Drunk suicide

[Emily_Numb]

Does anyone else get fucked up and at the end of the night, want to kill themselves?

 

[feast or famine]

Yes, mostly because people have less control of themselves when drinking. The last time I got drunk, I wanted to basically just start pouring SN down my throat. Luckily, I did not, but I feel like drinking definitely heightened my suicidal thoughts.

I stay away from liquor for the most part for many reasons, but also because I don't honestly trust myself completely to not make impulsive decisions when I'm drunk. I make impulsive decisions sober, lol, so drinking just makes shit worse.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I quit drinking last year due to change in beliefs. But I may yet utilise it for exit.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I feel more suicidal during night than during day.

 

[Mm80]

Yes definitely.
Not the action of doing it impulsively but those suicidal thoughts and plans start manifesting themselves in my mind.

 

[Emily_Numb]

I just got all my self harm kit because it might make me feel better.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Even without being drunk at the end of the night my suicidal thoughts become way stronger. And my anxiety gets worse

 

[Mafe]

Definitivamente eso me impulsa más al cbt. Pero es mejor haciéndolo sobrio, así nadie dirá que fue efecto del alcohol

 

[Emily_Numb]

I'm thinking of getting in the car and driving to the big bridge near me (UK)
I just want to die

 

[Mm80]

• 
  

• I'm thinking of getting in the car and driving to the big bridge near me (UK)
  I just want to die

  Come on you know better than this, ive seen you give out so much really sensible advice on here, maybe sleep on it? Xx

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Yeah slightly concerned I'm gonna try partial or something when out of it. The start and middle of a drunk are so much fun though! Coming here helps.

How are ya today?

 

[Emily_Numb]

Tried partial last night. Got fucked off I couldn't do it right, no surprise.

 

[TheQ22]

Hi Emily, sounds like you're feeling really down today. I was like that yesterday - after drinking, which I'm pissed off about. I'd quit and then had a beer on my birthday and that was it. Off drinking again.

I'm torn at the minute between trying to carry on or just give up. Can't make up my mind.

Take care.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Hi Emily, sounds like you're feeling really down today. I was like that yesterday - after drinking, which I'm pissed off about. I'd quit and then had a beer on my birthday and that was it. Off drinking again.

I'm torn at the minute between trying to carry on or just give up. Can't make up my mind.

Take care.

I'm so depressed today. Self harmed last night. Wrists are cut up pretty bad. Still haven't seen my husband today as I'm hiding out in a separate bedroom. I am dreading having to explain it to him. (Again) FML

 

[TheQ22]

Does he not understand? Or have any problems himself with feelings?

 

[Emily_Numb]

Yeah slightly concerned I'm gonna try partial or something when out of it. The start and middle of a drunk are so much fun though! Coming here helps.

How are ya today?

Hanging out of my ass. How about you love?

Does he not understand? Or have any problems himself with feelings?

He doesn't understand. He wants to but how can you even reason with this?

 

[TheQ22]

Must be difficult for you both.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Must be difficult for you both.

Impossible. That's why it's better if I leave this planet. Making others around me suffer while I'm still here is unbearable.,

 

[grungeCat]

Yes. Lately I tried to do a partial hanging while being very drunk in the evening. I didn't manage even to hurt myself. That night my mother passed away. Now I I got crazy and I don't know how to feel. About anything at all. She was drunk too. We were very close to each other. She knew about my suicidal tendencies and she literally was doing everything to prevent. I'm so sorry mother my mental problems were such a pain to you. But you know it's neither my fault nor your fault. Now I'm in such a deep denial that I even don't cry anymore. My whole body and mind feel like she's still alive. Can't fight back this feeling.

 

[TheQ22]

Impossible. That's why it's better if I leave this planet. Making others around me suffer while I'm still here is unbearable.,

I'm just so tired. I worry about how my kids will be affected, and my family, it's why I want it to look accidental / natural, e.g. CO in tent and/or hypothermia.

 

[Smudgedlines]

Emily... you can answer this or tell me to mind my own... but how much are you drinking? It's a depressant and it won't help. My ex is an alcoholic and is at his lowest during and after his binges. It fucks up his thinking

 

[Emily_Numb]

Emily... you can answer this or tell me to mind my own... but how much are you drinking? It's a depressant and it won't help. My ex is an alcoholic and is at his lowest during and after his binges. It fucks up his thinking

I'm a binge alcoholic. I know when I do drink, it's waayyyyyy too much.

 

[Smudgedlines]

I'm a binge alcoholic. I know when I do drink, it's waayyyyyy too much.

You know bingeing is worse.... the recovery even harder. Do your suicidal thoughts get worse during and after?

 

[Emily_Numb]

You know bingeing is worse.... the recovery even harder. Do your suicidal thoughts get worse during and after?

During. I know binging is worse. I was sober for 3 years until last September.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Hanging out of my ass. How about you love?

Alright I was actually gonna get drunk last night but realised I wanted junk food more and actually chose the food.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Alright I was actually gonna get drunk last night but realised I wanted junk food more and actually chose the food.

I want junk food now! Bring me a maccys please? Lol

 

[Brick In The Wall]

My suicidal urges increase dramatically for a day or so after heavy drinking. I have 2M2B, so alcohol may end up being my method as well.

 

[Emily_Numb]

My suicidal urges increase dramatically for a day or so after heavy drinking. I have 2M2B, so alcohol may end up being my method as well.

I've not heard of 2M2B before and had to look it up. Very interesting. Not seen this method for CTB before. Yes, I need to be careful this next few days and not act impulsively. Thankfully I get a refill of my Diazapam today.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've not head of 2M2B before and had to look it up. Very interesting. Not seen this method for CTB before. Yes, I need to be careful this next few days and not act impulsively. Thankfully I get a refill of my Diazapam today.

Theres been a few threads on it here before. From the research I've done on it I think it's more peaceful than SN. The downside being that if you're found/rescued you're going to have irreversible damage.

 

[TheQ22]

So it's like almost pure alcohol?

God that would be mad stuff. I take it that it knocks you out quick?