S
sufferingoftheworld
Member
- Sep 6, 2021
- 12
Hi you guys!
To begin with. I am thinking and scheming about my suicide for years now. And knowing that there is a way out if things got too bad was the only thing calming me down. Now I have followed this forum for a time now and recently tried the CO method. Of course I fucked up....I had to cut myself out of the room I had perfectly sealed with ducttape because it simply felt like pouring pure fire down my throat.
I am now beginning to set up for the darknet to acquire opioids there, but that is very tricky and risky too.
The fact that killing myself is really hard (like when you are not in crisis but simply rationally decide to do so due to decades of suffering) feels so horrible. I can't put it in words.
I have talked to my therapist and she understands my plans of suicide because my situation really is hopeless. (it would take too long to go into details).
we talked about methods. she didn't advise me because she is not allowed to do that but medically speaking she thinks that there is a great chance of success with electrocution in a bathtub (like a hairdryer) even if there is an FI in the apartment. I was amazed by that because I have read everything in this forum about this topic and it seems like this method is not recommended.
Of course I would take a great deal of painkillers and all sorts of drugs I can get my hands on beforehand.
Have you guys any new thoughts about this method? Or is anyone willing to further discuss that?
nice greetings
To begin with. I am thinking and scheming about my suicide for years now. And knowing that there is a way out if things got too bad was the only thing calming me down. Now I have followed this forum for a time now and recently tried the CO method. Of course I fucked up....I had to cut myself out of the room I had perfectly sealed with ducttape because it simply felt like pouring pure fire down my throat.
I am now beginning to set up for the darknet to acquire opioids there, but that is very tricky and risky too.
The fact that killing myself is really hard (like when you are not in crisis but simply rationally decide to do so due to decades of suffering) feels so horrible. I can't put it in words.
I have talked to my therapist and she understands my plans of suicide because my situation really is hopeless. (it would take too long to go into details).
we talked about methods. she didn't advise me because she is not allowed to do that but medically speaking she thinks that there is a great chance of success with electrocution in a bathtub (like a hairdryer) even if there is an FI in the apartment. I was amazed by that because I have read everything in this forum about this topic and it seems like this method is not recommended.
Of course I would take a great deal of painkillers and all sorts of drugs I can get my hands on beforehand.
Have you guys any new thoughts about this method? Or is anyone willing to further discuss that?
nice greetings