H
heylightiforgot
Experienced
- Apr 30, 2019
- 256
I may have to CTB very soon, as my physical health/functioning is declining rapidly and I'm losing the ability to take care of myself. My social worker wants me to admit myself to hospital, which would be an utter nightmare for someone with my condition (very severe CFS/ME), and it is really not unheard of for people to die while under hospital 'care', and I would much rather take control of my own fate. I'm severely intolerant to noise, stimuli etc. My family don't really give a shit or comprehend how sick I am and just leave me to completely look after myself. I feel utterly trapped, and was stupid enough to throw out my SN a few months ago (because I was worried I might take it impulsively).
My options are very limited, especially because it's just hard for me to get out and do things (e.g. couldn't really go shopping for rope).
Is there anything even vaguely 'peaceful' that I could fall back on, especially if things reach a crisis point and I have to do it quickly? Right now, there's:
1. Drowning .. I live near the ocean, but can't imagine this would be pleasant at all.
2. Could try hang on to get my sleeping med refilled (a week or so), as I've mentioned before that I've read accounts where people in ill health have died from relatively low doses of Zopicline (though this is unpredictable and not sure if it would attract attention? Our house is very small).
3. Partial suspension with a belt? Seems like the best option, and hey all the celebrities are doing it, but we live in a flimsy modern townhouse and I just don't know where I would attach the belt. Nothing seems strong enough to support my weight.
My options are very limited, especially because it's just hard for me to get out and do things (e.g. couldn't really go shopping for rope).
Is there anything even vaguely 'peaceful' that I could fall back on, especially if things reach a crisis point and I have to do it quickly? Right now, there's:
1. Drowning .. I live near the ocean, but can't imagine this would be pleasant at all.
2. Could try hang on to get my sleeping med refilled (a week or so), as I've mentioned before that I've read accounts where people in ill health have died from relatively low doses of Zopicline (though this is unpredictable and not sure if it would attract attention? Our house is very small).
3. Partial suspension with a belt? Seems like the best option, and hey all the celebrities are doing it, but we live in a flimsy modern townhouse and I just don't know where I would attach the belt. Nothing seems strong enough to support my weight.