Venting dysfunctional and stressed

[Okokaykay]

This is going to sound extremely stupid but I'm so incapable of doing simple things. I've made life so hard for myself by hiding away due to my anxieties.
Next week's project for my course involves traveling to an unfamiliar area to take photos- Which is simple enough for most people, but terribly anxiety inducing for me.

I dont know how to catch a bus (in the literal sense lmao) or navigate an unfamiliar city alone at ALL. I feel like I'm borderline agoraphobic and just getting the train to my uni in the morning brings me to the brink of tears.

Every day that I'm not at home, I'm on high alert- I feel so out of it all the time and make a total fool of myself in front of others.

I've been crying over the thought of next week for over an hour now and it's so pathetic. I'm 19- I'm supposed to be "at my prime" and have fun, but I literally dont know how to because everything makes me ridiculously anxious.
I want to hide away from the world forever. I'm such a failure.

 

[quietwater]

I understand perfectly how you feel, I felt like this for years, and only recently I started to feel more at ease with going out. Since june, I think??
Anyhow, is there someone you can hang with to feel more at ease in going out? An animal, a pet, if you have one can help in this, if you don't feel confident in seeing other people. Or just a presence, maybe a phone call with a trusted one.
If you don't feel like going out right away, staying in a "safe space" together can help. For my case specifically there wasn't one, as I was always alerted even in my house, but I found it less stressing to stay there than in public spaces.
It's something that helped me a bit in leaving my house this year, since I couldn't do it for a long time.
I hope you will feel better, and even if I am not in your exact situation, just know that you have my entire support and affection from here <3

 

[Rack.-]

This is going to sound extremely stupid but I'm so incapable of doing simple things. I've made life so hard for myself by hiding away due to my anxieties.
Next week's project for my course involves traveling to an unfamiliar area to take photos- Which is simple enough for most people, but terribly anxiety inducing for me.

I dont know how to catch a bus (in the literal sense lmao) or navigate an unfamiliar city alone at ALL. I feel like I'm borderline agoraphobic and just getting the train to my uni in the morning brings me to the brink of tears.

Every day that I'm not at home, I'm on high alert- I feel so out of it all the time and make a total fool of myself in front of others.

I've been crying over the thought of next week for over an hour now and it's so pathetic. I'm 19- I'm supposed to be "at my prime" and have fun, but I literally dont know how to because everything makes me ridiculously anxious.
I want to hide away from the world forever. I'm such a failure.

I know how it feels. But this anxiety you feel when leaving your home is something that disappears the more you get used to leaving your place of comfort. Don't you have somebody that might come with you to fo that project so you don't need to go on your own?

 

[RosebyAnyName]

This is going to sound extremely stupid but I'm so incapable of doing simple things. I've made life so hard for myself by hiding away due to my anxieties.
Next week's project for my course involves traveling to an unfamiliar area to take photos- Which is simple enough for most people, but terribly anxiety inducing for me.

I dont know how to catch a bus (in the literal sense lmao) or navigate an unfamiliar city alone at ALL. I feel like I'm borderline agoraphobic and just getting the train to my uni in the morning brings me to the brink of tears.

Every day that I'm not at home, I'm on high alert- I feel so out of it all the time and make a total fool of myself in front of others.

I've been crying over the thought of next week for over an hour now and it's so pathetic. I'm 19- I'm supposed to be "at my prime" and have fun, but I literally dont know how to because everything makes me ridiculously anxious.
I want to hide away from the world forever. I'm such a failure.

Reminds me of when I was in school. I wanted to see a park at the other end of town, so after school I got on the city bus. I was very nervous going on a city bus, but I had planned this trip for over a week and I really wanted to see this park so I mustered up all of my courage and tried to go anyways.

However, when the bus stopped at the park... I was too scared to get off. I spent all of my energy just getting on the bus, that I didn't even have the energy to get off once we arrived at the park. Even though it was definitely the right stop (I could see the park right out the window), I still wondered: "is this the right stop? Did I do something wrong?" and before I had the time to think, the bus had already left. So, I stayed on the bus, waited for the bus to go back around its normal route, and I got off at the same stop I started at. I felt like a failure, like I was doing great at first but my own mind threw a wrench into itself for no reason.

Don't feel bad about being scared of public transport, especially if you're going to an unfamiliar location. It took me years of practice to get more comfortable with it, and even now I still think public transport is way more stressful than it needs to be. You're not alone in the feeling.

If you want practical advice: Try to learn and memorize your route back home first, then plan your route to the actual location. Having more confidence that you can get back home makes going out less intimidating.