sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
798
Wasn't sure if this belonged in sui discussion or recovery so I'm just posting here.

-

I graduated HS, then immediately went into college. In addition to being suicidal, I'm rethinking going through with college this semester (and this year as a whole).

I've taken 4 college classes already via concurrent enrollment and aced them (currently have 4.0) so I know I'm capable of completing the ones I'm currently in with at least C's. But I'm already burnt out just three weeks along and I don't think continuing is a good idea if my mental health stays as shitty as it is. I might lose my composure and have a breakdown if things get overly stressful, which they already are. And while I know I'm capable I'm just not capable right now. And I could fail or get shitty grades.

I'll have to talk to my parents about it since it's ultimately their decision but I'm afraid that even if they say it's ok they'll start charging me rent, and as I don't have a source of income I'd lose what I've saved up to buy a gun with. Or otherwise make my day to day less pleasant. I do have a mostly free ride, though, so the economic cost isn't that big. The time and effort that was spent enrolling, getting books, figuring out software, etc would probably frustrate them. And also I'm not sure if my scholarships and stuff will even carry over.

I don't have a driver's license, so my hope would be to just work on getting that over the gap semester/year. My CTB plan requires a car, and if I don't CTB I'd still much rather not have the stress of driving practice + school. My hope would be to just get my license, get experience driving, buy gun and finally CTB over this gap year. Or if I change my mind at least have a license.

I'm also really not sure about my major (accounting). I don't really want to be an accountant, so some time to think would be good.

Anyway-

Is this a good idea? Bad idea? What do I do? I don't know if they'll listen and if I stay in the courses I'm in I'll probably going to get under 75% or fail.

edit: for reference I turned 19 in July so I'm young
 
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GuessWhosBack

GuessWhosBack

The sun rises to insult me.
Jul 15, 2024
466
I think it's best to take some time off school to figure out what you want to do in life. Graduating one or two years late isn't going to make a big of a difference in the end. Minimise your stressors, find out what you like doing during your gap year, and go from there.

p.s. Your grades will only matter for your first career job usually. I've given and been in several interviews and never bothered looking into grades unless they were fresh out of school.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,194
To have or not to have a college/university degree isn't a death sentence in such a young age (assume max early 20's here). If you're not mentally stable now to finish college but you decide to force yourself to go through then what's your college/uni degree worth if you get the dgree but you're a mental wreck?

Ultimately it's your own decision and your parents should support you in what is best for you not for the sake of the degree.
 
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Gangrel

Gangrel

Specialist
Jul 25, 2024
377
As an alternative you could lessen your classes taken if that's an available option, delaying your studies but not completly stopping.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
798
Alright, so, I tried talking about it with my dad and it didn't go particularly well

He said he would rather me at least finish the semester and that it might invalidate my scholarship, then tried to give me some vitamin gummies and did the "just start on this assignment for now" shtick. I told him that I've been doubting this for months and didn't really even want to sign up which helped a bit. We eventually concluded that it's a maybe but he insisted we talk about it more. I tried explaining that I just can't do it anymore at the moment and that the sooner I withdraw the less this is going to tank my GPA but he didn't really get it.

My mom's going to be the harder sell; I don't think she'll be okay with it at all. I just want to withdraw before the 0's start coming in and it starts becoming a permanent blot on my record.

I could try to pull the mental health card I guess but I don't want to worry them any more than this probably already is. Or for them to make me talk to a therapist or something, which I don't want at all.

I wish I could just explain to them that it's either A. trudge through school or just flunk out, definitely killing myself within two years out of stress/despair/feeling trapped in addition to my other issues or B. take a break and just work on my license / possibly get a job, small chance I don't kill myself. But I can't ever do that unfortunately

-

Also, thank you to everyone who responded. I'll update intermittently
 
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Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
941
You're going to ruin your GPA and lose your scholarship. Read your syllabus, particularly what your professor requires for an extension. Ask for one at the end of the semester, giving you an extra semester to complete your work. Go to the student disability office and request academic accommodations.

Focus on what you're doing right now and finish it, even if you need extra assistance from your professors. Go make friends. College is supposed to be fun! The quickest way out of poverty and independence is your college degree, so don't put it off.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
798
So, we talked and did some research and I actually will not lose my scholarship(s). It lasts five years, the exact time in which I take my classes within those five years doesn't matter. And I only need 3.5 years to graduate.

My GPA shouldn't be negatively effected by a withdrawal, especially if I have an A. That's what I've read on their site and been told anyway

Also, apparently I can choose to just withdraw from individual classes. I think I'm going to try and just withdraw from two of them rather than all four.
 
