Dreams

[goodoldnoname923]

I've never really been one to have dreams and i have no clue why,i've had a handful across my life but there isn't too many detailed ones to think of,but these last few months I've definitely had alot of dreams about the friend i lost i think around 5-6 these last months since their departure

I've also shed alot of tears too despite shrugging to cry…i've cried more in these last few months as i have in 20 so years

I remember crying infront of an old close friend of mine i was overwhelmed by emotions and she screamed at me on a call "STOP CRYING!" I didn't know at the time but i felt this had a major impact on my ability to cry,i always struggled with it as is but crying infront of someone your comfortable with to be shut down immediately…it obviously triggered them i may have an idea to why looking back but there is many things she did that i believe had an effect on my mind

I was her test subject…i was someone she constantly called a supposed "lover" while never tying the knot…it was a situationship a one sided one and i loved her…they lied about having a heart condition…and worst part about it is i don't even think they owned up to it