ShinyScissors

ShinyScissors

Another artist who wants to die
Feb 8, 2023
59
I only possess the ability to ✨oof✨ myself whenever I'm having mania. I came down from that high and I'm feeling pretty bummed. I really wanna fucking die but I need that emotional intensity headspace to actually follow through.

I can only ctb on impulse so I'll never have a planned date. It'll be pretty random whenever I have a triggered episode i suppose. But usually during an episode I'm immobile, curled up in a ball and loosing it. I was thinking about crafting my own noose to have on hand for times like these. Personally, I don't think I could slit my throat or wrists as a way to cbt. My housemates said if I die in their home they'll be mad or if I leave all my belongings for them to clean up lmao. It's too much planning ahead to sort that out.

I'm dead set on this. Fate will not decide my death but I will. Anyone have ideas for quick cbt methods on hand? Thanks.

Ps my preferred way to cbt is by jumping but I don't really have a good and completely lethal place nearby to do it
 
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lillmonix3

lillmonix3

Death as an end in itself
Aug 14, 2023
99
And what about the early purchase, for example, SN? And when you want to do it, just mix the cocktail and goodbye neighbors .You can also think about partial suspension.It is quite fast and simple. It is only necessary to practice and find a suitable place and position of the body and the rope.
Good luck
 
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ShinyScissors

ShinyScissors

Another artist who wants to die
Feb 8, 2023
59
And what about the early purchase, for example, SN? And when you want to do it, just mix the cocktail and goodbye neighbors .You can also think about partial suspension.It is quite fast and simple. It is only necessary to practice and find a suitable place and position of the body and the rope.
Good luck
Idk where to get SN though, I've found some people providing sources but they keep getting ratted out because the sellers close down
 
lillmonix3

lillmonix3

Death as an end in itself
Aug 14, 2023
99
Idk where to get SN though, I've found some people providing sources but they keep getting ratted out because the sellers close down
I have several ideas where to get it.I have family and friends in Ukraine, you can buy it there without any problems But I'm afraid that customs take it away.Plus, they can send me antiemetics.
 
The Burning Fool

The Burning Fool

Falling through the abyss of insanity
Sep 12, 2023
289
Is fentanyl, heroin, ketamine, GHB or alcohol easily accessible for you? How open are you to intravenous or rectal administration of a lethal dose? I'm not sure all of these would work in all combinations, so I'd research them first. If I had money for the substance, the syringes or an enema kit, and access to an undisturbed environment, then I'd consider no other method whatsoever.
 
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lillmonix3

lillmonix3

Death as an end in itself
Aug 14, 2023
99
Idk where to get SN though, I've found some people providing sources but they keep getting ratted out because the sellers close down
I sometimes explore my city for a place to jump from.There are many high places, but there is no access to the roof, for example.This is quite upsetting.There is a high bridge, but I don't want to jump into the water. I prefer concrete or asphalt.
 
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SubtleWinds

SubtleWinds

Member
Sep 15, 2023
9
I only possess the ability to ✨oof✨ myself whenever I'm having mania. I came down from that high and I'm feeling pretty bummed. I really wanna fucking die but I need that emotional intensity headspace to actually follow through.

I can only ctb on impulse so I'll never have a planned date. It'll be pretty random whenever I have a triggered episode i suppose. But usually during an episode I'm immobile, curled up in a ball and loosing it. I was thinking about crafting my own noose to have on hand for times like these. Personally, I don't think I could slit my throat or wrists as a way to cbt. My housemates said if I die in their home they'll be mad or if I leave all my belongings for them to clean up lmao. It's too much planning ahead to sort that out.

I'm dead set on this. Fate will not decide my death but I will. Anyone have ideas for quick cbt methods on hand? Thanks.

Ps my preferred way to cbt is by jumping but I don't really have a good and completely lethal place nearby to do it
Hi, I'm new here and interested-- what do you know so far? Can you talk to me so I can learn the ins and outs of all this stuff?
 
U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
Definitely nothing like OD then.
Stuff like SN is way to slow and unreliable for serious method.

I like the idea of a kit too, for when I can overcome my SI.

If its something super fast and painless I can't think of much though.. I'm in UK so a gun is a definite no.

H2S method would need about 2L of liquid so probably too big for a 'KIT'

KcN is another option, it's quite easy to get, but might be illegal to carry around here in UK and I don't need that hassle again.

Maybe a nice soft padded rope and a screw in hook for a ceiling so I could use it anywhere?

I really like the idea of kit, so interesting to see other ideas.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,535
Acting impulsively isn't a good idea in any case. Most suicide methods need preparations and have high failure rates in an impulsive attempt anyway.

The only suicide kit that works isn't painless at all but very effective. Cyanide capsules with a few grams of cyanide. Once ingested it's over within minutes bc there is no antidote.
 
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ShinyScissors

ShinyScissors

Another artist who wants to die
Feb 8, 2023
59
Acting impulsively isn't a good idea in any case. Most suicide methods need preparations and have high failure rates in an impulsive attempt anyway.

The only suicide kit that works isn't painless at all but very effective. Cyanide capsules with a few grams of cyanide. Once ingested it's over within minutes bc there is no antidote.
Where can I find some? I can do my own research but I'd like a general idea thanks
Definitely nothing like OD then.
Stuff like SN is way to slow and unreliable for serious method.

I like the idea of a kit too, for when I can overcome my SI.

If its something super fast and painless I can't think of much though.. I'm in UK so a gun is a definite no.

H2S method would need about 2L of liquid so probably too big for a 'KIT'

KcN is another option, it's quite easy to get, but might be illegal to carry around here in UK and I don't need that hassle again.

Maybe a nice soft padded rope and a screw in hook for a ceiling so I could use it anywhere?

I really like the idea of kit, so interesting to see other ideas.
I don't have access to a firearm due to my psychiatric history. I'm from the US if it helps. Honestly prep is getting so complicated maybe a rope and hook will suffice
I sometimes explore my city for a place to jump from.There are many high places, but there is no access to the roof, for example.This is quite upsetting.There is a high bridge, but I don't want to jump into the water. I prefer concrete or asphalt.
Yea my brother successfully ctb by falling off of an airport parking lot. The closest one to me is an hour away though but I think about it a lot
Is fentanyl, heroin, ketamine, GHB or alcohol easily accessible for you? How open are you to intravenous or rectal administration of a lethal dose? I'm not sure all of these would work in all combinations, so I'd research them first. If I had money for the substance, the syringes or an enema kit, and access to an undisturbed environment, then I'd consider no other method whatsoever.
I have alcohol accessible to me. I am petrified of syringes though. How much can you drink for ctb?
I have several ideas where to get it.I have family and friends in Ukraine, you can buy it there without any problems But I'm afraid that customs take it away.Plus, they can send me antiemetics.
Oh dope thanks for the info. Hopefully it's not too expensive but it'll be very handy to have
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,535
Where can I find some? I can do my own research but I'd like a general idea thanks
Either you can buy it somewhere or you have to make it on your own. But be careful if you are considering this because this is not only dangerous for you but also for other people. Not tecommended without any lab experience.

 
wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
987
I don't have access to a firearm due to my psychiatric history.
Do you know for sure that you can't pass a background check, or are you relying on information that could be old, non-official, or challengeable?
 

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