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ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,204
Maybe drop some classes and see if that helps rather than dropping all? Only reason I say that is because in my case, my scholarships require continuous enrollment for the fall and spring semester.

Edit: Just read your last reply, disregard everything I've said lol. I do think trying to withdraw from half will likely be better than withdrawing from all. I think that would leave you with at least something to do. I'm glad your GPA won't be affected nor will you lose your scholarships. Make sure to ensure it doesn't require continuous enrollment though, as I almost took a semester off to try and get an internship but learned i would lose my second-largest scholarship
 
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Little_Suzy

Little_Suzy

Amphibious
May 1, 2023
941
So, we talked and did some research and I actually will not lose my scholarship(s). It lasts five years, the exact time in which I take my classes within those five years doesn't matter. And I only need 3.5 years to graduate.

My GPA shouldn't be negatively effected by a withdrawal, especially if I have an A. That's what I've read on their site and been told anyway

Also, apparently I can choose to just withdraw from individual classes. I think I'm going to try and just withdraw from two of them rather than all four.
You better get that in writing from the university. lol Is this an academic scholarship or tuition assistance?

Withdrawals can affect your program, (W's are recorded as attempted hours) depending on the college and whether you intend to pursue a higher degree. I believe in the US, they are limited to six.

If these are degree-required or prerequisite courses, who will pay the tuition when you retake them? Before withdrawing from classes, consult with the school's mental health clinic to ensure that the reason for the W's is documented as a disability. This can be useful later on should you need to dispute your financial aid or program admissions. Speak with your degree plan counselor as well, before withdrawing online on your own.

Personally, students with mental illnesses (disability) benefit greatly from course extensions and academic accommodations. It keeps you enrolled in your classes without affecting your tuition or graduation date. Even if you are not paying your own tuition, this is important. I'm not saying you should take the classes if you're exhausted, but there are legitimate healthy ways to avoid Ws on your transcript that you should consider first.

Your diagnosed mental illness is sufficient, as students who claim to be suicidal can be legally expelled from school and not allowed to return. This is your first semester, so learn about the disability laws that protect you! If none of this helps, don't worry. I wrote it to help other students who are struggling, as there are too many gatekeepers on campus. I wish you success in your academic endeavors!
 
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sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
798
You better get that in writing from the university. lol Is this an academic scholarship or tuition assistance?

Withdrawals can affect your program, (W's are recorded as attempted hours) depending on the college and whether you intend to pursue a higher degree. I believe in the US, they are limited to six.

If these are degree-required or prerequisite courses, who will pay the tuition when you retake them? Before withdrawing from classes, consult with the school's mental health clinic to ensure that the reason for the W's is documented as a disability. This can be useful later on should you need to dispute your financial aid or program admissions. Speak with your degree plan counselor as well, before withdrawing online on your own.

Personally, students with mental illnesses (disability) benefit greatly from course extensions and academic accommodations. It keeps you enrolled in your classes without affecting your tuition or graduation date. Even if you are not paying your own tuition, this is important. I'm not saying you should take the classes if you're exhausted, but there are legitimate healthy ways to avoid Ws on your transcript that you should consider first.

Your diagnosed mental illness is sufficient, as students who claim to be suicidal can be legally expelled from school and not allowed to return. This is your first semester, so learn about the disability laws that protect you! If none of this helps, don't worry. I wrote it to help other students who are struggling, as there are too many gatekeepers on campus. I wish you success in your academic endeavors!
Thank you

The information I have is from the site and my parents, to my knowledge my college (lol rhyme) doesn't care and neither does the program.

I wouldn't want to withdraw siting suicidality or mental illness, that would just worry my parents and as such fuck up my ability to CTB.

if I'm being honest I'm just doing this to make life easier for the immediate future, I don't plan on sticking around very long (hopefully out by March). My main motivation for no longer wanting to completely withdraw is that if I don't have any schoolwork I'd have to get a job
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
From my experience as another uni-goer, if your in your first four years to get your bachelors they won't care about what you do or don't do. Taking quarters or even full years is absolutely fine, and in most scenarios you will be welcomed back without much issue. I will say though that depending on what degree your ultimately chasing, dropping out kinda adds to an already massive time you will need to spend studying(for instance I'm in my fourth year and after this will have another 4-5 to get my doctorate). There are times where I feel like I absolutely need a spare year but honestly the thought of having to be late twenties getting my degree already terrifies me.
 
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