btw!

Thanks for your kind words )))

Did they figure out what was wrong? It sounds serious.

We suspect that my stomach wasn't emptying completely due to some medication I take regularly. The damage that was done caused hyper acidity but the black tar is still a mystery. Pantoprazole in an IV helped enough so I could swallow medication.

im also in the midst of moving so it's a lot but I'm very grateful to be back at home having an evening sloth session.

 

[CatLvr]

OMG!! I could have written this word for word, right down to the side effects if my pain meds, being alone at the hospital and never getting any real answers from the doctors.

I don't even need to PM you for pics! Lol Because I already know what you threw up looks like! BTDT!

Try a spoonful of greek yogurt, or a swallow of a creamy protein shake, every once in a while (sometimes I can only manage a swallow every couple of hours.). That will help coat your stomach and protect it from the meds. Also, when you take your meds drink as much water as you can stand. It helps dilute the meds concentration in your stomach and kind of thin it out, if that makes any sense. I am not sure how to explain it, only that it helps me.

You have my all the comforting energy I can send you.

 

[NegevChina]

Sorry to hear the suffering you're going through, sounds so tough being in the ER or any part of hospital alone. Hope you're better now

 

[easypeasy]

OMG!! I could have written this word for word, right down to the side effects if my pain meds, being alone at the hospital and never getting any real answers from the doctors.

I don't even need to PM you for pics! Lol Because I already know what you threw up looks like! BTDT!

Try a spoonful of greek yogurt, or a swallow of a creamy protein shake, every once in a while (sometimes I can only manage a swallow every couple of hours.). That will help coat your stomach and protect it from the meds. Also, when you take your meds drink as much water as you can stand. It helps dilute the meds concentration in your stomach and kind of thin it out, if that makes any sense. I am not sure how to explain it, only that it helps me.

You have my all the comforting energy I can send you.

Wow!! Thank you so much!! I'm also planning on getting some baby food to keep on hand as it's very bland and easy to digest. Things like apple puree or beef and veggie puree. Thanks for your comment!!!!!

 

[areyousafe??]

I hope that you are feeling better today.

 

[easypeasy]

I hope that you are feeling better today.

I am, thank you

 

[lachrymost]

I hate the responsibility to fight so hard for our health.

I don't want to deal with the upkeep and inevitable downfall of my body. I don't want to always be wondering when something else is going to fail, and how to manage that with everything else that's already failing, and the stress of researching my own medical care and trying to prevent doctors from making mistakes. The humiliating poking and prodding from strangers and waiting and anxiety and the medical records that will outlive me. I'd much, much, much rather be dead. It makes me so angry. I'm not that bad off yet, but the downward trajectory has certainly started. It astonishes me how much people are willing to put up with. This is not for me.

 

[easypeasy]

I hate the responsibility to fight so hard for our health.

I don't want to deal with the upkeep and inevitable downfall of my body. I don't want to always be wondering when something else is going to fail, and how to manage that with everything else that's already failing, and the stress of researching my own medical care and trying to prevent doctors from making mistakes. The humiliating poking and prodding from strangers and waiting and anxiety and the medical records that will outlive me. I'd much, much, much rather be dead. It makes me so angry. I'm not that bad off yet, but the downward trajectory has certainly started. It astonishes me how much people are willing to put up with. This is not for me.

I have no words for you. Yours were so so powerful. You're a brave soul and I know you weren't given a choice in what cards you were dealt but you're still incredibly strong and brave.