Down by 50 runs in the bottom of the 9th

[Worthless loser]

This is what my life is like. There is literally no hope, and I have no future. There is no point. Everyone grasps the odds when it's baseball, but no one will extend that same understanding when it is abundantly clear that I've lost in life. Death would be a mercy for me.

There is. No. Hope.

 

[departing]

That's how I feel about my life. I'm down by dozens of runs and I have no chance of catching up. I've long reached the point of giving up.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'd say I've got ten miles to go on a nine mile road.

 

[Una]

It has just passed a mid-day where I am.

I can see houses scattered on hills and the sea shimmering in the distance.

Early autumn. Air still mellow. Before the winds bring a chill in their wings.

Someone is laughing in the house below.

I am crying in the flat above. It is a familiar setting.

There is nowhere to go and nothing to do. Nobody to call or being called by.

It is the silence of withdrawal.

A robin landed on the iron railing of my balcony … and brought to mind a poem I once loved:


Farewell

If I die,
leave the balcony open.

The little boy is eating oranges.
(From my balcony I can see him.)

The reaper is harvesting the wheat.
(From my balcony I can hear him.)

If I die,
leave the balcony open!

(F.G. Lorca)



In another moment, searing pain will rip my chest open. I cherish it for it says that once I have lived … as a human.