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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
Hi you guys!

To begin with. I am thinking and scheming about my suicide for years now. And knowing that there is a way out if things got too bad was the only thing calming me down. Now I have followed this forum for a time now and recently tried the CO method. Of course I fucked up....I had to cut myself out of the room I had perfectly sealed with ducttape because it simply felt like pouring pure fire down my throat.
I am now beginning to set up for the darknet to acquire opioids there, but that is very tricky and risky too.
The fact that killing myself is really hard (like when you are not in crisis but simply rationally decide to do so due to decades of suffering) feels so horrible. I can't put it in words.
I have talked to my therapist and she understands my plans of suicide because my situation really is hopeless. (it would take too long to go into details).
we talked about methods. she didn't advise me because she is not allowed to do that but medically speaking she thinks that there is a great chance of success with electrocution in a bathtub (like a hairdryer) even if there is an FI in the apartment. I was amazed by that because I have read everything in this forum about this topic and it seems like this method is not recommended.
Of course I would take a great deal of painkillers and all sorts of drugs I can get my hands on beforehand.
Have you guys any new thoughts about this method? Or is anyone willing to further discuss that?
nice greetings
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
I have talked to my therapist and she understands my plans of suicide because my situation really is hopeless. (it would take too long to go into details).
we talked about methods. she didn't advise me because she is not allowed to do that but medically speaking she thinks that there is a great chance of success with electrocution in a bathtub (like a hairdryer) even if there is an FI in the apartment. I was amazed by that because I have read everything in this forum about this topic and it seems like this method is not recommended.
Sorry to be blunt, but I think your therapist is a moron
 
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BottomlessPit

BottomlessPit

Staring at the edge
Apr 28, 2021
423
The fact that killing myself is really hard (like when you are not in crisis but simply rationally decide to do so due to decades of suffering) feels so horrible. I can't put it in words.
Feeling this on another level right now.

About the electrocution method: I have to agree with hotelbeneathground. Even professionally done executions by electrocution were botched in the past, much to the dismay of the prisoner. Being cooked/roasted alive for who knows how long doesn't sound pleasant, even with painkillers.

Have you taken a look at N or SN? You don't even need the darknet for the latter...
 
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S

sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
Sorry to be blunt, but I think your therapist is a moron
That may be but she is the best one I have got so far. I have had at least 12-15 different ones as I can rember in the past. I don't know what it is....maybe the education for psychiatrists in my country is not very high standard or maybe I am just a difficult partient...I don't know.
But what do you mean specifically? Her take on electrocution in a bathtub?
nice greetings
Feeling this on another level right now.

About the electrocution method: I have to agree with hotelbeneathground. Even professionally done executions by electrocution were botched in the past, much to the dismay of the prisoner. Being cooked/roasted alive for who knows how long doesn't sound pleasant, even with painkillers.

Have you taken a look at N or SN? You don't even need the darknet for the latter...
SN is not available without a poison licence in my country I have already contacted different chemical vendors on the clearnet and I can't find it on the darknet as it is no drug.
Also...I don't know how you feel about that but taking SN is still like taking poison and I much rather take something that tells my brain to stop breathing or stop my heart like electrocution. Somehow that is more appealing to me.
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
That may be but she is the best one I have got so far. I have had at least 12-15 different ones as I can rember in the past. I don't know what it is....maybe the education for psychiatrists in my country is not very high standard or maybe I am just a difficult partient...I don't know.
But what do you mean specifically? Her take on electrocution in a bathtub?
nice greetings

SN is not available without a poison licence in my country I have already contacted different chemical vendors on the clearnet and I can't find it on the darknet as it is no drug.
Also...I don't
That may be but she is the best one I have got so far. I have had at least 12-15 different ones as I can rember in the past. I don't know what it is....maybe the education for psychiatrists in my country is not very high standard or maybe I am just a difficult partient...I don't know.
But what do you mean specifically? Her take on electrocution in a bathtub?
nice greetings

SN is not available without a poison licence in my country I have already contacted different chemical vendors on the clearnet and I can't find it on the darknet as it is no drug.
Also...I don't

Yes, the hairdryer in the tub stuff is scary dumb :I
But I have read a newspaper article recently where a woman died by accident because her charger fell into the bathtub. are you an electrician or why are you so sure about that? at this point I might really try that because I am desperate. What do you think the worst case szenario is? It doesn't work and it just feels like I have been hit by an electroshocker?
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
But I have read a newspaper article recently where a woman died by accident because her charger fell into the bathtub. are you an electrician or why are you so sure about that? at this point I might really try that because I am desperate. What do you think the worst case szenario is? It doesn't work and it just feels like I have been hit by an electroshocker?
If you think I & BottomlessPit are silly, feel free to do more research...
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
No gosh no, I don't think that anyone is silly. I am just greatful for help and information and further explaining. I am in general a logical person and you didn't really tell my why. You have to understand that I somehow trust my therapist and just want to know why she would say something like that. Is there a more detailed explanation than 'she is a moron'?
I even told here that I have read on the internet that this method is not reliable but she insisted that it would work.
Thats why I am asking you guys now.
 
