Alienated_Candle
Solitude is Peace, Loneliness is Prison
- Oct 17, 2023
- 4
I felt so silly today, I'm 7 days cigarette free and I have been screaming at the walls. It's like all my problems compounded on me and I felt this overwhelming desire to come to peace. I didn't put a lot of thought into it and just went in the kitchen and found an old friend.
As I traced my vein with the shinny slender blade and began to press. It became quite apparent that the knife was very dull. I went back to the kitchen and realized I have no knife sharpener, am I really an adult with no sharpener? I realize in that moment that all I am is collection of bad choices, a forced economic policy spanning an entire lifetime leaving me unprepared for all the things I really want.
I'm being considered for a 6 figure job and I couldn't care less, my online dating apps are just endless offers from any man I choose and yet I won't choose any of them, & I live in paradise in Florida and hide inside all day. I don't understand why I won't allow myself to be happy, I don't know why I hate myself, all I think about everyday is the people that have wronged me and the lament of being abandoned. I want a different life but I'm incapable of choosing it.
As I traced my vein with the shinny slender blade and began to press. It became quite apparent that the knife was very dull. I went back to the kitchen and realized I have no knife sharpener, am I really an adult with no sharpener? I realize in that moment that all I am is collection of bad choices, a forced economic policy spanning an entire lifetime leaving me unprepared for all the things I really want.
I'm being considered for a 6 figure job and I couldn't care less, my online dating apps are just endless offers from any man I choose and yet I won't choose any of them, & I live in paradise in Florida and hide inside all day. I don't understand why I won't allow myself to be happy, I don't know why I hate myself, all I think about everyday is the people that have wronged me and the lament of being abandoned. I want a different life but I'm incapable of choosing it.