Venting Dysphoria

[EternalShore]

I have really bad dysphoria rn btw... Why was I cursed to be like this? :(((

I was thinking about how maybe, just maybe there could be some hope for me as a boy, and I could date a girl, so my parents wouldn't constantly be... yeah~ and maybe they're right that God won't let me into Heaven if I am a girl because I wasn't born one. :(
but when I think about it, and knowing how awful everything would be, knowing I'd have to fit those masculine gender roles , where boy clothes for the rest of my life, and be without my bf it just makes me cry... :((( Why was I born to be like this? :( Why couldn't I be born a girl? Why does the world try to make my life as hard as possible?

Having to fight for every little thing is just grinding me to pieces... :(((

Someone I like lots and am really close to will always hate me for something... :( No matter what I do! >_< I just want to go...

You know what I hate is those people who are trying to convince you not to transition or whatever, and they... yeah, it's just like pro-lifers tbh~ I don't care about you, but I care about my good conscience! :/
But like those people are always like~ yes, be male. Then what? What am I going to do as a male? How am I going to improve my life by being male? And then, they can't say anything~ They know it's hopeless... I want to die... Why am I forced into this place? :( I didn't choose any of this for myself, but the world likes making me suffer in anyway it can as if just dealing with college wasn't bad enough already :/ "Let's find ways to make EternalShore as jealous and depressed as possible too!" :/

 

[InversedShadow]

Such parents, really should show more understanding.. preassuring u with their own vision and putting a God in an argument... just as if they knew what God thinks lmao
Its a shame ur close ones always end up hating you, even if u like them.. it just says very badly about them to begin with :// if they were real friends they never would be like that, it just means they are undeserving of u. and there are also these who think dysphoria will just dissapear if they give some half-baked advice with a simplistic approach towards the issue and not giving any further guidance, because they think one just becomes a gender an individual hated to be to begin with!
Fighting might be worth it just to see how the future will be, but it sure is difficult especially given these circumstances, maybe atleast ur bf will turn out not to be a close person ending up hating you, if he is a real worth trusting person then he will never be this bad.
Sadly I dont know answers for ur questions, nor Im a person with dysphoria, and I dont really know how to give a good advice other than some individual opinions so Im just bumping it, hoping that maybe someone else will answer it better (bump)

 

[luks]

I have really bad dysphoria rn btw... Why was I cursed to be like this? :(((

I was thinking about how maybe, just maybe there could be some hope for me as a boy, and I could date a girl, so my parents wouldn't constantly be... yeah~ and maybe they're right that God won't let me into Heaven if I am a girl because I wasn't born one. :(
but when I think about it, and knowing how awful everything would be, knowing I'd have to fit those masculine gender roles , where boy clothes for the rest of my life, and be without my bf it just makes me cry... :((( Why was I born to be like this? :( Why couldn't I be born a girl? Why does the world try to make my life as hard as possible?

Having to fight for every little thing is just grinding me to pieces... :(((

Someone I like lots and am really close to will always hate me for something... :( No matter what I do! >_< I just want to go...

You know what I hate is those people who are trying to convince you not to transition or whatever, and they... yeah, it's just like pro-lifers tbh~ I don't care about you, but I care about my good conscience! :/
But like those people are always like~ yes, be male. Then what? What am I going to do as a male? How am I going to improve my life by being male? And then, they can't say anything~ They know it's hopeless... I want to die... Why am I forced into this place? :( I didn't choose any of this for myself, but the world likes making me suffer in anyway it can as if just dealing with college wasn't bad enough already :/ "Let's find ways to make EternalShore as jealous and depressed as possible too!" :/

as someones who just had their 6 month hrt anniversary, i can tell you that starting medical transition is going to help a lot. a lot of the anguish you feel, outside from your ignorant parents, has a lot to do with how your emotions are processed. estrogen will change the chemistry in your brain and make you feel how you were meant to. youre going to be much happier with a female brain. if you need resources on obtaining hormones and you live in the US, i can help. so sorry youre dealing with this. sending hugs.

 

[EternalShore]

as someones who just had their 6 month hrt anniversary, i can tell you that starting medical transition is going to help a lot. a lot of the anguish you feel, outside from your ignorant parents, has a lot to do with how your emotions are processed. estrogen will change the chemistry in your brain and make you feel how you were meant to. youre going to be much happier with a female brain. if you need resources on obtaining hormones and you live in the US, i can help. so sorry youre dealing with this. sending hugs.

oooo~ Congrats on your anniversary! ^_^
yes, I would very much like them if you would be willing to give them to me! :3 I can't really start on it until I get a stable income tho unfortunately~ :/ [I also need to be able to afford a sperm bank simultaneously, so my bf and I can have kids together~ :)]

 

[depressedカリちゃん]

Hi
fellow transfem here.
I totally get you. Being born this way is just hell. I knew I'm trans 9 years now and took many steps to fit in my desired gender but there was and IS so much mentally and physical pain you get when choosing to transition. Even now after all I've been through I still wanna give up.

But I can tell you there are many gender euphoria moments you get when transitioning. You'll loose friends and gain other.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im sorry you have to experience the curse of being trans aswell. Going through transition can bring a lot of pain and joy. Im almost on 7 months hrt and i have to say atleast my self image has been better since before. If i hadnt had as much other problems i could actually be somewhat happy with my life despite being trans. I hope you find a way to transition safely soon <3

 

[EternalShore]

Hi
fellow transfem here.
I totally get you. Being born this way is just hell. I knew I'm trans 9 years now and took many steps to fit in my desired gender but there was and IS so much mentally and physical pain you get when choosing to transition. Even now after all I've been through I still wanna give up.

But I can tell you there are many gender euphoria moments you get when transitioning. You'll loose friends and gain other.

It literally is! >_< Who the heck would want to be trans! D: There really is... :((( idk why people try to make it worse by shaming you and all that, but they're all just evil ig~ :( Anyways, yeah, I don't have many friends anyways, but I'm more so worried about my bf hating me if I detrans (as I'd have to break up with him) or my parents hating me for being trans (thus, condemning their parenting, condemning myself to Hell [even tho God doesn't say anything against] or whatever other stuff they'd like to spout). I wish you the best too, especially with whatever brought you to this site! ^_^

Im sorry you have to experience the curse of being trans aswell. Going through transition can bring a lot of pain and joy. Im almost on 7 months hrt and i have to say atleast my self image has been better since before. If i hadnt had as much other problems i could actually be somewhat happy with my life despite being trans. I hope you find a way to transition safely soon <3

yup... It truly is a curse. :( Why couldn't I be born cis? :((( I pray to be turned into a cis girl so often! >_< I'm glad you seem to be doing better as far as transitioning goes! ^_^ hopefully, your other problems are solved one day too! :D