Discussion Effect on reading active dying thread

[subj]

This morning I read two active dying threads of people dying while using SN. I am sad and somewhat shaken with anxiety like tightness in chest. I am wondering how others feel..Maybe its because I'm new here an havent read anything like it before. I feel bad for the presumably deceased. I think I need comfort and courage building. Im not sure what has me shaken. Is it reading of someone from them while they are dying?

 

[medjooled11]

I share the sentiment. I was going to post something similar, but decided not to. It definitely is sad.

 

[Julgran]

I share your feeling. I suppose it's easy to come here to this community while being preoccupied with one's own problems, and then you suddenly see a thread in which someone has posted something completely horrific, in your view, which puts you off balance.

I guess we intellectually know what kind of community this is, but I guess that some people, like us, can be taken by surprise anyhow. Perhaps there should be a disclaimer in the forum rules that states something like this: "This community is not fun and games. Keep in mind that what you may read here can disturb you. Please respect each other's decisions". The purpose of the last sentence is to try to prevent members from trying to prevent attempts that other members are posting about, under the influence of shock.

 

[cambrai33]

It's kind of expect the worst and hope for the best unfortunately

2 sets of pain, the first is the ongoing pain of existence against a short period of pain that ctb may involve to achieve an outcome that promises peace and release from suffering

 

[subj]

It's kind of expect the worst and hope for the best unfortunately

2 sets of pain, the first is the ongoing pain of existence against a short period of pain that ctb may involve to achieve an outcome that promises peace and release from suffering

yes. I gues part of what scare me is knowing my plan will deliberately be painful and hopefully prolonged when I do it

 

[cambrai33]

yes. I gues part of what scare me is knowing my plan will deliberately be painful and hopefully prolonged when I do it

I think you have to prepare for some discomfort/pain but know it is short lived. Unless it's N then I don't know of any truly peaceful endings except jumping but that has I very strong Si to counter and then depending on height a few seconds of something (can't begin to imagine) running through your mind. If it were me it would be trying to position the angle of body for maximum impact but as I clearly haven't jumped then who knows. It's pretty much instantaneous if done from the required height and with a suitable landing surface.

 

[Niko66]

I think it's tragic that they did not feel their passing was peaceful but if they are gone whatever suffering led them there is no longer, at least they are not in unbearable pain anymore. Dying alone sharing but a forum post to others does make me very sad though, if only we could have a comforting hand and voice that we trust in our final moments I am sure it would be so much better. (At least for those who share the sentiment of wanting support through it, I am sure many people have reasons for wanting to be alone in the end too)

 

[Myl]

It's definetly sad and I don't ever know what I'm supposed to say in them if anything.
Learning people are going whilst I am still stuck here call it selfish but it makes me feel really depressed.

 

[cambrai33]

I say nothing unless I have interacted with them before, it's my personal choice but I understand why others would want to show empathy in that way

 

[wait-for-the-bus]

......Im not sure what has me shaken. Is it reading of someone from them while they are dying?

What shakes me - is that its real and not just a wishful fantasy I had before I started visiting this forum.

 

[eryu]

I don't really feel anything when I look at them but my emotions are very numbed and I've become very detached.
I barely even feel interest or curiosity.
I think what you're feeling is more normal.
You'd expect people to feel distressed at the idea of others dying and especially killing themselves.
Even if you believe it's right for them and are glad for them that they're ending their pain, it still really highlights awfulness of it being necessary in the first place.
It's extremely sad and if you're really hit by the gravity then of course it would overwhelming.

You might also be struck by how awful and sad it is that you're thinking of it as an option for yourself.
Or maybe you feel it is macabre that it is so normalized and that everyone is responding very gently and acceptingly which is a huge, alarming deviation from the reactions you would normally expect.
There's many reasons it would be extremely upsetting.

 

[ket]

moonie's goodbye thread was like that for me. when they're very vivid with regular updates as they're dying, it really makes suicide seem more attainable.

 

[subj]

What shakes me - is that its real and not just a wishful fantasy I had before I started visiting this forum.

yes for sure

I think you have to prepare for some discomfort/pain but know it is short lived. Unless it's N then I don't know of any truly peaceful endings except jumping but that has I very strong Si to counter and then depending on height a few seconds of something (can't begin to imagine) running through your mind. If it were me it would be trying to position the angle of body for maximum impact but as I clearly haven't jumped then who knows. It's pretty much instantaneous if done from the required height and with a suitable landing surface.

Thank you, I have no use notr right to expect anything but pain and am plannind something that will make it painful and prolonged so that my end is a continuation of what I deserve.

 

[FuneralCry]

The threads do not affect me personally, as I do not see death as something sad. The person is now at peace and free from all suffering. They found what they were looking for. It is sad how much people suffer in life, but death is the end of all of that. I think maybe I feel this way as non existence is what I want the most, nothing can hurt me once I am dead.

 

[cambrai33]

yes for sure

Thank you, I have no use notr right to expect anything but pain and am plannind something that will make it painful and prolonged so that my end is a continuation of what I deserve.

I don't know you but I recognise the emotion of wanting to punish yourself through inflicting a long and painful death on yourself, that said I hope that desire changes as you progress along here.

Some will say you have the right to ctb in this way but I hope for selfish reasons of compassion that you don't

 

[subj]

I don't know you but I recognise the emotion of wanting to punish yourself through inflicting a long and painful death on yourself, that said I hope that desire changes as you progress along here.

Some will say you have the right to ctb in this way but I hope for selfish reasons of compassion that you don't

Thank you

 

[subj]

I under4stand but am surprised at the reaction to my desire for a painful end. Am I the only one that wants such a thing?

 

[cambrai33]

I under4stand but am surprised at the reaction to my desire for a painful end. Am I the only one that wants such a thing?

Probably not the only person who feels they deserve it but I can honestly say I would never wish it upon you. It seems that life itself has been enough punishment already. This site is strictly Pro Choice so I can't ask you not to but I hope you find a way to reconcile how you feel without inflicting unnecessary suffering upon yourself

 

[subj]

Probably not the only person who feels they deserve it but I can honestly say I would never wish it upon you. It seems that life itself has been enough punishment already. This site is strictly Pro Choice so I can't ask you not to but I hope you find a way to reconcile how you feel without inflicting unnecessary suffering upon yourself

thank u