Venting [Don't watch if triggered by SA mentionning] I feel guilty for fantasizing about getting r*ped

[Ailashan]

(Im a male, pretty young too. Also please don't judge me)

For the past year i've started to fantasize about getting raped even though i have never been assaulted before. I wish i got raped when i was younger so i got even more hurt by people, so i could have a "good" reason to hate myself even more, to want to die even more than i already do. So people around me would actually be concerned for my mental health, so i really had the worst story possible, so i would be even more broken than i am right now. I can't help but feel guilty about all this, but i can't control it.

 

[username8888]

(Im a male, pretty young too. Also please don't judge me)

I can't judge you I have a relative who draws sexy girls with dick and calls them birls. So I am in no position to judge you lol

(Im a male, pretty young too. Also please don't judge me)

For the past year i've started to fantasize about getting raped even though i have never been assaulted before. I wish i got raped when i was younger so i got even more hurt by people, so i could have a "good" reason to hate myself even more, to want to die even more than i already do. So people around me would actually be concerned for my mental health, so i really had the worst story possible, so i would be even more broken than i am right now. I can't help but feel guilty about all this, but i can't control it.

Not triggered, I think you are brave to share that openly without giving a f*ck about ppl. Cool. I follow.

 

[Old Friend]

Rape fantasies are pretty common. People often fantasize about doing or having things done to them that they wouldn't want to actually happen in real life.

The thing with fantasies is that you can decide what's going to happen. Real life is not so straightforward.

 

[puella]

The suffering you have felt is completely valid.

So people around me would actually be concerned for my mental health

You deserve to be shown concern unconditionally. I care about you.

 

[username8888]

Rape fantasies are pretty common. People often fantasize about doing or having things done to them that they wouldn't want to actually happen in real life.

Yes you are right. I sometimes imagine myself being eaten by a group of hungry seagulls for fun. It's hilarious and fun to imagine. But in reality those birds would kill me and painfully. So no thanks. Some things are better in fantasy than reality for me. And that's one of them.

 

[Old Friend]

That's very Alfred Hitchcock.

 

[lastcuriosity]

Isn't having rape fantasies one of the most common kinks? It regularly enters the top 10 fetishes for women. For men it's less common but if you ask the gay community, it's pretty common too.

 

[lachrymost]

I don't have a particular thing for rape, but I do fantasize about getting raped to earn sympathy, even though I understand that rape victims still get scrutiny and BS so it might not work out as well as I would hope. The appeal for me too is in the hope that you don't have to justify or explain why you're so fucked up. They just accept it and think your reaction is valid because it's rape—obviously you're a mess. Naturally you want to die. What could be worse? So I totally get it. I don't feel guilty about fantasies, but I know it's not so easy for everyone. I really hate the concept of thought crime.

 

[Ailashan]

Isn't having rape fantasies one of the most common kinks? It regularly enters the top 10 fetishes for women. For men it's less common but if you ask the gay community, it's pretty common too.

Depends on what you call a fetish, if you are talking about sexual fetish i am not aroused by the thought of getting raped, i just wanna feel even more traumatised and broken than i am already am. If that makes sense to you