Draft public suicide note

[DyingToDie123]

I don't think I'll have the guts to actually post this, but I wrote it and wanted to share. Thoughts/feedback welcome.

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Hi. This is a scheduled post. I planned to take my life just before I scheduled this at [date/time]. Hopefully it worked and I didn't get caught by the police or incapacitated in a hospital. If not we have an awkward situation to deal with here.

I've found a wonderful, supportive community among this group of Facebook friends. For most of you, there's nothing you could have done to help. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you give me hope that there is good in the world, even if you're just an acquaintance who likes my posts from time to time. I appreciate you.

What I won't say is that this couldn't have been prevented. I never made an attempt to take my life, and probably never would have had it in me to, until a group of people decided to exile me from their social circles and a larger group that I got basically all of my professional and social fulfillment out of, based on (entirely false and unfounded) accusations that I was homicidal with a plan and intent to hurt a particular person. That's of course a very short and one-sided version of the story, and I won't claim that I was entirely in the right, but I don't think I deserved to have everything worth living for taken away from me over some not-so-nice (but nowhere near homicidal) things I said on a low day.

As I've said in a previous post, this is the most painful experience I've ever been through, and I've been suicidal all my life. (I have journal entries from when I was about 5 to prove it.) If you weren't out there talking or listening to shit about me, there's no amount of support you could have given me to take away this pain. If you were, I don't know what else to say other than that I warned you, so many times, and that I brought your names and our last messages to the bridge with me to convince me to make the jump.

I'm sorry to those who feel guilty or hurt over this decision. It's not fair to you. I tried so long to stay for you. The truth is that many people have made it abundantly clear that I am not wanted in this world, and today, those people won.

If you want to honor my legacy, please don't donate to a suicide prevention charity. Please don't advocate for barriers at your local suicide bridge. Please don't ask for bans on the few places where people can freely talk about this stuff. Please please please don't make it harder for people to leave this earth. Make this world a better place to live or make it easier to leave. That's all I ask.

Thank you for reading. <3

 

[dweams]

To improve readability, I'd suggest shortening long sentences.

For example, take this sentence:

I never made an attempt to take my life, and probably never would have had it in me to, until a group of people decided to exile me from their social circles and a larger group that I got basically all of my professional and social fulfillment out of, based on (entirely false and unfounded) accusations that I was homicidal with a plan and intent to hurt a particular person.

Breaking it up would turn it into this:

I never made an attempt to take my life. I probably never would have had it in me to do so. This changed when a group of people decided to exile me from their social circles. They also exiled me from a larger group that I basically relied on for my professional and social fulfillment. This decision was based on accusations that I was homicidal, which were entirely false and unfounded. They claimed I had a plan and intent to hurt a particular person.

By breaking up long sentences, you make it easier for the reader to follow the narrative and understand the sequence of events.

Hope this helps. :)

 

[DyingToDie123]

To improve readability, I'd suggest shortening long sentences.

For example, take this sentence:

Breaking it up would turn it into this:


By breaking up long sentences, you make it easier for the reader to follow the narrative and understand the sequence of events.

Hope this helps. :)

Yeah this is a recurring problem in my writing haha, thank you for the recommendation!

 

[dweams]

Yeah this is a recurring problem in my writing haha, thank you for the recommendation!

No problem.

 

[uncat_]

Are you sure this bridge is a good option? i think the human threshold is around 35-40m high to have a really low chance of survival.

 

[DyingToDie123]

Are you sure this bridge is a good option? i think the human threshold is around 35-40m high to have a really low chance of survival.

It's a common suicide bridge, so much that they're putting up taller barriers in the near future. I don't know of anyone who's survived the jump.