Early loss of a parent?

[Smilla]

Who here lost a parent at a young age, ie before the age of 12?

I read recently that the number one risk factor for suicide later in life is early parental death.

 

[becca]

My Father died when i was 8 i'm 13 now.I still miss him but i'm ok now,i was depressed for a few years but i'm ok now,i think about the fun times we had together.He died in a car crash on his way home from work at night,a drunk driver crashed into him.

 

[Bunny13000]

I lost my mum at 9 she died of a heroin overdose I'm 31 now.....what life would of been like if that had never of happened and i grew up in a conventional household. Throughout my life i tend to attract people who have lost a parent. It's a secret society of pain.

 

[LookMomImFlying]

I first lost both my parents when they divorced when I was 10. My relationship with them was never the same thereafter and I was never the same either. That bubbly, smart, enthusiastic kid that I was, was gone forever. Then my dad was murdered when I was 19; my mom died when I was 21. So yeah, my head has been a complete mess pretty much my whole life.

 

[Bunny13000]

My Father died when i was 8 i'm 13 now.I still miss him but i'm ok now,i was depressed for a few years but i'm ok now,i think about the fun times we had together.He died in a car crash on his way home from work at night,a drunk driver crashed into him.

Sorry but my heart breaks for you knowing your only 13

 

[Smilla]

Thanks for your replies.

My Father died when I was four and I recovered but my Mom lost it and obviously life was never the same.

 

[Smilla]

I lost my mum at 9 she died of a heroin overdose I'm 31 now.....what life would of been like if that had never of happened and i grew up in a conventional household. Throughout my life i tend to attract people who have lost a parent. It's a secret society of pain.

I'm so sorry. I too tended to attract men who lost a parent—my ex husband lost his Mom to cancer when he was 12.

Secret society of pain indeed.

 

[becca]

Sorry but my heart breaks for you knowing your only 13

Thnx but it's ok i still have my mum.

 

[LookMomImFlying]

My Father died when i was 8 i'm 13 now.I still miss him but i'm ok now,i was depressed for a few years but i'm ok now,i think about the fun times we had together.He died in a car crash on his way home from work at night,a drunk driver crashed into him.

Really sorry for your loss. Gosh that had to be VERY tough for an 8-year-old.

 

[chronicpainnomore]

I was adopted as a baby by my maternal grandparents because my mom was an alcoholic and left me in my crib for days to go on a bender. They came to visit and found me alone. It took months to clear up the diaper rash. I had probably been uncared for in 2-3 days. They took me to Disney World when I was 6 to break the news to me, I remember not really caring, I was just like yeah, whatever. Can we go to the park now? I watched my biological mom self-destruct and die by the time I was in my teens. Additionally, I got to enjoy being raised by old people who died when I was in early adulthood. The whole thing was a shitshow. More than anything, it made me want to be a better parent to my kids, and makes it even harder to CTB. I'm terrified of the effect it's going to have on them.

 

[war-is-lost]

Yeah, I lost a parent when I was 7, I didn't really know how to react at the time. Only later did I find out it fucked me up pretty bad. all those unprocessed grief eventually boiled over when I reached adulthood. That's what my pysch doc told me anyway. I feel I am fucked either way.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

1982 , 18yo , just got to get out of home ;

Go to Uni ... forbidden to study religion by insane cult victim mother.

Mother dies eight months later ... messy cancer .

Fail exams . Decide I'm stupid . Oceanically take responsibility for it all ... toxic broken father and brother .
Start trying to figure it all out on my own.
As immigrant family - zero support.


Too ashamed to see a therapist ... I'm too disgusting .

I kind of wanted her to die .

Guilt .


Been digesting this stuff all my life .

Humiliating , painful ... on a good day ; interesting .

 

[dwight]

i never lost a parent; I've just never seen them, my real ones. I was adopted to by two gay men whilst a child, really young. And now 22, have only ever known my father. One of them, the other left when I was still young. I've also got 2 other adopted sisters; and no brothers. dealing with unheralded events, i find myself here, eagerly needing to die.

 

[Strumgewehr]

I haven't but I wish I had. That way I would't have to worry about them.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I haven't but I wish I had. That way I would't have to worry about them.

I postponed ctb because of aged father .

He died five years ago .

I'm suicidal state of mind with no commitment I guess .

My life is defined by ' not making a decision is a decision in itself '.

It's like addiction ?

Substance abuse is only part of it ... it is as much the state of mind of the user ...

( I was / am an alcoholic ... and have noticed rampant ' avoidant' behavior that replaces alcohol ... internet , coffee , sleeping , aimless fretting , no goals etc etc ... a sense of not belonging ... catastrophising ... I'm not good enough / they're not good enough ... lots of dusty bottles in the cellar ... fine vintages ... " a very nice '93 trauma with that sir ? " )

 

[Strumgewehr]

I postponed ctb because of aged father .

He died five years ago .

I'm suicidal state of mind with no commitment I guess .

My life is defined by ' not making a decision is a decision in itself '.

It's like addiction ?

Substance abuse is only part of it ... it is as much the state of mind of the user ...

( I was / am an alcoholic ... and have noticed rampant ' avoidant' behavior that replaces alcohol ... internet , coffee , sleeping , aimless fretting , no goals etc etc ... a sense of not belonging ... catastrophising ... I'm not good enough / they're not good enough ... lots of dusty bottles in the cellar ... fine vintages ... " a very nice '93 trauma with that sir ? " )

I feel you. Aimless drifting Indeed.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I am quietly RAGING now.

Is this where the creative FIRE begins ?

For what audience is this suffocating theater ?

To burn , burn bright .... say what needs to be said ...

Be shot down dead .

But , know these truth's , mutely said.

Whispered ...

Gasped ...

Shouted through the gurgled breath ,

Just is NO , justice known .

Dreamed , hallucinated , Lived .

 

[bigj75]

My mother died when I was 9 years old.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

My mother died when I was 9 years old.

I've fallen off the wagon and am raging .........

- I can't imagine what that is like .

I was 18

A long time ago now ...

I'm just angry about all the things I wanted to say .

Stymied teenage rebellion .

For me it seems that it was a thwarted , through guilt and grieving , teenage rebellion .

Maybe it was the loss of a primary carer at your age ? @bigj75