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NoSurprises

Member
Mar 11, 2021
90
Be careful you could end with nerve damage and horrific burns (and alive)

theres a lot of factors you would need to consider, and I'm almost certain that it wont work in a modern house wich have trip/safety switches to kill the over-current

So yeah, dont believe your therapist, he/she is talking nonsense
 
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Ijustwantpeace

Member
Feb 21, 2020
30
No gosh no, I don't think that anyone is silly. I am just greatful for help and information and further explaining. I am in general a logical person and you didn't really tell my why. You have to understand that I somehow trust my therapist and just want to know why she would say something like that. Is there a more detailed explanation than 'she is a moron'?
I even told here that I have read on the internet that this method is not reliable but she insisted that it would work.
Thats why I am asking you guys now.
This has to be a troll
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
Be careful you could end with nerve damage and horrific burns (and alive)

theres a lot of factors you would need to consider, and I'm almost certain that it wont work in a modern house wich have trip/safety switches to kill the over-current

So yeah, dont believe your therapist, he/she is talking nonsense

We actually also discussed the burn issue. She says that since I am in water and not actually holding an electric cable my skin wouldn't be damaged what so ever.
I was hoping I would encounter an electrician or technician here on the forum for a more know-how based approach on this method.
 
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My_name_is_Luka

Specialist
Apr 28, 2020
320
It does seem a painful experience to me.
When you get in contact with a high voltage and the electric appliance is able to deliver a large current, the current will flow in your body from the point of contact with the electric appliance toward ground. It will flow through the path of lowest resistance and burn whatever it finds on its path (if the current is large enough).
If you are in water, an extended part of your skin is in contact with the water. So I assume that current will flow through your body from an extended area. Very likely it will go through your muscles and nerves.
Having an electrical impulse flow through a nerve is very unpleasant, as it will give you an intense sensation of pain (like when you get anesthesia in a nerve). Imagine that in all your body
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
It does seem a painful experience to me.
When you get in contact with a high voltage and the electric appliance is able to deliver a large current, the current will flow in your body from the point of contact with the electric appliance toward ground. It will flow through the path of lowest resistance and burn whatever it finds on its path (if the current is large enough).
If you are in water, an extended part of your skin is in contact with the water. So I assume that current will flow through your body from an extended area. Very likely it will go through your muscles and nerves.
Having an electrical impulse flow through a nerve is very unpleasant, as it will give you an intense sensation of pain (like when you get anesthesia in a nerve). Imagine that in all your body

Well, thank you very much for your explaination! can now assess wheter or not I will risk to cope with the pain.
 
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dyingalone123

Experienced
Sep 8, 2021
211
Well, thank you very much for your explaination! can now assess wheter or not I will risk to cope with the pain.
Curious how the charcoal method failed? Like can't you wait for the charcoal to cool off put it in the room and pass away peacefully?
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
975
you already got the answers you needed, but I'd just like to add a few things:

- if you get electrocuted in a bathtub, a high current will flow through the water, causing a short circuit, triggering the circuit-breaker and leaving you injured
- if you throw a hairdryer in the water, you're connecting both phase and neutral and probably creating a short circuit on both wires, with almost no current flowing through you. I'm not even sure if this method is real or just something we see in movies
- if your house has a residual current device, in the event of a small current flowing through phase and ground, It will quickly stop the circuit, leaving you unharmed

I think there's more than enough information for you to disconsider your idea
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
As the others have already said, this is not a good idea.

The only thing that can happen is that a blood clot forms and can eventually block important vessels. Then you will most likely have a heart attack or stroke - which is definitely not pleasant.
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
Curious how the charcoal method failed? Like can't you wait for the charcoal to cool off put it in the room and pass away peacefully?
Hi you:)
First I have to admit, that I didn't carry it out very well.
I decided to do it in my apartment. I am just afraid out at night at a random place in the woods or something. Then spent like at least 60 euros worth of ducttape. I sealed the entrance doorway very very well to prevent any gas from going out in the community hallway.
Then I purchased a grill and even some sausages as a decoy so that it would appear to my neighbours as a normal barbecue. I started the grill on my balcony and soon after neighbours where shouting up threatening to call the police and fireman because I aparently I am not allowed to start even a small table grill on an apartment balcony in my town. And they made me throw water on the coals.
But I was so so determined to take my life that night so I filled the bathtub with water and made a little boat with coal in a pot. I lighted it and waited for the coals to simmer down. then I sealed the bathroom door with ducttape as well, sat there and waited. But apparently there was still too much smoke so I teared up and every breath hurt like real bad. eventually I cut myself out of the room.
I am sure that it failed because I didn't carry it out very well.
But as I said before...it sounded appealing to die in the confines of my own home where I feel safe.
If I wouldtry it again. I would drive outside the city light the coals there and then carry it somehow up to apartment. Of course, I would again put up lot's of signs warning others about CO as a safety measure.
 
