dying

[Schadenfreude]

My mother has kept me in her grip for the past month due to me relapsing on heroin recently. Prior to that, I've been stuck at home with nowhere to go for four months. Even before that, it was almost two fucking years. I understand she just wants to 'protect' me, but if anything else, it's so detrimental to my mental health that I just want to go and fucking kill myself right now. I'm already in my mid-20's and it's fucking pathetic how I have to live like this. I'm so reliant on my family that it disgusts me. I was always sheltered as a child and never properly learned how to fend for myself or blend into adult society. But I know I have to be patient and wait for the right moment. But my patience is running so low. I'm tired of this farce.

 

[Jean4]

You are relatively new, so welcome to the forum.

I can relate to your mother. She seems to be a lot like mine was.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. We are here for you to vent to.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

So sorry to hear this. My mum is incredibly overbearing and mentally abusive, but I'm stuck living with her for now, which really pushes me hard to CTB. It's really difficult.

Don't ever be afraid to PM or chat if you need company. We're all a family and will happily be there for you. x

 

[Innereye]

The world isn't just. Its not your fault that circumstances gave you your limitations. Its very unfortunate that people in your position blame themselves. If you are otherwise physically healthy circumstance can change. Its up to your judgment weather its worth continuing. But dont be mad at yourself. Anyone who has/would judge you would shatter in your shoes.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

It's OK. Some of us are mid 30s and still at home. Be easy.

 

[Schadenfreude]

You are relatively new, so welcome to the forum.

I can relate to your mother. She seems to be a lot like mine was.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. We are here for you to vent to.

Thank you. But every time I vent towards anyone, I feel incredibly guilty because I feel like I'm burdening them with my bitching. I appreciate the sentiment though. :)

So sorry to hear this. My mum is incredibly overbearing and mentally abusive, but I'm stuck living with her for now, which really pushes me hard to CTB. It's really difficult.

Don't ever be afraid to PM or chat if you need company. We're all a family and will happily be there for you. x

Same here. She doesn't understand personal boundary/privacy. It's driving me insane. Thank you, PM me as well if you ever need, too.

The world isn't just. Its not your fault that circumstances gave you your limitations. Its very unfortunate that people in your position blame themselves. If you are otherwise physically healthy circumstance can change. Its up to your judgment weather its worth continuing. But dont be mad at yourself. Anyone who has/would judge you would shatter in your shoes.

Due to my last attempt, I'm crippled as a result. Finding a job is proving difficult due to that as well. It's really frustrating. Haha, funny you would use that terminology since I literally did shatter my feet and ankles lol.

It's OK. Some of us are mid 30s and still at home. Be easy.

Fair enough. It just bothers me of how reliant I am on them though. They enable me a lot in that aspect as well, so that definitely doesn't help.