On monday I'm going to see my doctor and beg him to prescribe Effexor to me again. I took it 2 years ago and that stuff literally turned me into a whole new person. I think it allowed my true personality to shine through the fog of anhedonia, social anxiety, introversion and crippling depression.
I don't like the idea of having to take a weird pill just to not feel like shit everyday but I've rationalized it like this. If someone is ill, he will have to take a medicine. Many people take a medicine every day for all kinds of physical illnesses. I feel like this because my brain doesn't work right, more specifically, the chemicals inside of my brain don't flow the right way, it keeps the feel-like-shit chemicals and discards the feel-good chemicals.
The medicine allows the feel-good chemicals to actually stick to my brain instead of being flushed out. I know this sounds silly but it makes sense to me.
I can't wait to take the medicine again. It surely beats suicide, especially because I have a new house waiting for me. I'll be alone but still, I should be happy about it, right? Not feel like utter shit. I should be thinking about furniture, being independent, that sort of thing. Not if I should take the SN in the garage or in the bedroom, or if my corpse will devalue the house when my parents will have to sell it off.
If anyone else took this medicine, please tell me if it worked for you. Of course if it worked you wouldn't be here, I also stopped posting after I felt better thanks to it. But still, it will take some time to work and in the beginning it actually makes you feel worse, it says so on the leaflet too. I'm going to need some help at least in the first couple of weeks, but I have no one. Reading about people who took it and it helped them would be of great help to me.
I don't like the idea of having to take a weird pill just to not feel like shit everyday but I've rationalized it like this. If someone is ill, he will have to take a medicine. Many people take a medicine every day for all kinds of physical illnesses. I feel like this because my brain doesn't work right, more specifically, the chemicals inside of my brain don't flow the right way, it keeps the feel-like-shit chemicals and discards the feel-good chemicals.
The medicine allows the feel-good chemicals to actually stick to my brain instead of being flushed out. I know this sounds silly but it makes sense to me.
I can't wait to take the medicine again. It surely beats suicide, especially because I have a new house waiting for me. I'll be alone but still, I should be happy about it, right? Not feel like utter shit. I should be thinking about furniture, being independent, that sort of thing. Not if I should take the SN in the garage or in the bedroom, or if my corpse will devalue the house when my parents will have to sell it off.
If anyone else took this medicine, please tell me if it worked for you. Of course if it worked you wouldn't be here, I also stopped posting after I felt better thanks to it. But still, it will take some time to work and in the beginning it actually makes you feel worse, it says so on the leaflet too. I'm going to need some help at least in the first couple of weeks, but I have no one. Reading about people who took it and it helped them would be of great help to me.