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My_name_is_Luka

Specialist
Apr 28, 2020
320
Well, thank you very much for your explaination! can now assess wheter or not I will risk to cope with the pain.
I've read a similar report from a person that experienced mild electrocution.
I guess that the amount of pain depends on how quickly you lose consciousness due to electric shock, but it might be something that you cannot control that easily.
I remember that one colleague of mine had electrocution as a child (not in water. he picked up electric cables with his hands). He said that he didn't remember anything, he just passed out. His parents managed to revive him (I don't remember if with cardiac massage). He only had burning marks and scars on his hands, where the current passed through.
Anyway, I would not suggest to experiment with it. You can read the stories on the executions of prisoners with electricity..
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
I've read a similar report from a person that experienced mild electrocution.
I guess that the amount of pain depends on how quickly you lose consciousness due to electric shock, but it might be something that you cannot control that easily.
I remember that one colleague of mine had electrocution as a child (not in water. he picked up electric cables with his hands). He said that he didn't remember anything, he just passed out. His parents managed to revive him (I don't remember if with cardiac massage). He only had burning marks and scars on his hands, where the current passed through.
Anyway, I would not suggest to experiment with it. You can read the stories on the executions of prisoners with electricity..
Thank you very much for your answer. I am extremely grateful for every piece of advice or information! ♥️
The thing is: For my suicide, I would't worry the most about the pain part. I have endured so much physical pain in my life and I can handle pain pretty well. Also I plan on taking loads of painkillers.
What my biggest concerns right now is chance of success and finding a method where I won't be able to back out due to SI (like exit bag for instance).

As I have mentioned before I just hoped that an electric applaiance thrown i to a bathtub would stop my heart of at least make me pass out so that I can drown i the bathtub as a result.

So you think 220V (that's what we have in our households i Europe) thrown into water wouldn't be enough to stop my hear?
 
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My_name_is_Luka

Specialist
Apr 28, 2020
320
I think that the outcome is too unpredictable. In particular because, as it has been already suggested, in a household there is a safety switch that will turn off the electricity as soon as it detects an overload. Even if your skin will not get burned because you are in the water (which I doubt), you could still have burning damage inside the body
 
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sufferingoftheworld

Member
Sep 6, 2021
12
you already got the answers you needed, but I'd just like to add a few things:

- if you get electrocuted in a bathtub, a high current will flow through the water, causing a short circuit, triggering the circuit-breaker and leaving you injured
- if you throw a hairdryer in the water, you're connecting both phase and neutral and probably creating a short circuit on both wires, with almost no current flowing through you. I'm not even sure if this method is real or just something we see in movies
- if your house has a residual current device, in the event of a small current flowing through phase and ground, It will quickly stop the circuit, leaving you unharmed

I think there's more than enough information for you to disconsider your idea

Thank you for taking the time to explain this to me. You clearly seem to know what you are talking about ♥️
I really have zero technical know how whatsoever, but I think I understand what you wrote.
This may be another stupid question, but do you think it would make any difference if I threw in a toaster or something else? Or can I encrease the chance of causing venrticular fibrillation in my heart by throwing in several electrical appliances at once?
Thx and nice greetings
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
975
Thank you very much for your answer. I am extremely grateful for every piece of advice or information! ♥️
The thing is: For my suicide, I would't worry the most about the pain part. I have endured so much physical pain in my life and I can handle pain pretty well. Also I plan on taking loads of painkillers.
What my biggest concerns right now is chance of success and finding a method where I won't be able to back out due to SI (like exit bag for instance).

As I have mentioned before I just hoped that an electric applaiance thrown i to a bathtub would stop my heart of at least make me pass out so that I can drown i the bathtub as a result.

So you think 220V (that's what we have in our households i Europe) thrown into water wouldn't be enough to stop my hear?
I insist. Your method is faulty and only likely to hurt you. Do you have some electrical knowledge? If you want, you can make an experiment: get a large non conductive recipient and fill with water. Test with a multimeter (continuity test) to check that there's really no electrical connection from the water to the ground. Then get a copper wire and put one side inside the water, the other at one of the multimeter's probes and the other probe on the ground (current test). Then, trow the hairdryer on the bathtub and see if the multimeter will show any current.
Thank you for taking the time to explain this to me. You clearly seem to know what you are talking about ♥️
I really have zero technical know how whatsoever, but I think I understand what you wrote.
This may be another stupid question, but do you think it would make any difference if I threw in a toaster or something else? Or can I encrease the chance of causing venrticular fibrillation in my heart by throwing in several electrical appliances at once?
Thx and nice greetings
You posted while I was writing and I didn't see it. Sorry

Different devices will only show different efficiencies. The "ideal" condition would be putting just the wire in the water. Putting several devices won't make a difference, because, in the end, it will be only one electrical point

Let me put it in a different way: I studied in a field related to electricity and I know electrical circuits very well so I could create a electrocution device myself and kill me that way, but I won't do it. I'm looking for other methods
 
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